DEAR ABBY: I lost my husband of 20 years a little over two years ago. Last year, I moved to another state to be close to family. I rented an apartment, and my best friend moved with me. Shortly after, I met a much younger man. He was immediately interested in me. He's sweet, kind and very handsome. It took me months to realize that I'm also interested in him.
We began spending time together, including bedroom fun. He has told me at least twice he loves me, and I told him the same. His demeanor and expressions match his words, and we agreed for the time being to be friends with benefits.
Three months ago, he met someone much closer to his age. But even in front of her he holds me close and tells me he loves me. She has now slapped a ring on his finger and is pushing him for marriage. He keeps saying he's not ready. We feel that until the day he says "I do," it's OK for us to continue our bedroom fun. I'm new to the dating world, and he's my first since my husband passed. Am I doing the right thing? -- LOVING THE FUN IN WASHINGTON
DEAR LOVING: It is extremely difficult to hit a moving target. No one "slaps a ring" on another person's finger unless that person holds still for it. You are NOT doing the right thing by continuing to sleep with this man. In fact, you may be heading for a painful fall. When he marries his fiancee, you will be history once she realizes you are more than a good friend he "loves" but also a former bed partner.