DEAR ABBY: I have seen you mention in your column your cookbooklets of favorite recipes. I hope the meatloaf recipe is included. Years ago, I cut out your meatloaf recipe, and it's been a staple at my house ever since. I did make one significant change: I use ground bison instead of beef. It's healthier and tastes great. Thanks, Abby, for your years of entertaining, wise words. -- NANCY M. IN OREGON

DEAR NANCY: I'm pleased you have enjoyed preparing (and eating!) that meatloaf, and I was intrigued that you substituted bison for the beef. I'm pleased to share the recipe again, and yes, it's included in my cookbooklet set. I have made it for years. It makes delicious sandwiches the second day if there's any left over.

The cookbooklet set features recipes for appetizers, soups, salads, vegetable and side dishes, main courses and delicious desserts (which are my downfall). The set, which also includes tips on entertaining, can be ordered by sending your name and address, plus check or money order for $16 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mt. Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price.

INGREDIENTS:

2 pounds ground beef

1 cup seasoned Italian bread crumbs

1/2 cup finely chopped onion

1/3 cup ketchup

1/3 cup water

1 teaspoon garlic powder

2 eggs

Pepper to taste

Salt, if desired

4 strips uncooked bacon, if desired

METHOD:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

In large bowl, combine all ingredients except bacon. Shape into a loaf; place in 9-by-5-inch pan. Arrange bacon strips on top of meat mixture, if desired. Bake for 60 minutes. (Serves 6 to 8.)

By the way, the cookbooklet set also contains a tasty recipe for turkey meatloaf for those who have sworn off red meat, which clearly I haven't.

DEAR ABBY: I started having sex with a married co-worker. He cheated on me with other women. When I found out, I told him to tell me he was sorry because I didn't deserve it. He could have just left me alone. He won't apologize. What do I do? I'm really upset about it. He's married, living a single life. -- NOT THE ONLY ONE IN GEORGIA

DEAR NOT THE ONLY ONE: You knew this co-worker was married, and yet you helped him cheat. Why are you surprised that you are not the only other woman in his life? You are hardly the wronged woman; his wife is. If you want to improve your life, move on and find someone you can have an open and aboveboard relationship with.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 16 years, but after the birth of my first child, our marriage went downhill. My husband withdrew and went out with friends often. When my brother was in the hospital, I traveled three hours with my newborn baby to visit him. My husband drove up separately, stayed a few hours, then left to go to a concert with a female friend.

Our sex life dwindled down to nothing, and I felt like we were roommates. I became depressed and started having manic episodes. I'm on medication now and taking care of myself. I have always resented my husband for this. We have two kids now, and I'm afraid if I leave him it will hurt the children. I tried three different marriage counselors with him, but he wasn't interested.

I now spend my time doing everything with the kids and focusing on my well-being. I met an old high school acquaintance on Facebook, and our friendship has turned romantic. I don't see him often, but when I do, I want to be with him always. We are both scared of what could happen. I love him so much. He is kind, sweet and caring. Do I wait until the kids are 18 to leave? -- READY FOR CHANGE IN THE EAST

DEAR READY: Make an appointment to talk with an attorney. When you do, be sure to ask what kind of financial information you may need to ensure you get a fair settlement should you decide to end this charade of a marriage.

Once you have the information, tell your husband that the status quo isn't good enough for you and offer him one more chance at marriage counseling. If he refuses -- and he probably will -- proceed with setting yourself free.

Raising children in the atmosphere you have described may be more damaging than getting a divorce. A warning, however: Once you become available on a full-time basis, your lover may not be ready or willing to become your knight in shining armor. Be prepared to fend for yourself, just in case.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in love with two men at the same time, but one of them happens to be dead. Twelve years ago, I met a wonderful man, "Carl." We had each other at "Hello" and became engaged two weeks later. We were very happily married until I lost him to cancer six years later.

Two years after I lost Carl, I decided to dip my toe back in the dating pool. A few months later, I met "Philip." We also were immediately attracted to each other and are very happy together. We've been a couple for four years and will be married this summer. He's very understanding about my feelings and memories of Carl. Am I wrong to marry this man I love dearly when I still have feelings for my late husband? -- WONDERING WIDOW IN MISSOURI

DEAR WONDERING WIDOW: When a spouse dies, the love the couple had for each other doesn't also die. The love you feel for Carl can last as long as you do, and you shouldn't feel guilty about it. I have said many times that grief is an individual process. That you have fallen in love with Philip doesn't lessen your love for your late husband. Celebrate your good fortune. I wish you and Philip a lifetime of happiness together.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 42 and my guy friend is 59. He's a wonderful person and a great provider. I've known him for about a year now, but he seems a bit controlling. He wants me around seven days a week and expects me to be this submissive woman that I'm not. I'm very independent. I always earned my way in life with little to no help at all.

I'm not perfect. I admit I can be a little confusing at times. But his constant complaining about how I'm not there confuses me. When I come over and hang out and spend time with him, he pushes me away and says it is my fault. Mind you, I have a 7-year-old daughter. I like him a lot, but he tends to be too much. Should I let it go or try to find some common ground and work things out? -- CONFUSED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR CONFUSED: I would vote for the former. Because you have a young daughter to care for, you cannot be at this "wonderful" high-maintenance man's beck and call 24/7. If you can convey that to him, it may save the relationship. However, if he can't accept reality, you are better off moving on without him. You need a partner who is prepared to accept you for who you actually are rather than who he wants you to be.

DEAR ABBY: My brother passed away six months ago. With difficulty, I am coping. We were very close. Our birthdays were four days apart, and we enjoyed many celebrations together over the years.

My birthday is coming up and I'm dreading the day. Worse than being sad is pretending that I'm not. My immediate family understands I don't want any cards or "Happy Birthday" greetings. Would it be appropriate for me to contact people before the day and ask them not to send cards or gifts? I cringe at the thought of any celebration this year, or having to thank people for the attention. Can I throw any cards I receive in the trash? It's my party, and I'll cry if I want to. -- SURVIVING SIS IN THE WEST

DEAR SIS: Considering your loss, there's nothing inappropriate about telling friends and family you do not want to celebrate this upcoming birthday. Tell your closest friends and family members what your wishes are, and post it on the internet as well. If you receive anything after that, you are free to do with it whatever you wish, including donating or trashing it.

DEAR ABBY: Every time I leave the house, my wife needs a play-by-play as to where I am going, how long I'll be away, etc. Years ago, I used to be a player, but age has caught up with me. Advice? -- GETTING FRUSTRATED IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR GETTING FRUSTRATED: I find it disappointing that you have only stopped cheating because time, and not your conscience, finally caught up with you. Tell your wife what she needs to know. It's the price you are paying to regain your credibility and her trust.