DEAR ABBY: My son just withdrew from college with a medical leave due to anxiety and depression. My husband and I support him fully and are helping him receive the help he needs. Of course, we are very concerned.
The problem is my mother. When I was young and had similar problems, she told me: "It's a sin for someone who has as much going for her as you do to be depressed." (This was especially strange since she's not religious.) She has been similarly dismissive of my feelings during other bouts of depression. She is generous with money, gifts, cooking, etc., but she cannot understand that being close with someone has more to do with emotional trust than simply time spent together.
I don't know how to handle this current situation with my son. She wants to be involved, but I have a strong aversion to her being around because I don't know what she'll say. I need to protect my son and myself, but I know she'll feel hurt if I leave her out. What should I do? -- MENTAL HEALTH ADVOCATE
DEAR ADVOCATE: Your mother's feelings should not be a priority right now. I'm recommending you "Grandma-proof" your son to the extent you can, by explaining to him that "Nana" has some old-fashioned, outdated ideas about depression, an illness that can run in families and appears to run in yours.
There are far more effective interventions for him now than were available for you back then. Medications and sometimes talk therapy can put him in a more positive frame of mind, and I'm glad you can help him get the professional help he needs.