DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married nine years and have four children, ages 5, 3, 2 and 9 months. For the past three years, my husband has been attending a weeklong music festival where he camps with a group of friends, many of whom are single. He met most of them attending this particular fest.

When they are at these shows, they partake in psychedelics and other party drugs. The arena is wild, with scantily clad women and people partying to the fullest. I have explained to him how this bothers me and that I don't believe it's the best environment for a married man and father of four small children. I feel it threatens our marriage. He says I can "come if I want," but that I'd need to find child care for the week (an option we don't have since losing our parents).

In truth, I feel like a burden to him, and he prefers going solo to "get a release" from the everyday responsibilities of our life together. Each year, I ask him not to go, but he does it anyway. I'd greatly appreciate your insight about this. -- LEFT BEHIND IN REAL LIFE

DEAR LEFT BEHIND: You are not a "burden." You are shouldering the entire responsibility of caring for the family while he goes off and indulges himself. If this trip is your husband's one-week escape from reality, is he willing to agree to the same for you? I'm sure you could benefit from a week away from mothering three small children and an infant.

While I would equate your husband's escape to the music festival with the hunting and fishing trips some husbands take each year, the difference is that there are fewer "temptations" on those other outdoor pastimes. If he's a good husband the other 51 weeks of the year, and there is nothing you can do to dissuade him, then dwell on the positive. If he isn't, you may have some serious thinking to do about whether you want to remain in this marriage.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have assisted a local youngster who was abandoned at birth and bounced through foster care. We helped him finish college and start his first job.

Here's the problem: "Samuel" has become engaged to an attractive, professional woman my wife and I both like. However, he just told us she insists upon bringing her parents on the honeymoon. Her parents feel strongly that they should go, even to the extent of arguing with Samuel about it. I have never heard of anything like this. His fiancee is 28 years old. I'm very wary about it. What advice would you give him? -- CROWDED HONEYMOON

DEAR CROWDED: Unless Samuel and his fiancee have been living together for a long time and he's very close to her family, the advice I would give him would be to have plenty of premarital counseling before he marches down the aisle. There's likely more than one issue that should be ironed out before any vows are exchanged, and it would help to avert disagreements that could cause problems after the wedding.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 37 years to an alcoholic. He is not verbally or physically abusive.

I have been online talking to three men. I think one of them is obsessed with me, and they all say they love me. I know this isn't going anywhere, but why am I doing this? I don't know these men at all. I don't see them in person. Two are supposedly on a ship; the other is in the Army. They don't know where I live. I have told them I'm older than they are; I'm 66. (They are 37, 47 and 57.)

I know a person can feel alone in a marriage. That's how I felt for years. Now I just feel like we're roommates. I'd appreciate any insight you might have about why I'm doing this. -- LIVING A SOAP OPERA

DEAR LIVING: I suspect you engage in these online relationships because you are lonely and seeking validation that you aren't receiving from your husband. It is also probably exciting to feel you are attractive to men after living with someone who is uninterested and unresponsive for so many years. It's sad that you have had to resort to emotional affairs to supply what is missing in your marriage.

DEAR ABBY: My brother has a debilitating illness that landed him in the hospital. While he was there, he had a birthday. I called him to say "Happy Birthday," but kept it short because he sounded weak. The next day, I received a scathing text from my sister, fuming that my phone call wasn't long enough. Her text concluded with, "Just remember, you are healthy and he is sick!"

I was crushed at her words, but also confused because she didn't bother to tell me he was hospitalized until 10 days had passed. This kind of thing has gone on for years. I was the one who took care of our elderly parents when my siblings couldn't be bothered. They didn't even take the time to check in on my husband after he lost his sister unexpectedly.

What I am grappling with is this: Is it time to walk away? I don't deserve the hurt they are causing. I suppose it's the age-old question: Would I be better with or without them? Your thoughts, please. -- DEEPLY WOUNDED IN WEST VIRGINIA

DEAR DEEPLY WOUNDED: This appears to be another example of the adage "no good deed goes unpunished." Your question can be answered by simply sitting down and listing the pros and cons of continuing a relationship with your sister. If the "cons" outnumber the "pros," you will know what to do.

DEAR ABBY: I am dating a widow. Her husband passed three years ago, but she still carries a lot of feelings for him. This weekend would have been their wedding anniversary. She has been very moody all this week. Should I give her space this weekend to deal with her emotions by herself? Or should I try to be there for her? I do not want to disrespect her or her husband's memory. -- UNCERTAIN IN TEXAS

DEAR UNCERTAIN: Talk to her. Tell your lady friend you can see that she's not herself. Ask if there is anything you can do to help her, and then listen. If you do, she will tell you what she needs from you, whether it's some space or a willing ear to vent her feelings.

DEAR ABBY: My husband was the love of my life. I lost him to COVID eight months ago. We were together for 20 years. I know without a doubt that my husband loved me, but during our marriage he had several affairs. He was always sorry for his indiscretions and would shower me with gifts and vacations in the aftermath.

I was able to forgive him for all his affairs except the last one. It was with a tramp from our church, and it damn near ended our marriage. In fact, I told him to get out and we were done. He begged me to change my mind and swore this was the last time. I agreed to stay, but things were never the same. We left our church because of my embarrassment about their affair, so we lost our friends.

My problem is, since his passing, I have become very angry all over again. I'm furious at him for this affair and dream about ripping the face off the "Church Lady." How do I let go of this anger so I can grieve the loss of my husband and remember the love and good times we shared instead of this nasty affair? -- MISSING MY MAN IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR MISSING: I'm glad you wrote, because it's important you give yourself the opportunity to vent about your feelings. A constructive way to do that would be to talk with a licensed therapist or with your spiritual adviser. Did you ever discuss your reason for leaving the church you loved with the pastor there? If you didn't, that might be a place to start.

You also mentioned that in leaving, you left behind valued friendships. It may be time to renew them. And please, stop feeling embarrassed because of your husband's transgression. He was weak and he was human, and the sooner you can accept that, the sooner your rage may lessen.

DEAR ABBY: My 80-ish mother has always considered herself an artist, although her paintings are bad at best. She insists on gifting paintings at major events, and also insists that the honorees unwrap the painting in front of guests. At a recent (classy) wedding, she insisted the bride and groom open her gift, although doing it at a wedding isn't usually done.

The bride and groom were angry and embarrassed, as were the bridal party and guests. The painting was atrocious, and my oblivious mother beamed and grinned and took a bow. She does this at most weddings and events, and I'm mortified each time. The recipients are, without exception, visibly uncomfortable and even angry that she attempts to steal their limelight. Mother doesn't notice.

This isn't dementia; she has always been an attention hog and narcissist. I reached the point that I'm going to avoid any events she is attending. I have begged her not to do this, but she claims I'm "just trying to stifle her creativity" and she's a gifted artist. Abby, people are laughing behind her back. How do I stop her from doing this? -- MORTIFIED IN MICHIGAN

DEAR MORTIFIED: Your mother's craving for attention is not a reflection on you. You have tried to warn her. Now it's time to let it go. She isn't going to stop until one of the future recipients reacts by telling her honestly in front of everyone exactly what they think of her "masterpiece."