DEAR ABBY: My first long-term girlfriend ghosted me. She died soon afterward, and I'm left with a gaping lack of closure. I'm 19. We had dated for four years and we were best friends. We didn't live together, but planned to in the coming months. I intended to marry her.

One day out of the blue, she cut me off. She had been acting depressed, but convinced me she was fine when I (gingerly) confronted her about it. She ghosted me the next day. She blocked me, changed her number and refused to speak to me when I showed up at her house. Everything to my knowledge had been fine between us.

Weeks later, she had a terrible accident at work, and died in the hospital. I learned about it only afterward, from her mother. Her parents have denied me access to her room, to some shared personal and sentimental belongings and wouldn't let me adopt her pets, which were sent to the pound. Most painful for me, they asked that I not come to her funeral. Her family believes that because we weren't married and we hadn't been dating at the time of her death that I had no place with her things after her death, even though we were best friends who spent almost half a decade together.

I never got to speak to her, say goodbye or receive any answers. My family isn't being kind about the situation, either. They feel the same way as her family does. I feel like a widow. I have many questions that will always be left unanswered. How do I move on from this? -- MOURNING IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR MOURNING: Please accept my deepest sympathy for your loss. It is regrettable that your family hasn't been supportive during this difficult time. A way to move forward would be through grief counseling. Your doctor (or your family physician) should be able to give you a referral. However, if that's not possible, consult your religious adviser or even the funeral director who handled your girlfriend's service, because that person may have a resource for you.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 69-year-old divorced female. I dated a guy 40 years ago for about three years. I broke up with him because he wanted to be with me 24/7. I'm classic rock; he's totally country. Music is important to me. (I play piano.)

He was a great guy who was always there for me. We enjoyed a lot of vacations together. When we broke up, he said he wouldn't call me. Three years later he called to tell me he was getting married, and asked me what had caused our breakup. I told him to give his fiancee some space.

Now he's divorced and messaging me. He says he wants me back, he has never stopped loving me and is more in love with me now than ever. I haven't responded. What should I do? -- TORN UP IN MICHIGAN

DEAR TORN UP: How do you feel about him? If you think with the passage of time you could be happy with him, agree to see him. If not, tell him you felt smothered by him when the two of you dated, and you have no interest in resuscitating a dead romance.

DEAR ABBY: My 28-year-old daughter moved back home when COVID hit. She works as an influencer and also has a part-time job as a content creator. She doesn't pay bills. My husband doesn't want her to pay rent, etc. I feel it's important for her to do so. She does pay for her groceries and gas.

She stays in her room day and night. She used to go out with friends, but now doesn't do anything. She says she has cyber friends. We have asked her to come out with us at times, but she refuses. Another problem is, she hasn't gone to the doctor or dentist in a very long time. I talked with her about it, and she blamed me for not taking her. I offered to go with her, but she doesn't do anything about it.

My husband doesn't think there is a problem, but I feel there is. I feel we have enabled her, although we didn't mean to. Should we be charging her rent? How do we get her to become more social? How do we get her the right help so she can move forward in life? -- CONCERNED MOM IN RHODE ISLAND

DEAR CONCERNED MOM: A step in the right direction would be for your husband to take his head out of the sand and admit that his daughter may have a problem. The next step would be to have a frank talk with her and tell her that if she is going to continue living with you, she must agree to have medical and dental checkups. Go with her so you can understand what is going on, because your daughter appears to have some emotional issues. Her "world" may be on the web, but unless she can find one on terra firma, expect her to be under your roof forever.

DEAR ABBY: I've been in a relationship with my partner (we're both male) for more than four years. He argues nonstop about everything from politics to why the squirrel outside ran across the street. Daily, I hear him complain about everything, from the news to the grocery list, laundry, you name it.

A friend of mine will be in town this weekend. He invited my partner and me to a football game. When I shared this with my partner, he immediately declined, complained about the invite and said he'd rather stay home. I've had it up to here with his negativity, and I have decided to end this relationship.

I'm not happy with this, and I have decided that if my out-of-town friend wants me to start a new life with him, I would be all for it. I'd rather be happy and not have to deal with this. Life is too short. Your thoughts? -- DONE WITH IT IN COLORADO

DEAR DONE: If you are not happy with your partner, level with him about it. If counseling would improve things, see if he's willing to give it a try. If not, consult an attorney who specializes in family law and proceed with ending the union.

A word of caution, however, and I cannot stress this too strongly: You implied that you would like to be romantically involved with the friend who invited you to that football game. JUMPING INTO ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP BEFORE YOU HAVE RECOVERED FROM THIS ONE WOULD BE A HUGE MISTAKE. Give yourself time to detoxify. Meet people. Date around. You will have plenty of fun if you do, and less of a chance for another failed relationship.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of three years wants me to move in with him. He's a great guy. He's loving and affectionate, kind and caring. We want the same things for our kids and have quite a few things in common. We enjoy playing sports, and we're both foodies. He checks a lot of my boxes, so I know I'm ready for marriage.

We both have kids. He has a 10-year-old girl; I have a 4-year-old boy. He has asked me multiple times to move in with him, but I'd like to be engaged or married before doing so. He wants us to live together first because my relationship with his daughter hasn't flourished. He'd also like to build a trusting relationship with my son, which I understand and find equally important.

He says we must live together before he proposes to me because we need to work on our finances and careers, etc. He has now given me an ultimatum -- either I move in, or he moves on. What am I to do? Am I asking for too much? -- COERCED IN FLORIDA

DEAR COERCED: I don't think it's too much to want a commitment from your loving, affectionate, rigid and controlling boyfriend before moving in with him. "Move in or I'm dumping you" doesn't seem particularly "loving" to me -- it seems more like emotional blackmail.

Tell him you have concerns because your relationship with his daughter -- after three years -- "hasn't flourished." Does she live with him? Things won't improve if your presence is forced on her. From where I sit, it appears he wants to "try you on for size" with absolutely no commitment on his part. If you do what he's demanding, there is no guarantee he will ever propose marriage. Move on.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a retired married man. My sister, who is four years younger, was recently widowed. She was married for a long time to an abusive alcoholic who eventually drank himself to death. Sometime later, she married a friend of hers who I suspect was also abusive. He died a year ago, leaving her with almost nothing.

Because of differences in our political and spiritual beliefs, my sister and I are not close. She tends to be very defensive in conversation and emails. However, my wife and I have been thinking we'd like to give her something monetarily so she could be more comfortable. It wouldn't be a single gift on our part, or a large amount. We feel it would be best if given on a weekly or monthly basis.

How should I approach my sister about it? There will be no strings attached, just a regularly given amount to do with however she wants. Any thoughts you have would be greatly appreciated. -- NOT CLOSE, BUT CARING

DEAR NOT CLOSE: You are caring, thoughtful and generous. It is a shame that political differences have driven a wedge between you and your sister. Because she "tends to be defensive" when the two of you make contact, ask your attorney to write her a letter explaining that you and your wife are doing some "estate planning" and you wish to give her a certain sum of money each week (or month) to use as she wishes. If she's interested, she should contact the attorney so the arrangements can be made.