DEAR ABBY: My husband is the oldest of five, with four younger adult sisters. Many people ask if he's the "favorite" since he's the firstborn and the only male, but it couldn't be further from the truth. My mother-in-law favors her daughters to the point of almost ignoring my husband.

When it comes to grandchildren, she's obsessed with her daughters' children and pretty much ignores our children's existence. She visits the others 10 times for every one visit to ours. When my husband has spoken to her about it, she says she just "doesn't see it." Our children have been hurt by her more times than I can count. How can we make her see the pain she continually causes our family? -- OUT OF FAVOR IN FLORIDA

DEAR OUT: Because your children have been hurt by Granny's lack of caring "more times than you can count," recognize that the time has come to quit subjecting them to it. Your husband has tried to get through to his mother, but without success. She isn't going to change. Pain is nature's way of telling us to back off. If there are other relatives who are capable of being loving and supportive, guide your children toward them. If you do, you will all be happier.

DEAR ABBY: I have a much younger friend in another state, and we like to keep in touch. I prefer email, as I'm elderly, hard of hearing and look after my husband, who is having cognitive problems. I have no household help. My husband and I are both on restricted medical diets that require cooking most meals from scratch and we both have many medical appointments. Therefore, my free time is limited.

My friend prefers talking on the phone. She lives alone and has tons of free time. I have asked for her cellphone number so I can call her during my morning walk, which is the only free time I have, but she says she gives the number only to her grown children and doctors, and prefers to call me.

Each time I email, she says she "longs to hear my voice" and asks if she can call me. I have explained my reasons to her. How do I answer her repetitive pleas politely? I simply don't have time to chat on the phone. I've wavered from this stance with only one other elderly friend, who doesn't do email. It inconveniences me, but in her case, there is no other choice. -- COMMUNICATION WOES

DEAR WOES: Does this woman not understand your situation? When she tells you she "longs to hear your voice," keep repeating that taking care of your husband has to be your first priority. Explain, again, that the only time you have to talk with her is during your morning walk, so if she really longs to hear your voice, the only way it's going to happen is if she gives you her cellphone number so you can reach out to her when you are available.

TO MY READERS: I wish you all a joyous, meaningful and safe Christmas. Merry Christmas, everyone! -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I was co-host of a celebration where one of our guests, a seemingly very nice young man who is dating a relative, was observed "goosing" half a dozen women while on the dance floor. I don't know if my relative is aware, nor do I know how the recipients felt about it, but I wonder if what he did could be considered sexual assault.

Should I talk to my relative about it? Would it be proactive and protective, or hurtful and intrusive? I had a partner who once suffered from, and is now in recovery from, sexual addiction. I believe in advocating for awareness, recovery, healing, amends, open dialogue and respect for everyone. I don't know what, if any, next steps are appropriate, other than to mind my own business. Can I please have some input? -- WITNESS IN WASHINGTON

DEAR WITNESS: If what your relative's date did was observed by other guests, he must have been the talk of the party. I do think what happened bears discussion with your relative. However, rather than frame it in terms of a sex addiction, it might be more accurate to suggest that he may not know how to handle alcohol.

DEAR ABBY: I've been married to my husband for 38 years. He has three grown children from a first marriage, who were young teens when we married. My husband recently lost a grandson. When I read the obituary, I was shocked. Listed as "Mamaw and Papaw" were "Sara and Steve Smith." Sara was my husband's first wife. There was no mention of me anywhere, not even my name in parentheses next to Steve's.

They mentioned plenty of other people, including spouses, but there was no mention of me or Steve's and my daughter. I really didn't expect to be named, but couldn't they have at least separated the names? It looks like my husband is still married to his ex-wife! I just feel so hurt and angry. Am I being petty? -- SAD IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR SAD: I understand your feelings. But please take into consideration that when there's a death in the family -- particularly the death of a child -- grieving relatives are not always thinking clearly. There might also have been a miscommunication between whoever submitted the obituary and the newspaper employee who published it. Unless there is something you omitted from your letter, the slight may not have been deliberate.

DEAR ABBY: A former friend cheated me on a business deal. Our mutual friends know about it, yet they still associate with him even though I will not attend any social functions with him there. Is it time to move on from this entire group of friends? -- DUPED IN MICHIGAN

DEAR DUPED: One would think that knowing someone was dishonest in their business dealings would be enough reason to step back before they, too, could become victims. Birds of a feather have been known to flock together, so yes, it's time to cultivate some new friends.

DEAR ABBY: I am a senior in high school in a long-distance relationship. My boyfriend, "Grant," and I live two states apart and have visited each other several times. He's four years older than I am. We met three years ago, when Grant was 19 and I was 15, and became friends through banter online. However, he had a girlfriend and we were nothing more than friends. I developed feelings, but he did not reciprocate because I was underage. Later, after he and his girlfriend broke up, I told him how I felt and we became a couple. That was 10 months ago.

Grant asked me to move in with him next year, and I have decided to do so. His college tuition and housing are paid for, and he wants to help in paying mine while we pursue an in-person relationship. Some of my relatives know about my decision, but the two family members I live with do not. They are very serious and old-fashioned in their beliefs and do not respect my relationship in any way. I'm not sure how to tell them about my decision to move 900 miles away to a state where neither Grant nor I have friends or family. I'm looking for any advice possible. -- BIG PLANS IN INDIANA

DEAR BIG PLANS: I'm glad you are seeking advice about this because I have serious reservations about what you are planning. If you move in with Grant (as generous as his offer may be), you will be denying him and yourself an important aspect of the college experience. This is a chance for each of you to complete your education, as well as grow and define yourselves as individuals. Both of you will meet new people and develop interests apart from the other, which is both challenging and healthy. Please do not deny yourself or Grant this important experience.

DEAR ABBY: Our family is worried about my brother. Ever since he met and married his wife, he has changed. There was a "surprise" baby. Access to the baby is limited -- even my parents, who visit only once a year, must schedule an appointment at least two days in advance. My brother now rarely leaves the house. He has begun questioning my parents about their will. He is asking to be bought out of the family business, which he has stated numerous times that he absolutely loves being a part of.

Abby, I know you typically say to stand aside and offer support if asked, but some of his decisions, like wanting to leave the family business, will have serious negative impacts on the whole family. Is there anything we can do? -- CONCERNED BIG BROTHER IN WASHINGTON

DEAR BIG BROTHER: Your brother's wife appears to be very controlling. Is he all right? I ask because you wrote that he has always loved the family business. Because his request to be bought out will affect everyone, all of the principals -- including your brother -- should meet with your attorney as well as your financial adviser to discuss what that will mean for all of you. If this is being caused by your brother's wife, do not allow her to isolate him. Assure him that you will always be there for him regardless where his path may lead.