DEAR ABBY: I am a widowed woman who met a gentleman online two years ago. We met in person and get along really great. Everything seems perfect, but my girlfriends keep telling me they see his profile on numerous dating sites. When I asked him about it, he said he had closed the accounts. Well, close friends say they are concerned because he is on a lot of those sites even now.

I'm at a crossroads with this. I'm not sure if he's casually looking to see if there is anyone better, or if he's stroking his ego with contacts from these dating sites. What should I take away from this? -- PERPLEXED IN FLORIDA

DEAR PERPLEXED: The first thing to pay attention to is that you don't feel you can trust him at his word. Ask some of your vigilant girlfriends to reach out to him on some of those sites they see him on. If they receive a response, end the romance if what you want is an exclusive relationship.

DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law and I used to be close, closer even than I was to my actual sister. Three years ago, we were on a trip and had an argument and didn't speak for more than a year. We have since made up, but our relationship isn't the same.

We are friends with a close group of women and have fun in a group, but anytime I invite her to do something, she will accept and then cancel at the last minute or tell me she can't go when I contact her asking what time we should meet. Her answers to my texts are cold and short.

I'm tired of being constantly hurt by the rejection. Should I just quit trying and accept that this is our new dynamic? -- TO TRY OR NOT TO TRY?

DEAR TRY OR NOT: Your sister-in-law is either extremely rude or still trying to punish you for that argument you had three years ago. It's time to step back and accept the new dynamic, because pushing for more isn't working.

DEAR ABBY: Our daughter is being married soon. She has invited our best friends of 30 years to her wedding, but she refuses to invite their adult daughter because she has treated her parents very disrespectfully throughout the years. (Our friends tolerate this because she's their only child.) I understand my daughter's reasoning, but I told her I'm afraid we will lose their friendship if she does this. Our friends' feelings get hurt very easily. How do we deal with this? -- CONFLICTED MAMA IN TEXAS

DEAR MAMA: If your friendship with this couple depends upon how your daughter treats her daughter, that relationship is already fragile. This is your daughter's special day. I do not think she should be strong-armed into inviting someone because you're afraid your friendship with this couple will end if her daughter isn't included. Deal with this by not involving yourself.

DEAR ABBY: I have been a widow for six months. My late husband was a physically and verbally abusive alcoholic. I spent numerous nights in the ER waiting to be seen and nursed many black eyes throughout the years. During all those years of abuse, which was witnessed by numerous friends and family, I remained faithful and dedicated to him and our marriage, but due to the toxicity of our relationship I was severely depressed and needed antidepressants. I tried many times to get him help and had family interventions, only to end up being threatened with getting all my teeth knocked out.

My dilemma is that one of our friends has become more than just a friend. This man is a kind, caring individual and has done more for me this last couple of weeks than my husband did my entire marriage. I have been so happy recently, but I feel guilty for feeling this way and wonder if I should be ashamed for not grieving longer. I feel maybe I'm doing something wrong by being happy and not having to deal with the abuse. What do you think? -- SURVIVOR IN VIRGINIA

DEAR SURVIVOR: What I think is that you should be grateful you are free of your abusive late husband. I see no reason why you should feel guilty for not grieving the death of that disturbed individual. That said, it's very important you take your time before getting into another exclusive relationship. You are extremely vulnerable now. You need to heal from the years of abuse you experienced, and possibly receive counseling to ensure you don't drift toward the "familiar" or overlook warning signs of another potential abuser.

DEAR ABBY: My husband's brother and his family live out of state. They never invite my husband's parents to spend any holiday with them. In fact, they initiate no visits with them at all or travel to the area where we live. (We live in the same city as my in-laws).

My dilemma: I do not want to have my husband's parents at our house for every holiday dinner we host. My children are getting older (one is married), and we don't see them often. Sometimes I want to get together with just our immediate family, but then I feel guilty if I don't ALWAYS include the in-laws. I think my husband's brother should step up to the plate and invite his parents for at least one holiday. I don't think it's fair to expect us to always have them at our house. What do you think? -- NEEDING A BREAK IN OHIO

DEAR NEEDING: I agree that this pattern -- established heaven knows how long ago -- has placed an unfair burden on you. Your husband is long overdue for a conversation with his brother to see if something can be worked out. However, if your brother-in-law is unwilling, you may have to have your smaller family celebrations the night before or night after the holiday.

DEAR ABBY: I married for the second time two years ago to a younger woman. Seven months after our wedding, she announced she didn't like my dominating personality, which is why she was stepping out of the marriage. She then went back to her deadbeat ex-boyfriend for six months. I went for counseling and have made a major change in how I treat, talk and make decisions with her. I love my wife with all my heart. I want to protect our marriage and move forward from the affair.

Our second anniversary is approaching, but she has been interacting with other men. She takes her daughter with another man on play-dates along with his daughter, and goes to the park with another man for three hours. (He was a single dad having a BBQ.) The third one is a guy she goes with to the park, splash pads, public swimming pool and a water-slide park. They text each other often. One guy is a married stay-at-home dad. He has cheated on his wife before.

Am I wrong to think this is unacceptable for a married woman? Any advice would be absolutely appreciated. -- BEWILDERED IN CANADA

DEAR BEWILDERED: It's time for joint counseling, with a new therapist for you and your wife. I can't think of a better way to drive her away than continuing to obsess about what she "may" be doing on these outings. It is hard to envision her carrying on flagrantly with a child in tow; the activities you describe seem distinctly family-oriented to me. It appears you still expect her to conform to your idea of how a married woman "should" behave, or you're having serious trust issues. More counseling for you may be in order if your marriage is going to last.

DEAR ABBY: I've been with my boyfriend for four years. Over those years, he has acquired an addiction to porn. He refuses to admit he is addicted and insists that it's perfectly normal. I'm usually not one to judge, but it has reached the point that it's affecting our sex life.

I can't remember the last time we had a moment to ourselves that didn't start with him spending all day watching porn. I tried getting involved with it myself hoping we'd find a common interest we could bond over, but he doesn't seem to want me involved at all.

I feel like I'm being cheated on, as silly as that sounds. I'm struggling with my body image because of this. I feel like I'm never going to be adequate enough for him to focus on our sex life. How do I compete with porn? -- SHUT OUT IN VIRGINIA

DEAR SHUT OUT: You don't. Tell your boyfriend that his reliance on porn is negatively affecting your self-esteem and you are no longer willing to be involved with him because of it. If he's in love with you and willing to work on the problem, there are resources available to him. (Twelve-step programs come immediately to mind.) If he isn't, however, accept that this has nothing to do with your level of attractiveness, and move on.