DEAR ABBY: I have four nieces with families who live near me. I see none of them on holidays. I am never invited to spend time with them. They have children who have children, and I understand that they would be involved with each other. We email and keep in contact on Facebook. They know my house is off-limits because my partner is a hoarder and there's no room.

I hint to them in cards, "Hope to see you over the holidays" or, "Would love to see the great-grandbabies." (The oldest is 3 and I haven't seen all four of them since they were born.) My partner is a transgender woman, but I am assured this doesn't bother them.

I miss them and feel left out of the family even though we email. I am their deceased father's only sibling left. Should I be more aggressive, or just stop trying? I have other nieces and nephews who live far away and are more interested in me as a human being and an aunt. They say they would like to be with me and love me. -- EXCLUDED IN NEW YORK

DEAR EXCLUDED: It should be apparent to you that these nieces are ignoring your hints. Could you visit with them in a public place -- neither your house nor theirs? It's worth asking. But if they don't take you up on it, please, concentrate your efforts on those relatives who treat you with the warmth and caring you deserve.

DEAR ABBY: I got engaged five months ago, and my wedding date is seven months from now. My soon-to-be sister-in-law and bridesmaid has just announced she's pregnant with her second child and due a week after our wedding.

I have conflicting emotions. While I'm happy for her family to grow, I can't help but worry it will detract from my fiance and me. I'm not sure what to do. Do I keep her as a bridesmaid, one week away from delivery? She might be late, but there's also a chance she could go into labor before or during our wedding.

Can I replace her so she won't have to worry about the "what-ifs"? Her husband is a groomsman, so this decision will affect everyone. Should I leave her in and chance it? It breaks my heart to think they might not be able to attend at all. I'm just so overwhelmed, and this is adding to the stress of planning my wedding. Please give me some advice. -- WORRIED BRIDE-TO-BE

DEAR WORRIED: Talk to your about-to-be sister-in-law. It would be difficult to impossible to fit a bridesmaid's dress on someone whose girth is growing constantly. Add to that the possibility that she may be unable to attend the wedding because of an "early arrival," and you wouldn't be normal if you weren't concerned.

Offer her the opportunity to fill another role during the ceremony -- perform a reading, perhaps. Then be sure to have a backup for her. To do this would not be an insult; it may save your sanity as the big day for each of you approaches.

DEAR ABBY: My mother is 90 and has been a widow for 10 years. When we moved to this city 30 years ago, my parents made friends with a group of people. In this group was a couple nobody in our family liked (Dad especially), but Mom remained friends with them. Abby, the husband is a smarmy narcissist.

A couple of weeks ago, I went into my mom's house (not unannounced) and found my mom in bed with this man. I can't describe the revulsion I felt. My problem is, I don't know how complicit my mom is, or whether he has been grooming her over the years and is abusing her. That was my initial thought because he tried it with me many years ago.

Mom tried to cover up what was going on ("He was fixing the blinds"), but I can't unsee what I saw. I don't know if she lied because she's complicit or afraid. How do I handle this? I haven't spoken to Mom since, except to voice my disgust the next day. -- DISGUSTED DAUGHTER IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR DAUGHTER: Resume talking to your mother. The fact that her lover came on to you years ago is the reason you are concerned about her welfare. That said, you are not the morality police; at 90, your mother deserves to have a sex life if she chooses.

DEAR ABBY: There's this guy I've been friends with since ninth grade whom I have always had a crush on. We talk, and he's a funny and nice guy, but he gives me mixed signals. He's shy and not overly affectionate. He doesn't go to parties or events like that. I want to make a move, but I'm afraid if I do, I'll creep him out.

I want to respect his privacy and boundaries, but I also don't want to miss out on a chance to get to know him more. I have made it my goal to get to know him as a friend and classmate before trying to get to know him romantically. I feel a connection to him, unlike previous crushes or relationships I have had.

My mom keeps telling me I'm too young to tie myself down to a guy (I'm 17) and to keep my options open, but I feel content with him, and I've never felt as much in common with anyone the way I do with him. My friends sometimes laugh at the idea that I like him, but even under all his introverted reclusiveness, I see an amazing human being and a wonderful guy. Any advice? -- CRUSHING HARD IN MARYLAND

DEAR CRUSHING: I'm glad you are taking this slowly because it may take some time for this person to develop romantic feelings for you (or anyone). Keep talking and joking with him. If an event comes up, consider asking him to join you and your other friends. If he responds positively, keep doing it, and slowly he may come around. I wish you luck.

DEAR READERS: Along with the millions of Americans who are observing this Memorial Day, I would like to add my own prayer of thanks for those courageous men and women who have sacrificed their lives in service to our country. May they rest in peace. -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I were married nine years. He unexpectedly left me when COVID first hit. We were apart for a year and eight months and ended up divorcing. I filed because, even though I didn't want to believe it, I eventually accepted that it was over. Even though he hadn't actually filed the papers, he had taken all other necessary steps. It was the first time in my life I had ever felt this level of heartbreak.

After time passed, he reached out and wanted to reconcile. We've been back together ever since, and he has asked me to get remarried. I happily agreed because he has been in therapy and made amazing changes.

My friends have mixed feelings about our remarrying. They saw how devastated I was when he left and how hard I worked to pick myself up and start over. We didn't have a wedding our first time, so this time we are planning to have one. The date is set and the venue is booked. I have all these feelings of excitement, but it's hard to share them because they get dismissed or there's a snide comment from my friends.

They were there for me when we split up, and I understand their hesitation. They don't want me hurt again. But it's starting to hurt my feelings and makes me question if having a wedding is advisable. -- HAPPY BUT CONFLICTED

DEAR HAPPY BUT CONFLICTED: The date is set, the venue is booked and you are happy. The next time any of your friends makes a sarcastic comment, tell them you don't appreciate it and you aren't going to change your plans. Tell them they are on the guest list, but if they can't attend your wedding and wish you a happy future, they're free to send their regrets. They may be protective, but at this point, they need to ease up on their resentment and give you both a chance to start over.

DEAR ABBY: One of my dear friends is Christian. She knows I'm Jewish. I don't expect her to acknowledge many of the Jewish holidays because I'm sure she's unfamiliar with them. However, Hanukkah is ubiquitous, and it would be nice if she would wish me a "Happy Hanukkah."

Every year, she wishes me a "Merry Christmas," buys me a Christmas gift and a Christmas card. She's a truly nice person, and I don't think she's deliberately being dismissive or insensitive. I have mentioned this to her several times over the years, but it seems to fall on deaf ears. Without insulting her or seeming ungrateful, how can I let her know this bothers me? -- OBSERVANT IN OHIO

DEAR OBSERVANT: If she's a dear friend, she's not likely trying to upset you. A month before the beginning of Hanukkah this year, "remind" her that you do not celebrate the Christian holiday of Christmas. It should allow her enough time to find a suitable card for you. If she forgets after that, do not exile her into the wilderness, but forgive her.