DEAR ABBY: I am blessed to have a wonderfully supportive family, which includes my and my husband's siblings. I was recently scheduled for major abdominal surgery. For the weeks leading up to it, I quietly went about preparing the house and putting systems in place so I could be absent, but otherwise tried not to dwell on the upcoming unpleasantness.

Most of my support people checked in occasionally to see how I was doing or if I needed anything. One sister-in-law, however, has been over-the-top. She sends cards, texts, flowers and calls. I appreciate her support, but it's too much. The cards always say the same thing -- "heal gently" and "these are the good old days of medicine." In the weeks leading up to surgery and afterward, I have received nearly a dozen cards, plus her texts, etc.

Is there a nice way to let her know it is too much and I'm tired? My body reminds me every day that I'm healing, but slowly. I don't want the attention and the reminder that I'm not yet where I'd like to be. Please let me know if there's a polite, graceful way to make it STOP! -- PROGRESSING IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR PROGRESSING: A "nice" way to phrase it might be to say, "Honey, I am grateful for all the support you've been giving me, but the surgery is behind me now, and I am slowly regaining my strength. Please don't send me any more get-well cards -- the dozen you have sent have already worked their magic."

DEAR ABBY: I am writing because I'm concerned about my husband's drinking. We have been married 35 years and we love each other very much. We are both retired. He drinks at least a six-pack a day. Although he doesn't appear to be intoxicated, I know this has to mean he is an alcoholic. Because he doesn't drink and drive, he thinks this is fine. Besides being unhealthy and giving him a huge beer gut, it's expensive. Your thoughts, please. -- CONCERNED WIFE IN GEORGIA

DEAR WIFE: Schedule your and your husband's "annual medical checkups," regardless of how long they may have been delayed. Before you go in, the doctor should be informed that your beloved hubby imbibes a six-pack per day -- at the very least. Whether this will motivate the doctor to encourage him to quit or cut back is anybody's guess, but I am hopeful.

You could benefit from attending some Al-Anon meetings. Al-Anon is an offshoot of Alcoholics Anonymous that helps the families and friends of individuals who have an alcohol problem. I am sure if you do, you will not only find it enlightening, but also beneficial for the practical advice and emotional support it offers. Go to al-anon.org/info for more information.

DEAR READERS: This is my annual reminder for all of you who live where daylight saving time is observed: Don't forget to turn your clocks forward one hour tonight at bedtime. Daylight saving time begins at 2 a.m. tomorrow. I love this ritual because it signals the coming of spring and with it longer, brighter days and warmer weather. For me, it's a mood elevator and an energizer. May spring bring good things your way! -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I refer to my husband as "the most single married man" I know. He turns off the lights, turns off the heat and turns off the TV while I'm still watching or still plan on being home.

His latest "single" thing is that he planned a birthday dinner out with our son and other family members. Guess what? I found out about it from the birthday boy. We have been married almost 50 years. All our children are in their 40s.

I have spoken to him numerous times about his forgetting my presence in a room, but I have never been excluded from a family birthday until now. I am thinking of writing a book titled, "The Most Single Married Man I Know." What should I be doing differently? -- FORGOTTEN WOMAN IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR FORGOTTEN: If this has been going on since you and your husband were married, accept that he is someone who is unusually centered on himself. If this is something relatively recent, he may need to be physically and neurologically evaluated by his physician.

If there is nothing "wrong" with him, recognize it's time to fend for yourself. Remember to monitor the thermostat, keep a flashlight handy and be prepared to explore activities you enjoy in case your husband "forgets" to include you in the future.

DEAR ABBY: My best friend's father recently passed away. A memorial has been planned on the day of a wedding I had agreed to attend with my girlfriend. In this situation involving two significant one-time life events, is it more courteous to defer to the living or the dead? -- UNSURE IN SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA

DEAR UNSURE: Much depends upon your relationship with both of these people. Because your best friend may need emotional support during this sad time, I am inclined to suggest that you go to the memorial -- and have your girlfriend attend the wedding so you will be represented. If you explain the circumstances to the person who sent the wedding invitation, there should be no hurt feelings.

DEAR ABBY: I recently received a board game as a present. The problem is that I don't like the game. I live alone on disability with a very limited income and don't have anyone to play it with me anyway.

When I mentioned to the giver that I was thinking of returning it, they almost burst into tears. The giver is a relative of a close friend and lives with her. I really could use the money. What should I do? -- WONDERING IN WISCONSIN

DEAR WONDERING: I have said this before, and it's worth repeating: Once a gift is given, it belongs to the recipient to do with as they please. Because you don't like the game, have no one to play it with and need the money, return the darn thing. Your mistake was announcing your intention to the giver.

DEAR ABBY: Our house burned down a year ago, and we lost everything. My husband, "Jeff," tried desperately to get to our 2-year-old daughter, but she perished in the fire. I managed to get our 3-year-old son out while he was trying to save our daughter. Jeff ended up in a burn unit on a ventilator for nine days because he burned his lungs. When he was released from the hospital, things got worse.

We lived with my mom and stepdad for a bit until we found a place, but as soon as Jeff got home, he started hitting me and calling me a cheating slut. We have been together 20 years, and I have been faithful. If I go to the store or to run errands, he gets mad at me for being gone a little too long. If I try to explain what held me up, it's automatically because I'm cheating, but Jeff feels he can leave and be gone for hours, and it's OK for him.

I love him, but I can't take it anymore. When our son acts out and starts being mean to me, Jeff tells him to respect me, but I think to myself, "How can you tell him to respect me when you don't?" Abby, please help me. -- SO LOST IN THE EAST

DEAR SO LOST: The fire and tragic death of your daughter has done more damage to your husband than sear his lungs. It has also taken an emotional toll. It is important that you no longer allow him to take out his anger and frustration with himself on you.

If you have any power at all in your relationship, insist he seek help from a licensed mental health professional. If he refuses, you cannot remain married to him because his physical and emotional abuse may continue to escalate, and seeing it will affect your son.

Have an escape plan in place before you confront him. A safe way to formulate one would be to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline. The toll-free number is 800-799-7233 and the website is thehotline.org. Do it now.

DEAR ABBY: My high school friend returns to our hometown once or twice a year. Her last several visits were exhausting. She talked about herself for hours without asking one question about my life. She objectifies men and calls people weak for expressing their emotions.

Our friendship has been a long one. I went to her wedding and did the flowers for her dad's funeral. But the more I understand myself, the more I see how toxic she is for me. I have reached the hard realization that I no longer want to be around her. I don't like who she is or how she makes me feel.

I would like us to simply drift apart, but she can be a bully. When I have tried to be unavailable, she has bullied me into seeing her anyway. My partner says I need to break up with her, but I don't want to hurt her or have a confrontation. How can I gracefully exit this relationship? -- STRESSED IN THE WEST

DEAR STRESSED: There may not be a graceful way to exit from a relationship with a bully. Ask yourself which would be worse: telling her exactly what you have written to me, or allowing yourself to be steamrollered into another exhausting and frustrating encounter with her. Once you have the answer to that question, you will know exactly what to do, which may start with blocking her number.