DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married 11 months. We've been together five years and have lived together for the last three. This is my second marriage and his third. I have put up with a lot from him and overlooked way too much. He isn't affectionate, doesn't kiss me hello or goodbye unless I ask, and doesn't hug me.
He doesn't seem to like sex either, although if I say it, he gets mad at me and says he does. We might have sex twice a month. I would like it more often than that, but I have tolerated his almost nonexistent sex drive. He never initiates. He is very moody and pouts and complains about things not going his way with his job, his life, his 16-year-old daughter (who doesn't like to be with him), etc. Yet he doesn't make positive changes.
Since the wedding, he has stopped sleeping with me in the same bed. He claims I snore and it wakes him up. I don't like the TV on when I'm falling asleep, and he demands to have it on. He won't go with me to visit my family but demands that I go with him on weekends and sometimes during the week to have dinner at his parents'.
I moved an hour and a half away from my children and grandchildren to be with him. When I mention that I would like to have the kids spend the night, he comes up with a million excuses why that isn't a good idea, but when his daughter wants to spend the night, it's perfectly fine.
OMG, as I write this, I'm wondering WHY am I with him? I feel like crying. I do love him, and when I think about not being with him, it feels like my heart is falling out of my chest. What should I do? -- HEARTBROKEN & STUCK IN THE EAST
DEAR HEARTBROKEN: I know what I would do if I were in your situation, but I'm not you. You stated that you gained insight from writing this letter. You appear to be an intelligent person. I suggest you reread your letter several more times, because after you do, I am confident you will know what you need to do. It is possible to love someone and not be compatible.