DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 37 years to an alcoholic. He is not verbally or physically abusive.

I have been online talking to three men. I think one of them is obsessed with me, and they all say they love me. I know this isn't going anywhere, but why am I doing this? I don't know these men at all. I don't see them in person. Two are supposedly on a ship; the other is in the Army. They don't know where I live. I have told them I'm older than they are; I'm 66. (They are 37, 47 and 57.)

I know a person can feel alone in a marriage. That's how I felt for years. Now I just feel like we're roommates. I'd appreciate any insight you might have about why I'm doing this. -- LIVING A SOAP OPERA

DEAR LIVING: I suspect you engage in these online relationships because you are lonely and seeking validation that you aren't receiving from your husband. It is also probably exciting to feel you are attractive to men after living with someone who is uninterested and unresponsive for so many years. It's sad that you have had to resort to emotional affairs to supply what is missing in your marriage.

DEAR ABBY: My brother has a debilitating illness that landed him in the hospital. While he was there, he had a birthday. I called him to say "Happy Birthday," but kept it short because he sounded weak. The next day, I received a scathing text from my sister, fuming that my phone call wasn't long enough. Her text concluded with, "Just remember, you are healthy and he is sick!"

I was crushed at her words, but also confused because she didn't bother to tell me he was hospitalized until 10 days had passed. This kind of thing has gone on for years. I was the one who took care of our elderly parents when my siblings couldn't be bothered. They didn't even take the time to check in on my husband after he lost his sister unexpectedly.

What I am grappling with is this: Is it time to walk away? I don't deserve the hurt they are causing. I suppose it's the age-old question: Would I be better with or without them? Your thoughts, please. -- DEEPLY WOUNDED IN WEST VIRGINIA

DEAR DEEPLY WOUNDED: This appears to be another example of the adage "no good deed goes unpunished." Your question can be answered by simply sitting down and listing the pros and cons of continuing a relationship with your sister. If the "cons" outnumber the "pros," you will know what to do.

DEAR ABBY: I am dating a widow. Her husband passed three years ago, but she still carries a lot of feelings for him. This weekend would have been their wedding anniversary. She has been very moody all this week. Should I give her space this weekend to deal with her emotions by herself? Or should I try to be there for her? I do not want to disrespect her or her husband's memory. -- UNCERTAIN IN TEXAS

DEAR UNCERTAIN: Talk to her. Tell your lady friend you can see that she's not herself. Ask if there is anything you can do to help her, and then listen. If you do, she will tell you what she needs from you, whether it's some space or a willing ear to vent her feelings.

DEAR ABBY: My husband was the love of my life. I lost him to COVID eight months ago. We were together for 20 years. I know without a doubt that my husband loved me, but during our marriage he had several affairs. He was always sorry for his indiscretions and would shower me with gifts and vacations in the aftermath.

I was able to forgive him for all his affairs except the last one. It was with a tramp from our church, and it damn near ended our marriage. In fact, I told him to get out and we were done. He begged me to change my mind and swore this was the last time. I agreed to stay, but things were never the same. We left our church because of my embarrassment about their affair, so we lost our friends.

My problem is, since his passing, I have become very angry all over again. I'm furious at him for this affair and dream about ripping the face off the "Church Lady." How do I let go of this anger so I can grieve the loss of my husband and remember the love and good times we shared instead of this nasty affair? -- MISSING MY MAN IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR MISSING: I'm glad you wrote, because it's important you give yourself the opportunity to vent about your feelings. A constructive way to do that would be to talk with a licensed therapist or with your spiritual adviser. Did you ever discuss your reason for leaving the church you loved with the pastor there? If you didn't, that might be a place to start.

You also mentioned that in leaving, you left behind valued friendships. It may be time to renew them. And please, stop feeling embarrassed because of your husband's transgression. He was weak and he was human, and the sooner you can accept that, the sooner your rage may lessen.

DEAR ABBY: My 80-ish mother has always considered herself an artist, although her paintings are bad at best. She insists on gifting paintings at major events, and also insists that the honorees unwrap the painting in front of guests. At a recent (classy) wedding, she insisted the bride and groom open her gift, although doing it at a wedding isn't usually done.

The bride and groom were angry and embarrassed, as were the bridal party and guests. The painting was atrocious, and my oblivious mother beamed and grinned and took a bow. She does this at most weddings and events, and I'm mortified each time. The recipients are, without exception, visibly uncomfortable and even angry that she attempts to steal their limelight. Mother doesn't notice.

This isn't dementia; she has always been an attention hog and narcissist. I reached the point that I'm going to avoid any events she is attending. I have begged her not to do this, but she claims I'm "just trying to stifle her creativity" and she's a gifted artist. Abby, people are laughing behind her back. How do I stop her from doing this? -- MORTIFIED IN MICHIGAN

DEAR MORTIFIED: Your mother's craving for attention is not a reflection on you. You have tried to warn her. Now it's time to let it go. She isn't going to stop until one of the future recipients reacts by telling her honestly in front of everyone exactly what they think of her "masterpiece."

DEAR READERS: Welcome to 2023! A new year has arrived, and the last one is behind us. As always, this new year brings with it our hopes for a new beginning.

Today presents an opportunity to discard destructive old habits for healthy new ones, and with that in mind, I will share Dear Abby's often-requested list of New Year's Resolutions -- which were adapted by my late mother, Pauline Phillips, from the original credo of Al-Anon:

JUST FOR TODAY: I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once. I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will decide to be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things that I can correct and accept those I cannot.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. I will not be a mental loafer.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, and I'll not speak ill of others. I will improve my appearance, speak softly, and not interrupt when someone else is talking. Just for today, I will refrain from improving anybody but myself.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will do something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll quit. And I will get off the couch and take a brisk walk, even if it's only around the block.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will gather the courage to do what is right and take responsibility for my own actions.

And now, Dear Readers, allow me to share an item that was sent to me by L.J. Bhatia, a reader from New Delhi, India:

DEAR ABBY: This year, no resolutions, only some guidelines. The Holy Vedas say, "Man has subjected himself to thousands of self-inflicted bondages. Wisdom comes to a man who lives according to the true eternal laws of nature."

The prayer of St. Francis (of which there are several versions) contains a powerful message:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

And where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

To be understood, as to understand;

To be loved, as to love;

For it is in giving that we receive,

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

And so, Dear Readers, may 2023 bring with it good health, peace and joy to all of us. -- LOVE, ABBY