DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married 11 months. We've been together five years and have lived together for the last three. This is my second marriage and his third. I have put up with a lot from him and overlooked way too much. He isn't affectionate, doesn't kiss me hello or goodbye unless I ask, and doesn't hug me.

He doesn't seem to like sex either, although if I say it, he gets mad at me and says he does. We might have sex twice a month. I would like it more often than that, but I have tolerated his almost nonexistent sex drive. He never initiates. He is very moody and pouts and complains about things not going his way with his job, his life, his 16-year-old daughter (who doesn't like to be with him), etc. Yet he doesn't make positive changes.

Since the wedding, he has stopped sleeping with me in the same bed. He claims I snore and it wakes him up. I don't like the TV on when I'm falling asleep, and he demands to have it on. He won't go with me to visit my family but demands that I go with him on weekends and sometimes during the week to have dinner at his parents'.

I moved an hour and a half away from my children and grandchildren to be with him. When I mention that I would like to have the kids spend the night, he comes up with a million excuses why that isn't a good idea, but when his daughter wants to spend the night, it's perfectly fine.

OMG, as I write this, I'm wondering WHY am I with him? I feel like crying. I do love him, and when I think about not being with him, it feels like my heart is falling out of my chest. What should I do? -- HEARTBROKEN & STUCK IN THE EAST

DEAR HEARTBROKEN: I know what I would do if I were in your situation, but I'm not you. You stated that you gained insight from writing this letter. You appear to be an intelligent person. I suggest you reread your letter several more times, because after you do, I am confident you will know what you need to do. It is possible to love someone and not be compatible.

DEAR ABBY: I am in my 40s and have been divorced for seven years after an awful marriage. I have two daughters who would love for me to meet someone and have the loving relationship I deserve. The problem is, I fell in love with someone after my divorce, and he decided to marry someone else. I have no way of knowing if he is still married. We are not allowed to have contact because of his new wife's jealousy.

My heart is broken. I don't know how to move on from someone I truly felt was my soul mate. How do you tell your heart to move on? It feels impossible. No one compares to him, so I feel like my only option is to settle for less than the best or stay single. -- DOWNHEARTED IN OHIO

DEAR DOWNHEARTED: Either of those options might work for you. But a better one would be to realize that while this man may have been your soul mate, you were not his. Then make a rational decision to move forward with your life. You are in your 40s, and it isn't too late to meet someone with whom you can have a happy life.

DEAR ABBY: While doing some genealogy research during the pandemic, I came across my maternal grandfather's death certificate. I knew he had died at a fairly young age during the Depression. But I was shocked to learn that he had committed suicide by carbon monoxide poisoning in his car in the garage of their home. His little restaurant was not doing well, and money was scarce. I imagine he was desperate and depressed.

My mother had anxiety issues, which may have been the result of her father's suicide or a genetic issue. Should I share this information with my adult children? Could it be helpful to them in any way? My mother didn't share this with me. I have a close relationship with my children, and this secret is troubling me. -- WITHHOLDING INFORMATION

DEAR WITHHOLDING: Your mother didn't share the details of her father's death because, back then, suicide was considered a source of shame. The stress of keeping her father's suicide a secret may have contributed to her anxiety. Fortunately, attitudes are more enlightened today, and the subject of suicide can be discussed.

Because this secret is troubling you, you should definitely bring it out in the open. It might be helpful to your children to know that depression may run in the family.

DEAR ABBY: My husband's brother and his wife visit every six weeks and are guests in our home. My husband is very close to his brother, and I know the time they spend together is a blessing to both of them. My problem is his wife. She drives me crazy. She wants to get into my business and is very outspoken.

My husband's parents and his other brother have passed. Other members of the family have room for them to stay, but I was the only one who opened my home to them. I don't want to cause problems in the family, but she criticizes what we watch on TV and tells us what she prefers to watch. She wants to go out to eat and I have told them, repeatedly, that I don't want to do that. I still take precautions against COVID, but I can't get that through to her.

They have a lot more money than we do, so spending $100 at a restaurant is nothing to them. I'm not comfortable spending money like that. I cook at home, which she rarely does. I dread the weekends when they come. How can I tell her that in my home she should keep her opinions to herself? -- FED UP IN THE SOUTH

DEAR FED UP: In the interest of preserving family harmony, do not confront your sister-in-law. You and your husband should speak to her and his brother and lay down some ground rules about their visits, particularly the excessive spending on restaurants. Divide the TV entertainment time equally between you. If that doesn't suit her, offer to loan her a book or suggest she bring reading material the next time she visits.

Unless you are quarantined, make a point of visiting another equally health-conscious friend so you aren't subjected to this woman's company all the time. You might also "sweetly" suggest that it doesn't seem fair she spends all her time with you during these visits, which deprives the other relatives.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married nine years and have four children, ages 5, 3, 2 and 9 months. For the past three years, my husband has been attending a weeklong music festival where he camps with a group of friends, many of whom are single. He met most of them attending this particular fest.

When they are at these shows, they partake in psychedelics and other party drugs. The arena is wild, with scantily clad women and people partying to the fullest. I have explained to him how this bothers me and that I don't believe it's the best environment for a married man and father of four small children. I feel it threatens our marriage. He says I can "come if I want," but that I'd need to find child care for the week (an option we don't have since losing our parents).

In truth, I feel like a burden to him, and he prefers going solo to "get a release" from the everyday responsibilities of our life together. Each year, I ask him not to go, but he does it anyway. I'd greatly appreciate your insight about this. -- LEFT BEHIND IN REAL LIFE

DEAR LEFT BEHIND: You are not a "burden." You are shouldering the entire responsibility of caring for the family while he goes off and indulges himself. If this trip is your husband's one-week escape from reality, is he willing to agree to the same for you? I'm sure you could benefit from a week away from mothering three small children and an infant.

While I would equate your husband's escape to the music festival with the hunting and fishing trips some husbands take each year, the difference is that there are fewer "temptations" on those other outdoor pastimes. If he's a good husband the other 51 weeks of the year, and there is nothing you can do to dissuade him, then dwell on the positive. If he isn't, you may have some serious thinking to do about whether you want to remain in this marriage.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have assisted a local youngster who was abandoned at birth and bounced through foster care. We helped him finish college and start his first job.

Here's the problem: "Samuel" has become engaged to an attractive, professional woman my wife and I both like. However, he just told us she insists upon bringing her parents on the honeymoon. Her parents feel strongly that they should go, even to the extent of arguing with Samuel about it. I have never heard of anything like this. His fiancee is 28 years old. I'm very wary about it. What advice would you give him? -- CROWDED HONEYMOON

DEAR CROWDED: Unless Samuel and his fiancee have been living together for a long time and he's very close to her family, the advice I would give him would be to have plenty of premarital counseling before he marches down the aisle. There's likely more than one issue that should be ironed out before any vows are exchanged, and it would help to avert disagreements that could cause problems after the wedding.