DEAR ABBY: I am a first-generation Mexican American who married into a Caucasian blended family. My husband, my stepdaughter, "Lisa," and her mother and stepfather make up a beautiful unit. I have no children. Although my family initially ruffled at my interracial marriage, they got with the program -- so much so that we invited Lisa to partake in a coming-of-age rite, the quinceanera. We were excited to update and modify it as much as possible so all sets of parents, grandparents and other family could be involved.

Suddenly, when Lisa was 14 -- a year before the quinceanera, when planning should be ramped up, not down -- my extended family went into radio silence. Despite our attempts to encourage, coach and generate excitement, we were led to believe Lisa had gotten cold feet and was reconsidering the event.

We honored her wishes and planned to find other ways to make her feel special. Two weeks before her 15th birthday, Lisa sent me an invitation for her quinceanera! Abby, words cannot express how heartbroken I feel. I was supposed to teach her about the cultural significance of what she was embarking on. I attended anyway, making sure to shower her with praise and put on a good face. However, in addition to being devastated, I was deeply offended. Of course, because no one bothered to check in, many features of the rite were handled improperly.

I've been holding my tongue for Lisa's sake since I'm afraid this could cause a rift with her mother. What I don't want is for Lisa to think my feelings have anything to do with something she may have done. For the sake of peace, is continued silence better? -- MADRE DE LA QUINCEANERA

DEAR MADRE: Your feelings of hurt and frustration are understandable. But Lisa chose to celebrate her birthday the way she and her mom wanted -- and that was her privilege. Rather than give the girl an authentic quinceanera and an understanding of the meaning of that milestone, it appears her mother and stepfather opted instead for "quinceanera-light." Do not pick a fight over this. Move on. But do continue to share with Lisa everything you have to offer -- your wisdom, your experience and your cultural heritage -- from now on.

DEAR ABBY: I have been in a domestic partnership for more than 30 years. I have suggested couples counseling for the past 10 of them, but my partner has never followed through. I'm willing to give all my assets to her so I won't worry about her future financial needs, but I don't know how to leave her without getting into an ugly war, which will make me feel guilty. Please advise. -- WALKING ON EGGSHELLS

DEAR WALKING: Because this domestic partnership is no longer working, I do have a couple of suggestions. The first is to talk with a licensed mental health professional about the guilt you are feeling. Do this before you decide to "give away the store." My other suggestion is to consult an attorney about what kind of settlement would be fair to both of you before signing over any assets.

DEAR ABBY: I divorced my husband of 12 years. We were together for 16. We had a 4-year-old at the time we separated. To avoid possible loss of the 401(k) or to have to pay him alimony, I didn't ask him for child support. I knew he wasn't able to afford it at the time. He has since gotten a good job but hasn't offered to financially support his daughter. My new fiance has no respect for him because of this.

I have let it go to keep the peace so we can co-parent and my now-9-year-old daughter won't have to see what is going on. This is becoming a problem on holidays because we've always celebrated with her together. She has grown to love that we do this for her. However, my fiance doesn't want to be a part of those special moments. He doesn't think my daughter would mind, and he doesn't want to risk losing his cool in front of her.

This is putting a strain on our relationship. Is it wrong of me to want him to fake it so we can all get along? Or is he wrong to make other plans to avoid these situations? -- FOR HER SAKE IN GEORGIA

DEAR FOR HER SAKE: Because your ex-husband's employment circumstances have improved since the divorce, have a calm, adult conversation with him. Many exes would not have been as understanding as you have been. Because he can now afford it, he should share in the cost of raising his daughter. If you can reach an agreement, have an attorney draw up a document in writing. However, if he isn't willing to step up, contact a lawyer who specializes in family law to discuss what your next steps should be.

Also, with your new engagement, your personal circumstances have changed. Your fiance should not be compelled to interact with your ex if it makes him uncomfortable.

DEAR ABBY: My husband passed away a year ago from a long ordeal with Alzheimer's. Before he died, I invited my soon-to-be retired sister to come live with me. We had been close throughout our lives, and I thought it would be good for both of us.

My problem is, I have casually dated several men since my husband's death. I have welcomed the companionship and the affection I had been missing long before my husband passed. My sister, who is somewhat reclusive, has expressed that I shouldn't be doing this and has gone so far as to say that she doesn't want to live in a "whore house." She also makes derogatory comments about any gentleman I have introduced her to.

I think that, at my age, I should be able to do what I wish in my own home. But because of how she reacts, I no longer have any gentlemen or women friends over because all she does is denigrate all of them. I'm tired of walking on eggshells around her. Are there any options other than asking her to move? -- LIVING AS I WANT IN WASHINGTON

DEAR LIVING: No, there aren't. Your sister should not be ruling your social life. The sooner you help her find another place to live, the healthier it will be for both of you. Start now.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together for six years, married for four. We have had a lot of marriage issues during the last few years, sexually and otherwise. I no longer trust him because of something I found out last year.

I have his email information, and I also was able to see the search history from his phone on the computer. I discovered that he watches a lot of porn. I don't think it's a big deal because I know many men and women do. But I saw he was also watching gay porn and searching for pictures of well-endowed guys. Does this mean my husband is gay and likes men? Or does it just mean he likes different sexual things?

I'm not sure what to do. I don't know if I should approach the subject with him. I don't want him to know I'm snooping around, so how do I ask him about it without telling him how I know? Or should I just let it go? -- KNOWS TOO MUCH IN TEXAS

DEAR KNOWS: Your husband may be bisexual, gay or bi-curious. You wouldn't have checked his phone history if you hadn't felt "something" was wrong. Do not let it go. You will never know the truth unless you ask for it. This does not necessarily have to be a marriage-breaker. However, in case your husband has wandered (off the screen), call your doctor and ask to be tested for STDs.

DEAR ABBY: My mother puts pictures of me on Facebook, usually old ones, and invariably says, "Look how skinny you were!" I'm 60 now, and I don't look skinny anymore. Her comments bother me greatly. Recently, my daughters-in-law said something to her on Facebook about commenting on my weight and how they don't see me as overweight but as a whole and wonderful person.

Now, my mother is angry. She says her feelings are hurt because she thought she was "paying me a compliment." I can't make her understand that you just don't make comments on people's weight, especially on social media. It is unkind. How do I get through to her? -- WEIGHTY ISSUE

DEAR WEIGHTY ISSUE: If you think trying to reason with someone as insensitive as your mother will work, forget it. You can get through to her by telling her in plain English that her backhanded "compliment" hurt YOU, and you don't want it repeated in public OR in private, and if she does it again, you and your family will block her on social media -- if not from your lives. You deserve an apology. You do not owe her one.

DEAR ABBY: My husband is 59. He is on long-term disability because he has been suffering from a major depression for more than a year. He has asked me not to tell our acquaintances or my co-workers about his health issues. My question is, how should I respond when people ask me what my husband does? I don't like to say he's retired because that is not the case. -- QUESTIONED IN QUEBEC, CANADA

DEAR QUESTIONED: If you are asked, tell the questioners that your husband is semi-retired. It's the truth, and no one knows how long it will be until he is again fully employed.