DEAR ABBY: This is in response to "Living a Soap Opera" (Jan. 3), the unhappy woman who is married to an alcoholic. She is flattered by the three younger men she's conversing with online. My experience is that when men say they are in a place where you can't meet them, such as stationed far away in the army or on a ship, and they immediately fall in love with you, it's most likely a scam.

I'm not saying this to hurt her feelings or deflate her ego, but for the purpose of safety. If they start asking for money, beware! Vulnerable people easily get scammed in this way. Sadly, I know this from experience, so I just wanted to give a heads-up. -- THANKFUL I CAUGHT ON

DEAR THANKFUL: Many readers saw red flags in "Living's" letter, with some pointing out that the "in the military" scenario is a common one. "Living" should do as much research as she can on "catfishing" and these kinds of scams, and never send money for any reason. Readers also recommended she attend Al-Anon meetings if she hasn't been, and look for activity groups locally to add some positivity to her life.

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my husband for 10 years. Last year, his brother's baby mama died, and we are stuck raising his brother's 11-year-old son. I told my husband I don't want to do this, but he refuses to listen. My youngest child is 28 years old. I think he is choosing this over our marriage. Advice? -- POST-PARENT IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR POST-PARENT: This should not have been a unilateral decision. Why isn't the boy's father prepared to raise his son? Are there other relatives, such as your in-laws, who could step in? If your husband is dead set on going forward over your objection, make clear in advance that because you have raised your children, HE will be doing the heavy lifting -- cooking, laundry, homework supervision, school conferences, etc., for his nephew -- and not you. That poor boy deserves to be raised in a loving and welcoming home, so please make an effort to be kind to him.

DEAR ABBY: Years ago, my father gave my mother a mink coat and a gold and diamond necklace. Shortly afterward, he left her for another woman. Mom gave me the coat and the necklace because she wouldn't wear them. She passed away several years ago, and now, due to health expenses, I need whatever money the necklace may bring. Am I wrong to sell it? My daughter doesn't want me to, but I don't think she knows the whole story. -- LETTING GO IN VIRGINIA

DEAR LETTING GO: Because you need the money the necklace would bring, by all means sell it. And when you do, explain to your daughter that while she may consider the necklace to be a treasured heirloom from her grandmother, it's really a reminder of a painful betrayal, and necessity dictates that you unload it now.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for six years. The problem is his sister and the emotional hold she seems to have on him. There have been several instances in which she has been disrespectful and invasive where OUR business is concerned.

When I object to my husband about it, his response is either that he's sorry or he acts like he doesn't understand why I find her behavior intrusive. When he talks to her on the phone, it's as if he feels compelled to tell her OUR business, i.e. financial status, which I have told him repeatedly is none of her business, to which he agreed. Yet he recently did it again.

He acts like he's afraid of her -- like she has some type of emotional hold on him. I'm about to blow a gasket. I want to revisit the subject in a way that he will FINALLY understand my point of view and not be so eager to share everything that goes on in our home. Any thoughts? -- PRIVATE PERSON IN ILLINOIS

DEAR PRIVATE: You and your husband were raised in two different kinds of families. His is more open; yours, not so much. I would be curious to know whether your husband divulges this financial information of his own volition, or if his sister quizzes him about it. Because this makes you uncomfortable and you have asked your husband to refrain from doing it, it may take professional mediation to get through to him. Please consider it.

DEAR ABBY: I lived in New York all my life. I moved to Florida a year ago because of my health and to be near my daughter and granddaughters. I have been depressed ever since I got here. I miss New York and my best friend very much. I can't sleep. I sit and cry and I have no motivation to do anything. My daughter has been great to me, but when I try to talk to my husband about how I feel, he doesn't care. He yells and walks away. I'm so confused. I feel I can't move on. Can you give me any advice? -- DISPLACED IN THE SOUTH

DEAR DISPLACED: Your reason for moving to Florida was a rational one. However, feelings are not always rational. Your move has placed you in a situation where the surroundings are unfamiliar and your support system (your best friend) is no longer there for you.

The symptoms you have described are those of a deep depression. Do not allow it to become chronic. Some sessions with a licensed mental health adviser may help you to adjust to your new circumstances so you can explore your options for more social interaction.

P.S. I wish you had asked me about the wisdom of relocating before you did it because I would have advised you to rent for a year to be sure you would be happy in Florida before making it permanent.

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend for 11 years. In all this time he has never once asked me if I'm OK whenever I have gotten hurt. I got used to it, you might say. Well, I recently lost the ability to walk, and ended up in a nursing home for rehabilitation. My boyfriend would come to visit, but would never ask about progress. Furthermore, when I would show him my progress he wouldn't act happy.

Now I'm home, and he treats me like garbage. I don't know why. When I brought it up, he said he doesn't know why. Should I end this relationship so I can find someone who's supportive and who will help me get back to 100%? Or should I stay and work on this relationship? I'm less and less happy every day. -- HURTING IN THE MIDWEST

DEAR HURTING: Your boyfriend of 11 years is not a nurturer. That he doesn't ask if you are hurt or injured shows he lacks empathy. If I had to hazard a guess, I would opine that he treats you like garbage now because he's mad at you for needing his help and support. No amount of working on this will fix what's missing in his character. Unless you want to be treated like this for the rest of your life, get rid of him.

DEAR ABBY: I have a co-worker I share an office with. We are cordial, but not friends. The problem is she chews gum most of the day with her mouth open, and occasionally pops it. The noises she makes are extremely disturbing and they disgust me. I have taken to wearing headphones and listening to music as often as possible to tune out her noises, but it feels a bit rude and isn't practical for all day. I'm on the verge of snapping at her. Is there a kind way I can alert her of the problem without disrupting our working relationship? -- ABOUT TO POP OFF

DEAR POP: Have a congenial chat with this co-worker and ask her to let you know when she's going to pop in a piece of gum so you can pop on your headphones. It beats popping your cork in frustration.

DEAR ABBY: I'm friends with a man in his late 70s, 20 years my senior. I'm concerned about his mobility. He's an independent spirit who lives alone. Lately, I have noticed his strength and balance are diminished, and I know falls are serious for seniors. I have shared my worries with him, but he's proud and won't change his habits. Can you recommend a way I can talk to him constructively about my concerns? -- YOUNGER GUY IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR YOUNGER GUY: You have already tried discussing this with your friend. You might be able to get through to him if you TELL him you have noticed his balance issues, and that there is help for them IF he tells his doctor what's been happening. A physical therapist may be able to help him remedy his problem, but only if he asks.