DEAR ABBY: My sister ghosted me after learning I was the beneficiary of my late brother's IRA. She was demanding that I share the inheritance with our mother and possibly with her. I refused. I accepted the money to use for Mom because she may need it in her declining years.

So now I have lost a brother AND a sister. Do I just wait for her to begin communicating when she's ready? At times, we need to talk about our 88-year-old mother. Am I guilty of all the things she accuses me of: being greedy, manipulative, a betrayer, a liar? I'm not sure how to mend our rift. -- SANE SIS IN INDIANA

DEAR SIS: You did nothing wrong. Your sister has convinced herself that you (and your late brother) have somehow "cheated" her and your mother out of something that was rightfully hers. Aside from splitting the money your brother left you with her, there's nothing you can do to mend that rift -- and it's unlikely any amount of money could fix it now.

DEAR ABBY: My in-laws live out of state, and they would stay with us when they visited. Once my son was born, I told my husband they would need to stay in a hotel because we no longer have the room. They are also the most disrespectful houseguests, and I have terrible insomnia.

My MIL speaks to me only when my husband is around, and my FIL complains about everything -- our streaming services, saying I need to buy more towels and complaining that we don't have soda. I have tried explaining to my husband that they send my anxiety into the next dimension, but because none of this happens when he's around, he doesn't understand. I have had to ask my doctor to give me a small supply of medication for my nerves.

Since they have been staying at a hotel, they complain about the cost and the accommodations. I have offered to pay for a rental. Now she's telling my husband she will buy a sleep sofa for when they visit. I have tried telling my husband all the reasons why this is not a good idea, but it always ends up in an argument.

Am I being unreasonable, and should I just suck it up a few weeks a year, or should they respect the fact that having them as houseguests does not work for our family? -- DEFEATED IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR DEFEATED: Your in-laws appear to be quite a handful. Your solution about them staying in a hotel or rental when they visit is sensible since they are unpleasant to be around when their son is absent. If, however, your husband won't back you up, consider spending as much time away from the house as you can during those visits. It will give Grandma and Grandpa more time to bond with the little one and save your sanity.

DEAR ABBY: I want to thank you for a letter you published in 2007. It came from a woman saying her daughter had "convergence insufficiency disorder," in which the eye drifts and causes double vision. I was 61 and had that problem, but I never knew what it was.

I would get headaches from reading and did poorly in school. A teacher once suggested my mother have my eyes checked. The doctor gave me the standard eye chart test, which showed nothing. He recommended more tests, but Mom reasoned they would find nothing and be a waste of money. She insisted I was lazy, and believed corporal punishment would make me study harder.

In 1980, after I had a family, I started night school. It was difficult, but I taught myself to focus on each word before moving to the next one. After you printed that letter, I went to an eye doctor who prescribed "prism" glasses, which made reading much easier. Many people have been diagnosed with this problem, but I'm sure a lot more have not been diagnosed. Children can be given exercises to correct it, but the older a person gets, the less likely the exercises will help.

Your column reaches a lot of people, and it would be nice if you could mention this again to help others the way you helped me. Thank you. -- BOB IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR BOB: Among other things, my column is sometimes a community bulletin board. I'm glad something you read here made your life better. Because good vision is increasingly important in our tech-focused world, it is to everyone's benefit to have an eye examination once a year. Anyone with persistent vision problems should schedule an evaluation with an ophthalmologist or an optometrist so it can be corrected.

DEAR ABBY: How do I get my husband of 20 years to stop lying and hiding things from me? I have tried explaining to him that when he lies or hides things, especially small petty stuff, it makes me wonder what else he has lied about. When I confront him after catching him in a lie, he flips the script to make it about me and makes me feel like I have done something wrong. He also tries to manipulate me by bringing up my past or boasting about how I will never find a better man.

I'm at a loss because he shows no compassion when I am visibly upset. He doesn't try to make things right, and he never admits to anything I call him out on. We end up in a huge fight/argument when I try to express my feelings. Please help. -- NOT MATTERING IN MICHIGAN

DEAR NOT MATTERING: You are married to a classic narcissist who isn't going to change his pattern of gaslighting you. Make an appointment with a licensed mental health professional who can explain how unhealthy (for you) this marriage is and help you to rebuild your self-confidence. The truth is, there ARE "better men" out there, but you will never meet one until you are rid of the poor excuse for a man to whom you are currently married.

DEAR ABBY: My mother passed away years ago. I have one older sister, "Nadine." Following my mother's death, with the blessing of my father, Nadine and I divided Mom's jewelry. My sister almost immediately began digging through closets and drawers and removing items from our parents' home every time she visited our father.

Dad asked if I wanted any particular items that belonged to Mom. I mentioned three things, but told him I didn't want to take anything from his house until he passed on. I thought it would be disrespectful to do otherwise.

Nadine threw her future daughter-in-law a wedding shower, and gave her two antique items that had been Mother's -- items I recognized immediately. I felt upset that she hadn't at least mentioned them to me before she gave them away. I have the only granddaughter, and may have wanted to pass those items down to her.

Following the shower, I spoke with my father. He agreed that before Nadine gave them away she should have asked him or me if either of us wanted them. Am I wrong to be upset over this, or should I just let it go? -- HEARTSICK IN THE WEST

DEAR HEARTSICK: I will be direct. Most young people today do not want heirloom items -- they prefer new, modern and contemporary things. I was recently at the memorial of a wealthy older gentleman. He had spent most of his life (not to mention millions of dollars) on rugs, antique furniture and other collectibles. I overheard an antique dealer talk about how "over the last 20 years, the market for those things had taken a dive."

Your sister was wrong to grab your mother's possessions without consulting you or your father first, but if this will cause a rift in the family, let it go.

DEAR ABBY: We are a group of neighbors with the same breed of dog, and we walk together every Saturday morning. All our dogs are well-behaved, except for one -- a young, unneutered male that is very active and humps anything that moves. Its owners are against neutering. This dog especially goes after our spayed female dog, who tries to resist him, to no avail. We often must intervene.

The owners try to curb his behavior, but are not consistent enough that it sticks. On top of that, when they go away they expect one of the families in the group to provide free dog-sitting, and are rarely available to reciprocate. The couple generally are nice, but just have poor dog manners. So far, we dog-sit for them sparingly because of this issue. What else can we do? -- DOGGONE TIRED OF IT

DEAR DOGGONE TIRED: The owners of that horny animal are irresponsible and misguided. Their unneutered dog has become a nuisance. Instead of tolerating the bad behavior, talk to your other neighbors about the problem, if you haven't already. The owners of the offending dog should be excluded from the group. If that doesn't happen, walk your dog in a different direction and quit sitting for them.