DEAR ABBY: I am a healthy, single, 76-year-old man. I spend lots of time at a local gym. I met a woman there two years ago, and we went out for coffee. She's a few years younger than I am. She told me she was married, but it was a "complex" marriage. What started as a friendship morphed into an intimate affair.

We have many common interests and spend as much time as we can together, given the circumstances. I know she will never get divorced. I've fallen in love with her, but I have never pressured her to divorce. She has grown children, and she doesn't want to upset them. I get it. There are also financial considerations and entanglements.

Over the last six months, our relationship has become strained. It has turned into a push-pull type of situation. I know it's unhealthy for both of us, but I can't seem to let her go. We've come to the brink several times, but we always have talked through it, and we keep limping along. I don't know how to stop loving her. Even thinking about it causes me great mental distress. I'm looking for suggestions to ease the pain and figure out how to move on. -- LOVING A MARRIED WOMAN IN MAINE

DEAR LOVING: Because thinking about it causes you great mental distress, go cold turkey. You deserve more than to be someone's side dish, but in order to find a more fulfilling relationship, you must let this woman go and allow her to focus on her "complex" marriage. Then, keep yourself busy, join another gym, avoid places where the two of you used to hang out and get back into the swing of life.

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend for six years. He is wonderful. We became engaged last year. His family has been nice to me, but on holidays, I dread bringing a dish or dessert because none of them touch whatever I bring. It's insulting and hurtful. I end up upset and toss it in the trash.

I come from a large family. My parents immigrated from the Philippines, and I look forward to our family holiday celebrations. We all cook, appreciate and enjoy each dish or dessert we bring. I don't know if my fiance's family is afraid to try my cooking even though I make common, simple, American dishes.

He doesn't see the big deal when I raise the subject with him. My sisters all say I should stop bringing anything. Am I too sensitive? Is it worth taking anything to these gatherings? -- HURT COOK IN KENTUCKY

DEAR COOK: Ask whoever is hosting these family get-togethers what the problem may be. It may have nothing to do with your cooking, and more to do with the fact they are set in their ways when it comes to holiday celebrations. I have to say I agree with your sisters. Rather than waste the food, give it to a friend or relative who might enjoy it, keep it for yourself and your fiance, or bring nothing more than a little "host" gift with you. Assorted nuts come to mind.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of four years has been diagnosed with chronic traumatic encephalopathy, or CTE. We're both only 51. Obviously, we face a grim reality. He has already tried once to end our relationship to spare me the inevitable, but I convinced him I'm in it to the bitter end.

Now he's accusing his family (and me) of being interested only in interrogating him about his conversations with others regarding his condition. He has cut off contact for the last few days while he reevaluates all of his relationships. I'm respecting his wishes, which is so hard since we have never gone a day without speaking.

My problem is the relief I feel. There are no meltdowns, no angry outbursts, no having to tiptoe around our conversations. Until now, I didn't realize the pressure I was under. My dilemma now is: If he wishes to continue our relationship, should I? His anger is scaring me, and he's losing himself so quickly. He's not the man I grew to love.

I haven't taken vows, but I don't feel right ducking out when he needs someone the most. I'm confused about what to do. Any helpful advice would be greatly appreciated. -- TORN IN TWO IN THE SOUTH

DEAR TORN: The relationship you shared with your boyfriend is essentially over. You stated that his illness is turning him into someone else. You are not his wife, and you are not responsible for his well-being. Talk with his family and suggest they create a long-term plan for his care. He is going to need one. Because the emotion you are feeling now is primarily one of relief, allow this man to end the relationship if that is what he wants to do.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter-in-law just became a vegetarian and she seems to think pasta, cheese and fruit are all that is needed. She and my son have a 1-year-old and insist she be a vegetarian too. I'm worried because I feel like the protein is missing. There's no effort to calculate protein levels, and now she has decided to eliminate cow's milk, although ice cream and whipped cream seem to be OK. I've encouraged my son to add soy and other beans to the baby's diet. He does all the cooking and seems a bit overwhelmed.

I don't live close, or I would happily prepare some meals for them. Is there anything I can do to encourage them to plan the meals more carefully and get the proper protein-to-carb ratio? I'm worried they may be cheating my grandbaby of the needed building blocks of health. I've kept my mouth shut so far, but I'm really worried. Help! -- HEALTHY GRANDMA IN FLORIDA

DEAR GRANDMA: A vegetarian diet can be a healthy one for little ones. Because you have concerns, encourage your son and daughter-in-law to discuss this with their child's pediatrician. Many books have been written about healthy vegetarian diets, and there is a world of information about it on the internet. Explore the subject for your own peace of mind, and encourage them to do the same.

DEAR ABBY: I found out today that my wife was sexting with a man in another state. His girlfriend sent me a message, which included a series of screenshots. I had confronted my wife regarding this prior to receiving the messages, but she swore she had sent only one topless photo and nothing else. After I reviewed the messages, I saw much more.

She claims "she doesn't remember everything," which I find hard to believe. Worse, they had planned to meet. She claims she didn't, but I saw a message saying that once I went back home (we were visiting her parents), she would stay an extra week with our son so he could "spend more time with the grandparents" -- and she could maneuver to meet up with him. She claims she didn't, but I can't believe her based upon her lying repeatedly about this.

We have a child together, so I don't want to walk away, but I'm deeply hurt and no longer trust her. I know you will recommend marriage counseling, but beyond that process, is there anything I should do? -- LOST IN THE EAST

DEAR LOST: Has your wife always been this way, or is this behavior something new? She seems to be severely allergic to the truth. By all means, attempt marriage counseling if she is willing. However, if she isn't willing, have some counseling without her. And start interviewing attorneys to represent you in what is likely to be a divorce. Without trust, there can be no marriage.

P.S. Save those messages and images the girlfriend sent you because they could come in handy.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 59 and the oldest of four children. When we were kids, our parents were raging alcoholics. They smoked pot and were barely functioning adults. As the oldest, I was tasked with caring for and raising the other three, which I did to protect them from my parents' nonsense.

We were never close to our parents. Our father passed some years ago, which left our mom, who continued to live her booze-filled life. She was a terrible mother. She never protected us from my father's verbal and physical abuse. My brother still has nightmares about him.

Now that our mother has dementia, my siblings make a lot of effort to spend time with her. I refuse to have anything to do with her. My sisters say I should make amends because she won't live forever. I have made my peace with it all, and I'm fine without what I never had.

My siblings think I should "just get over it" because she can't remember anything. Because she can't remember doesn't negate the fact that it happened. I've had a fantastic life and family without her being part of it. I'm truly happy. Am I wrong for standing strong on my decision? -- RESOLUTE IN FLORIDA

DEAR RESOLUTE: Because your mother can no longer remember what a failure she was as a parent doesn't mean you must magically forget. She has reached a point where she is beyond any help you can give her. Now it's time to take care of yourself. If you feel it's better to stand strong on your decision, do not allow yourself to be guilted into doing otherwise.