DEAR ABBY: My daughter passed away nine years ago. She was almost 13. My mother never bothered to have a relationship with her when she was alive. But now, on every birthday and anniversary of her passing, Mom posts on Facebook how much she misses her and how "close" they were. Her friends all send messages of love addressed to Mom, with no mention of my husband and me. It hurts and upsets us, but I don't know how -- or if -- I should talk with her about it. Any words of advice? -- GRIEVING MOM IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR GRIEVING MOM: Please accept my deepest sympathy for the loss of your daughter. It is possible now that she is gone, your mother realizes how many opportunities she missed to have a close relationship with her grandchild, and she posts those messages out of guilt. She may also do it for attention, which is sad. You can't stop her from posting what she wants on her page, but you can spare yourself the upset you experience when you see it if you stay away from Facebook on these occasions.