DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Paul," and I have been together for 18 months. We are both divorced and each have two children. Mine are in college. His are in elementary and middle school. They stay overnight with him on the weekends.

When they are there, I go home and sleep at my place. Over the last few months, Paul has asked me to stay the night when they are there; however, he wants me to sleep on the couch because they sleep in the bed with him. A few weeks ago, he announced, "I'm going to talk to them about you and me sleeping in my bed together and see if they are OK with that." Since then, I have heard nothing, so I continue going to my own place at night.

My questions are: Is it acceptable for children to sleep in the same bed with their parent? And, is it acceptable for children to decide if Paul and I sleep together? -- CONFUSED IN KANSAS

DEAR CONFUSED: The answers to your questions are "Yes," and "No." In some cultures, it is common for families to share the same sleeping accommodations, including a family bed. In our culture, it is less common but not unheard of, particularly with kids much younger than his.

As to your second question, Paul may be uncomfortable raising the subject with his children, or they may have told him they like the status quo and he hasn't communicated that to you. But they are not the ones who should make that decision. As the adult in the family, that privilege should be his. And after 18 months together, you should be comfortable enough to ask him anything.

DEAR ABBY: Twenty years ago, I had a falling-out with my siblings and my mother. I was in an emotionally and physically abusive marriage. They wanted me to leave, but after seven years of his brainwashing, I was convinced that I was worthless, that no one cared about me but him and that I would end up on the street alone and unable to live without him. My siblings invited me out to visit them and proceeded to browbeat me into leaving him. After three nights of six-hour sessions of being berated and hearing I was a terrible mother for staying with him, it was almost a relief to go home to my husband. At least there I expected it.

Long story short, I haven't spoken to my family in 20 years. I escaped that marriage five years ago, and my mother and I slowly began rebuilding a relationship over Facebook -- I'm in Michigan, and she's in New York. Three months ago, she passed away.

One of my siblings unfriended me and my daughter from my mother's Facebook before they posted that she passed away. I heard the news from one of my friends who was also FB friends with my mother. Someone I know is saying I should reach out to my siblings and try to rebuild a relationship. What are your thoughts? -- LIKE AN ONLY CHILD

DEAR LIKE: That your siblings would unfriend you and your daughter from your mother's Facebook page so you wouldn't know she was gone was cruel, unnecessary and shameful. If you want to reach out to your siblings, by all means do so, but before you do that, please talk with a licensed mental health professional or your religious adviser, if you have one. You have suffered much pain and rejection from your abusive husband, and you may encounter more from your siblings, so before you approach them, be prepared.

DEAR ABBY: My husband died recently. I have been approached by a much younger man for a sexual relationship. I want to, but I feel he is too young. I'm 61, and he's 37, the same age as my son. We have been friends for years, and I am unsure if I should change the relationship. I see no future in it except occasional sex. Should I drop it or consider the possibilities? -- THINKING ABOUT IT IN OHIO

DEAR THINKING: Before dropping it, carefully consider the "possibilities." At 37, this person is not a kid, he's an adult. Something like this happened in my family years ago. A close friend of a relative's son announced he had fallen in love with her. It took her a little while to adjust her thinking, but the result was a very happy marriage.

DEAR ABBY: My sister "Rebecca" is in her early 40s and has been blind for more than 20 years. She has low self-esteem and gets depressed when she can't do things. Right now she wants to babysit a 1-year-old boy in our family by herself. Rebecca's husband is legally blind, closets himself in his home office all day and ignores everything around him.

Although my sister is confident she could take care of the baby, the boy's parents and I are not comfortable with the idea. Rebecca often runs into things in her own house, can't find something she has dropped -- and sometimes even has difficulty understanding what is going on around her.

When we mention these problems or the fact that the baby is fast and rambunctious, she gets angry and teary-eyed and won't listen to reason. How can we help her to understand we can't leave the baby alone with her? -- OUT OF THE QUESTION

DEAR OUT: You have already tried to get through to someone who refuses to accept reality. There is no reason why Rebecca can't "assist" in babysitting the child, but she should not attempt to do it alone. It's important that you and the child's parents stick to your guns. Do what is best for the little one. And if that means making other arrangements for a babysitter, so be it.

DEAR ABBY: I recently received a text from my nephew asking that I cosign on a loan for a car. Abby, I am estranged from this person. I have met him only a handful of times, and I haven't seen him in years. I was, as you can imagine, put off by his request.

I responded that I couldn't cosign because it would make me legally responsible for the debt. My entitled nephew's response was dead silence, not an "I understand," not an "OK, sorry." Nothing! I never heard from him again. Am I wrong for feeling offended that he asked? -- TOO SMART FOR THAT

DEAR TOO SMART: Stop wasting your time preoccupying yourself with thoughts of this relative. He likely asked you to cosign because no one else in the family would. His attitude was, "Nothing ventured, nothing gained." You did the right thing to refuse to be used. There is no need to dwell on it further.

DEAR ABBY: I was an alcoholic. I have been sober since 1994. I live with my elderly aunt and assist her while working in ministry. Her son lives with us and is, basically, a hopeless alcoholic. He drinks all day and lies on the couch. I know that if this continues, it will be fatal.

We have tried to get him into two or three rehabs, and I can't count how many times he's been to the hospital for detox. After his last stint in rehab, he came back and was drinking again three days later. Because I don't know what else to do, I have committed myself to saying, "Well, if he wants to drink himself to death, there's nothing I can do."

Am I doing the right thing or is there something else I can try? I mean, it's not my house, so I can't throw him out. I don't even broach the subject with my aunt anymore. -- CONFLICTED IN ILLINOIS

DEAR CONFLICTED: Congratulations for hanging onto your sobriety. I can only imagine the stress you are experiencing watching your cousin drink himself to death. If at all possible, it might be beneficial to you if you found other living arrangements while assisting your aunt.

Your aunt -- not you -- as well-meaning as she may be, is her son's enabler. Her passivity is partly responsible for what's happening to her son, not you. You have done everything you can, and you cannot save him from himself. Your aunt may need counseling to help her break the unhealthy pattern that has been set with her son. Please suggest this to her. I hope she is receptive.

DEAR ABBY: My friend has this habit of phoning me while she is walking her dog or driving somewhere. To put it bluntly, she calls when she is otherwise engaged and biding her time until she finishes the walk or reaches her destination.

When she walks "Gonzo," I have to contend with his barking, her admonishing Gonzo for pulling on the leash, or the wind, which makes it difficult to hear her. When she's driving, the connection is often iffy. She has done this for years, but recently it has started to seriously annoy me. I wish she would call when she's sitting in a quiet room and not preoccupied with something else. Is that too much to ask? How can I politely tell her this? -- TICKED OFF IN TEXAS

DEAR TICKED OFF: It shouldn't be too hard. "Politely" tell her you would prefer she NOT call you while she's walking Gonzo or driving -- particularly the latter because it's dangerous and you would hate to have her miss her exit or get into an accident because she was distracted. THEN tell her you prefer talking with her when she's in a place that's safe to talk and she's not distracted. If she persists after that, ask when she'll be home, suggest you talk "later" and hang up.