DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Ashton," is bisexual. After we have fights, he takes "breaks" and uses them to be with other men. He has several friends who are bisexual or transgender. He is presently in the closet about his status because he comes from a Christian family and lives in a highly conservative area.
He was still maintaining contact last year with his on-again, off-again boyfriend, "Will," even though he swore nothing was going on between them. He always rushed back to Will or kept him on the side during his other relationships as well. I almost broke up with him four months ago over his hanging out with Will.
Now he wants his friend "Cody," who is a transgender male, to stay with him for several days for an upcoming concert there. I'm in the process of moving to his area, but I don't trust him not to have sexual relations outside of ours. My straight male friends have warned me not to trust him.
Should I break up with him because I don't feel he respects his female partners as much as he does his male ones? It also seems like he has a double standard with sharing phone details. I share mine openly, but he isn't as open with his, which leads me to think he's still got someone else on the side. Yet he wants me to see only him. Help! -- FRUSTRATED GIRL IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR FRUSTRATED: Because someone identifies as bisexual does not mean the person is incapable of being monogamous. Ashton, however, seems to use these "breaks" to consort solely with other males. He may be using you to hide his true orientation from his Christian family. None of this bodes well for your relationship. Listen to your friends. They may have more insight into Ashton's character than you do.
P.S. People who hide their phones often have more going on than they are comfortable revealing. Consider this another red flag, and reconsider both the move and your romance with him.