DEAR ABBY: The last two years have been especially tough. I went through a breakup after a four-year relationship, my dog developed cancer and I had to put her to sleep, and I caught COVID and have been dealing with long-haul symptoms ever since. My energy is low because of it, plus I've been depressed with all the events that have happened.

I have two best friends I've known since I was 16. I'm 34 now. I thought they would be there for me through anything. We were close until recently. They no longer invite me to get-togethers, and they hang out and exclude me. I try to stay in contact, but when I talk with them, it doesn't progress from small talk. The few times I have seen them, I stayed positive and didn't discuss my problems.

They have children, and I'm single and childless, which may have caused the divide between us. Being excluded hurts. When I mention it, they say, "You don't have kids. I didn't think you'd want to come." It feels like a slap in the face. I need my friends more than ever right now because I feel very alone through one of the toughest times of my life. How do I mend these friendships? Am I unreasonable for being upset? -- DISAPPOINTED FRIEND IN VIRGINIA

DEAR FRIEND: Discuss your feelings with your friends. They may not be trying to isolate you intentionally. You are in very different phases of your lives right now. They may sincerely believe that being invited to kid parties would bore you, as would their constant chatter about what their precious little ones are doing, saying, etc. (This may seem like blasphemy, but more than a few childless adults feel that way.)

If you explain that you need their emotional support after everything you have been through, they may step forward. Recognize that your friends with kids are a "package deal." If you bond with their kids, it might bring you all closer. However, if that doesn't happen, you will have to summon the energy to find new friends whose lives better align with yours.

DEAR ABBY: I bought my roommate the most beautiful pair of earrings for her birthday. It has been more than a month, and she still hasn't worn them, not even when I once suggested it, although she has frequently worn a second pair of earrings I previously bought her.

I don't have pierced ears, but the earrings in question could be made into an adorable necklace. I think if she doesn't want them, it would be nice for me to get them back since they were expensive and I like them so much myself. How can I politely ask if she plans on ever wearing them, and if not, if I can have them back? Or would it work better if I suggest that we can each get one earring made into a necklace so that we can match? -- BEJEWELED IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR BEJEWELED: Ask your roommate to tell you honestly if she likes the earrings you gave her. Tell her that if she doesn't, you DO like them -- very much -- and would be glad to gift her something else of her choosing. Then suggest that she might return the earrings to you so you can use them to make matching necklaces. I don't think it would be rude, and neither should she.

DEAR ABBY: I'm having a big problem with my boyfriend. We had a baby five months ago, and since then he has changed drastically. He previously had a problem with addiction, but had a handle on it. He told me the baby was powerful motivation. My pregnancy was blissful, and he was attentive and caring.

I know babies are stressful, and ours had colic, so we had many nights filled with screaming. I do most of the work with the baby. I quit my job to be a stay-at-home mom and nurse him. The only time my boyfriend takes care of the baby is for me to take a shower. He has been drinking every night and now he's doing marijuana as well. He is pretty funny when he's high, but I don't trust him to take care of our son when he's that way. He is also addicted to his phone.

When I try to tell him how I feel, he gets defensive. He accuses me of "trying to start problems." He also lies about his addictions. I only recently found out about some of his lies, and now I'm having a hard time believing anything he says. This is not how I wanted my life to be. This is not what I wanted for our baby. I'm trying to decide whether it's better to put up with it or leave. I'd have to get a job and find child care. The thought of my son in daycare makes me sick, but so does being treated this way. Please advise me. -- TROUBLED NEW MOM

DEAR MOM: Face it. Your boyfriend has backslid, and you can no longer trust him to be truthful with you. Your problems will never be resolved if they can't be discussed without contention. Start looking for reliable daycare for the baby and for a job. If you do, you will have a head start on the inevitable. If you and this man separate, he will be legally responsible for contributing to his son's support. It may also be the "jolt" he needs to get straight again.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a queer woman who has a crush on a girl. "Gwen" is kind, outgoing and very intelligent. The poetry she writes is brilliant and sometimes soul-crushing. We are close friends and bonded over our writing. My wife and I have talked openly about my feelings for this girl, and my wife understands why I like her.

The problem is, Gwen is heterosexual. She has said, partly in jest, that it's "oppressive" that she's straight. Without going into too much detail, she has had a bad time with past relationships and is presently single.

I am bound and determined to nip this crush in the bud. I feel telling Gwen about it would be unethical. I know for certain that she's straight, but my brain refuses to shake this "feeling." I'm terrified that it will ruin our friendship. What do I do? -- CRUSHING IN INDIANA

DEAR CRUSHING: Do the same thing that other mature married people do. Step back from something that could threaten not only your relationship with Gwen but also your marriage. Whether Gwen finds her heterosexuality to be "oppressive" (said in jest) or is bi-curious should not affect your creative relationship with her. If you feel you cannot control your emotions, take a step back and see her less often, if at all.

DEAR ABBY: Thirty years ago, I had an affair with "Roger," a married man. We worked together and fell in love. At the time, Roger was married with three children. My husband and I were separated, and I had one son. The 15-year age gap between us didn't matter to me. I admired him. Roger was soft-spoken, intelligent and a gentleman. He was of Christian faith, so when he decided to divorce his wife, his partners held an intervention and bought out his equity in the company, which forced him to move out of state.

Roger was a great person and struggled with the thought of leaving his family. I understood, and we parted ways. I kept informed about him as much as possible over the years but never contacted him, and we lived in different states. When he left, I was pregnant, but I didn't tell him because so much was going on and I didn't want the baby to be a tool. I had a son, reconciled with my husband and never told a soul. Eight years after that, my husband and I divorced.

Although I tried, I never found the courage to reach out to Roger. Five years ago, I visited the state where he lived. I even went to his office, but did not reach out. I recently had several dreams about him and couldn't stop thinking of him. They seemed so real.

I looked Roger up online and found out he died a year ago. I am devastated and feel guilty for not giving my son the opportunity to know his father. Roger has other children. At this point, should I let them know or should I just leave everything alone? My biggest fear is causing pain to his wife. She is a good person and doesn't deserve this. -- HOLDING MANY SECRETS

DEAR HOLDING: What is to be gained by making an announcement at this late date? As you stated, it won't provide your son the opportunity to know his father. And receiving shocking news at this point will only cause Roger's widow pain. However, I would do another internet search to see if you can find out what killed Roger. If it's something that could be passed down to your son, warn him. Otherwise, I'm voting for leaving everything alone.

DEAR ABBY: Over the past two years, a friend I have felt very close to over the years has gone downhill. "Nancy" thinks her neighbors have placed listening devices in her apartment, have entered her place illegally and taken things, and are in general malevolent. I have my own troubles and burdens in my life, and this change in her leaves me feeling frightened, powerless and overwhelmed.

I have stepped back, but a mutual friend tells me Nancy feels abandoned and betrayed by me. I'm afraid if I reach out, I'll be sorry. But on the other hand, I never have said goodbye. Nancy has a therapist now, and I lift her up in prayer a lot. What do you suggest I do, if anything? -- FAILED FRIEND IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR FRIEND: Your prayers have been answered. Nancy is now in the care of a therapist and may improve. If the only reason you would be contacting her is to say goodbye, I think it would be cruel. If you would like to check in from time to time, ask how she's doing and offer some warmth and encouragement, then give her a call.