DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are expecting our second child. Our first pregnancy ended in miscarriage, so we were overjoyed to find out I was pregnant again, this time with a little girl. We've already given her the name "Mandy."
Everything was going well until a month ago. My mother-in-law came over for her birthday to have cake. I hadn't seen her all weekend. Because our relationship isn't as good as it could be, I didn't ask her why. Two days later she announced to my husband she had COVID and we should get tested, too. She had spent that entire weekend out, running around, seeing people and going places. Then she came to our home where I was 21 weeks pregnant and doing everything to keep this pregnancy.
I became violently ill for two weeks and, although I recovered, I spent three nights in the hospital because our baby is now suffering from my being sick. I am now on bed rest. We have no option other than getting through day by day to help buy Mandy more time inside to grow. I am struggling with anger and resentment toward my MIL, but I'm trying to stay positive and avoid the toxicity so that Mandy has a fighting chance. When all this settles down, how do I even begin to address this with my MIL? -- INCENSED IN THE EAST
DEAR INCENSED: You are doing the right thing now by focusing on your little girl. How you deal with this in the future should be guided by the answer to this question: When your mother-in-law learned you had gotten sick because she exposed you, did she apologize?
If she knew she "had a little something" and came over anyway, let that guide you and your husband in your interactions with her in the future because her judgment is atrocious. If not, try to forgive her for this awful scare and let her build bridges if she's capable of it.