DEAR ABBY: I'm a 50-year-old man who has been divorced twice. The last one was two years and eight months ago. Last year, I met a wonderful woman, and we have been dating and building a beautiful relationship together. A month ago, I proposed to her, and she accepted.
Everything is going great, but I'm intimidated by all the men she has been with prior to us. She had a lot of toxic relationships and was sexually active with a lot of different men. When we have sex, she tells me I'm not assertive enough and she wants me to be more aggressive. It makes me feel like she isn't happy with me sexually and she will sooner or later look outside our relationship.
Am I right to feel this way? I don't want to be in a relationship that will end because of our sex life. What should I do? -- FEELING INADEQUATE IN UTAH
DEAR FEELING INADEQUATE: Good sex has everything to do with open communication between the partners. Your lady friend's past isn't a problem unless you make it one. She is trying to tell you what she needs from you. If you are not clear on what that means, ask her to elaborate. If it's not to your liking, be honest, but do not advance this relationship further until you get this worked out.