DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend and I have gotten engaged and we are being married in a year or so. Everything about him is wonderful, and I'm excited to share my life with him -- except for one worry. I have been an animal lover my entire life. After living with him this past year with my two cats, I have slowly come to the realization that he absolutely loathes the idea of pets.
Besides my inability to understand this (he has never had a bad past experience with an animal), it makes me question his compassion (or lack thereof) for all things living. Should this be a red flag, worthy of reconsidering our engagement? -- CRITTER LOVER IN NEW ENGLAND
DEAR LOVER: Perhaps. Not everyone is an animal lover, but it's usually because they haven't had pets or been exposed to them. This does not mean they lack compassion for all things living. It simply means they haven't interacted with different species.
However, you say your fiance absolutely "loathes" pets. If you plan to have animals in your household in the future, you must have some serious discussions about it and lay your cards on the table. If you don't deal with this now, it could be a deal-breaker in the future.