DEAR ABBY: I got pregnant at 15 and had my oldest daughter at 16. I met my husband at 18, and went on to have four more daughters. I have been with him for more than 30 years (I just turned 49).

My girls are living their own lives now. The thing is, now that I'm alone with my husband, I have come to discover that we have nothing in common. I want to leave him, but I have no money, no car and no job. I have become someone I never thought I would become -- alone with no life!

My husband ignores me and drinks a lot. When we visit family, it's a free-for-all drunk fest for him. I just don't have the energy at my age to deal with a drunk. I dealt all my life with an alcoholic father and I don't want to do it anymore. How do I begin to rebuild my life and start over? I really need to do this for myself. -- AT A CROSSROADS IN OHIO

DEAR AT A CROSSROADS: I agree that rebuilding your life is something you need to do for yourself. The surest way to accomplish it would be to get a job. This may eventually equip you to survive on your own. If you need transportation, ask your daughters for help, or take public transportation.

If you prefer not to attend "family" gatherings, have your husband go alone. Your father's alcoholism may have contributed to the fact that you married someone with an alcohol problem, thinking it was "normal." If that's the case, consider finding a nearby chapter of Al-Anon (al-anon.org/info) or Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families (adultchildren.org) and attend some of the meetings. They are sometimes held online, so you could do it on a computer, if necessary. I wish you luck on your journey.

DEAR ABBY: I am a widow with three serious illnesses, one of which is potentially deadly. I hesitate to confide in some of my friends because the majority of them go into a litany of their illnesses. For the most part, their ailments are common and require just a small change in diet or perhaps losing some weight. What makes it uncomfortable for me is they act like they are in a life-threatening situation, which they aren't.

I find it increasingly difficult to empathize with their common colds, achy joints, etc. How can I explain to these folks how much they upset me? For the most part, they are good people, just very self-centered. -- CHALLENGED IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR CHALLENGED: It may be unrealistic to expect friends who don't know about your serious medical conditions to empathize with you or stop complaining about their aches and pains. Rather than say their complaints are annoying, tell them the truth about what's going on with you. After that, try to remember that regardless of how minor, every person's health challenges are important to them, even if on the grand scale of things they don't seem that way to you.

DEAR ABBY: I have had an older man as a roommate for two months now. He's very kind and intelligent. He also has dementia. I didn't realize it when he moved in. He's estranged from his family, although I know of a few people he does talk to on the phone.

As his condition worsens, so does his memory and his ability to understand simple explanations. I'm afraid that, as this continues, I'll be obligated to take care of him. I am not capable of doing it, nor do I desire to. I don't know how to handle this because I have asked him previously whom I should contact "in case of emergency" and got no reply. Help, please. -- UNEQUIPPED IN FLORIDA

DEAR UNEQUIPPED: Initiating a conversation with your roommate about your concerns is critical, particularly while he is in early stages of dementia. Be open and honest about your capabilities and find out what his plans are for long-term care as his dementia progresses. Ask if his friends or family know about his dementia and if they are part of his care team.

Stress to him the importance of making future care plans now, while he has a voice and control over these decisions. As his dementia progresses, these decisions will become increasingly difficult, and left undone, others might have to make decisions for him. While it's important for you to press for answers to these important questions, try to be supportive. Your roommate may be having trouble coming to grips with his dementia. Fear, anxiety or even anger may be preventing him from taking steps to address it.

The Alzheimer's Association website (alz.org) is a valuable resource for people living with the disease, as well as for their families and care partners. Those in early stages of the disease can find help there, including access to local support groups and care resources. It also has a free 24/7 Helpline (1-800-272-3900) that provides reliable information and guidance for all who need support navigating their personal experiences with Alzheimer's or another dementia.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 32 years. Back in the mid-1990s, my husband cheated on me. A little over a year ago the woman he cheated with reached out to me via social media to apologize. She said she is now sober, has found religion and is trying to mend her wrongdoings. I never responded to her because I didn't know what to say. I don't hate her, but in my mind, if I say I forgive you, it's like I'm agreeing with what she did -- and I don't. How do you tell someone you don't forgive them? -- APOLOGY NOT ACCEPTED

DEAR A.N.A.: Nothing requires you to say anything to the woman. However, if you decide to break your silence, the comment you made in your letter, "I don't hate you, but in my mind, if I say I forgive you, it's like I'm agreeing with what you did -- and I don't," would suffice. It's succinct, polite and conveys your feelings accurately. But don't hold onto the grudge, because it is not healthy -- for you.

DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, at a national conference, I bumped into a woman I had dated decades ago. We started dating again, even though she lives in Phoenix and I live in the Midwest. The geographical distance between us is challenging, but we made it work through phone calls and traveling to see each other at least once a month.

It was working so well that we began discussing my relocating to Arizona so we could move in together. I thought that was our future until earlier this week. My lady friend just told me she wants to reduce the number of phone calls we've been having each week to three or less. She explained she needs more time to herself to deal with "challenges" she has been facing, and everything is fine with our relationship.

I was shocked because we had been talking two or more times a day as well as exchanging text messages. We have both faced significant challenges during our relationship and we had used our talks to figure out how to deal with them.

I said I wanted to talk more than three times a week. She says this won't work. She wants less contact -- much less. She also canceled our next in-person get-together. I feel like our relationship is heading for the rocks. When I expressed this, my girlfriend continued to insist everything is "fine" and we could have the same relationship with less contact. I disagree. What do you think? -- COMPLETELY THROWN

DEAR THROWN: Because this lady didn't elaborate on what challenges she's facing, I think the abrupt change in her behavior may be her way of trying to let you down easy. I can't guess what may have caused her change of heart, but please accept my sympathy.

DEAR ABBY: A family member does beautiful scrapbooks year-round. Her work is remarkable, and everyone enjoys looking at the finished product. I have become the photographer. Here is my dilemma: I know not everyone likes to have his or her picture taken. How do I approach this? I think it would be awkward to poll everyone about whether it's OK before snapping their photos. A group shot at the end of, say, Christmas Day seems rather understated. Too often, I feel like the paparazzi. What are your thoughts? -- SHUTTERBUG IN COLORADO

DEAR SHUTTERBUG: My "thought" is that you are very considerate. In addition, I think that before snapping a picture it's polite to ask the subjects if they would like to be included in the shot, or take a moment to put on some lipstick, a hat or pose with their "better side" to the camera. (It's also a surefire way for anyone in witness protection to move out of range of the camera.)

DEAR READERS: Happy Father's Day to fathers everywhere -- birth fathers, stepfathers, adoptive and foster fathers, grandfathers and all of those caring men who mentor children and fill the role of absent dads.

P.S. Also, a big shout-out to dual-role moms. I applaud you all -- today and every day. -- LOVE, ABBY