DEAR ABBY: I dearly love my youngest daughter. She's the only one of my four daughters who has never married. For several months, she has been living with a man who is divorced and the father of two sons.

He's a caring father. The problem is his status as a felon, for possession of drugs and fleeing the police. He served his time -- about a year -- and received commendations during that time. Her sisters refuse to come to my home if he's present and won't invite him for holidays.

My birthday is approaching, and I want her here with her sisters, but she will not come without him. I believe everyone deserves a second chance. How long should it take for her sisters and their husbands to accept him? -- ACCEPTING IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR ACCEPTING: If your daughter's boyfriend lives a clean lifestyle, has found employment and is trying to turn his life around, your other daughters and their husbands should give him the chance to prove himself. That they refuse is sad in light of the fact that it prevents you from enjoying holidays with your entire family. However, I can't change what's happening, and neither can you, so celebrate with this couple separately.

DEAR ABBY: When I was 15, I was fortunate to trail-ride up a mountain with people familiar with the area. We stopped at a homestead to say hello to a man who had lived secluded there for 25 years. That's when I first thought, "I want to be a hermit someday." Twenty-five years ago, I bought some acreage. I spent years hand-clearing and putting in infrastructure, but eventually my husband and I built a small home and studios. We love living in this private space.

My question has to do with the common belief that people need people. After 50 years of being a community-involved person, a shopkeeper in a service business and an event organizer, I'm now happily retired. I love my privacy. I don't need to go anywhere or see almost anyone (aside from family). I will help when asked, rise to the occasion, cheer on, but -- is it OK to love being a hermit?

My huge network of friends seems to accept it. Occasionally, rarely, someone may stop by and I make coffee. I could live this way as long as I live. I finally have my dream. But is it too weird? -- HERMIT IN WASHINGTON

DEAR HERMIT: It's unusual, but I don't think it's "weird." One person's dream may be another person's nightmare; the reverse is also true. Enjoy living your dream, and do not apologize or feel guilty for it.

DEAR ABBY: I am in an awkward situation and need a diplomatic way to handle it. I own a business, and one customer is persistently asking to socialize. I always give an excuse, to no avail. He just continues to offer new dates and options. How do I get across to him that his invitations are not welcome, without jeopardizing our business relationship? -- HELP NEEDED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR HELP: Tell this man you are flattered he wants to take you out, however, you have one hard-and-fast rule, and that rule is never to date a client. Period.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married 11 months. We've been together five years and have lived together for the last three. This is my second marriage and his third. I have put up with a lot from him and overlooked way too much. He isn't affectionate, doesn't kiss me hello or goodbye unless I ask, and doesn't hug me.

He doesn't seem to like sex either, although if I say it, he gets mad at me and says he does. We might have sex twice a month. I would like it more often than that, but I have tolerated his almost nonexistent sex drive. He never initiates. He is very moody and pouts and complains about things not going his way with his job, his life, his 16-year-old daughter (who doesn't like to be with him), etc. Yet he doesn't make positive changes.

Since the wedding, he has stopped sleeping with me in the same bed. He claims I snore and it wakes him up. I don't like the TV on when I'm falling asleep, and he demands to have it on. He won't go with me to visit my family but demands that I go with him on weekends and sometimes during the week to have dinner at his parents'.

I moved an hour and a half away from my children and grandchildren to be with him. When I mention that I would like to have the kids spend the night, he comes up with a million excuses why that isn't a good idea, but when his daughter wants to spend the night, it's perfectly fine.

OMG, as I write this, I'm wondering WHY am I with him? I feel like crying. I do love him, and when I think about not being with him, it feels like my heart is falling out of my chest. What should I do? -- HEARTBROKEN & STUCK IN THE EAST

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: I know what I would do if I were in your situation, but I'm not you. You stated that you gained insight from writing this letter. You appear to be an intelligent person. I suggest you reread your letter several more times, because after you do, I am confident you will know what you need to do. It is possible to love someone and not be compatible.

DEAR ABBY: I am in my 40s and have been divorced for seven years after an awful marriage. I have two daughters who would love for me to meet someone and have the loving relationship I deserve. The problem is, I fell in love with someone after my divorce, and he decided to marry someone else. I have no way of knowing if he is still married. We are not allowed to have contact because of his new wife's jealousy.

My heart is broken. I don't know how to move on from someone I truly felt was my soul mate. How do you tell your heart to move on? It feels impossible. No one compares to him, so I feel like my only option is to settle for less than the best or stay single. -- DOWNHEARTED IN OHIO

DEAR DOWNHEARTED: Either of those options might work for you. But a better one would be to realize that while this man may have been your soul mate, you were not his. Then make a rational decision to move forward with your life. You are in your 40s, and it isn't too late to meet someone with whom you can have a happy life.

DEAR ABBY: While doing some genealogy research during the pandemic, I came across my maternal grandfather's death certificate. I knew he had died at a fairly young age during the Depression. But I was shocked to learn that he had committed suicide by carbon monoxide poisoning in his car in the garage of their home. His little restaurant was not doing well, and money was scarce. I imagine he was desperate and depressed.

My mother had anxiety issues, which may have been the result of her father's suicide or a genetic issue. Should I share this information with my adult children? Could it be helpful to them in any way? My mother didn't share this with me. I have a close relationship with my children, and this secret is troubling me. -- WITHHOLDING INFORMATION

DEAR WITHHOLDING: Your mother didn't share the details of her father's death because, back then, suicide was considered a source of shame. The stress of keeping her father's suicide a secret may have contributed to her anxiety. Fortunately, attitudes are more enlightened today, and the subject of suicide can be discussed.

Because this secret is troubling you, you should definitely bring it out in the open. It might be helpful to your children to know that depression may run in the family.

DEAR ABBY: My husband's brother and his wife visit every six weeks and are guests in our home. My husband is very close to his brother, and I know the time they spend together is a blessing to both of them. My problem is his wife. She drives me crazy. She wants to get into my business and is very outspoken.

My husband's parents and his other brother have passed. Other members of the family have room for them to stay, but I was the only one who opened my home to them. I don't want to cause problems in the family, but she criticizes what we watch on TV and tells us what she prefers to watch. She wants to go out to eat and I have told them, repeatedly, that I don't want to do that. I still take precautions against COVID, but I can't get that through to her.

They have a lot more money than we do, so spending $100 at a restaurant is nothing to them. I'm not comfortable spending money like that. I cook at home, which she rarely does. I dread the weekends when they come. How can I tell her that in my home she should keep her opinions to herself? -- FED UP IN THE SOUTH

DEAR FED UP: In the interest of preserving family harmony, do not confront your sister-in-law. You and your husband should speak to her and his brother and lay down some ground rules about their visits, particularly the excessive spending on restaurants. Divide the TV entertainment time equally between you. If that doesn't suit her, offer to loan her a book or suggest she bring reading material the next time she visits.

Unless you are quarantined, make a point of visiting another equally health-conscious friend so you aren't subjected to this woman's company all the time. You might also "sweetly" suggest that it doesn't seem fair she spends all her time with you during these visits, which deprives the other relatives.