DEAR ABBY: I am one of six adult siblings. Our youngest brother, "Clark," died of cancer five years ago. He was my best friend. As kids, we did everything together, and we remained close as we got older. As he was dying, Clark asked me to keep his wife, "Liz," and his children in the family. I have tried my best.

Every year, I have a large family Christmas party. Liz and her children attend and seem to have a good time. I call or text her monthly, but I rarely receive a reply. She did text me happy birthday. I was OK with this until I heard from my nephew (Clark's son) that there was a memorial service for him. When I asked him who was there, he said everybody. It really hurt because I wasn't informed, nor were any of my siblings.

I want to respect Clark's wishes, but even before this, Liz didn't seem to respect my nuclear family. I don't know what to do going forward because I have such sad and angry feelings over not being invited to his memorial. -- CONFLICTED SIS IN THE EAST

DEAR SIS: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your brother. What you should do is call your former sister-in-law and ask her why you and your siblings were excluded from the memorial, which is a shocking oversight. Then, if her apology is not satisfactory, consider yourself relieved of that deathbed promise, which clearly hasn't been appreciated.

DEAR ABBY: I was recently in a restaurant with a friend who is deaf. (I can hear.) We were using American Sign Language to communicate. A group walked past us, saw we were using sign language and assumed neither of us could hear. One of them told her friends we were deaf and dumb. When the server came to my table to take our order and they realized I could hear, they were visibly surprised.

The speaker did not appear to be embarrassed by what she had said. The woman's back was turned to my friend, so my friend was unaware of it. (Thank heavens, because my friend can read lips.) I didn't say anything at the time and let it go.

Should I have? I didn't because their table was near ours, and I was afraid the woman would have gotten ruder and made the whole dining experience bad. Should I have said something to the manager or server and sat at another table? If the manager had said something to her, I doubt she would have admitted what she said. -- NOT RIGHT IN OHIO

DEAR NOT RIGHT: You were right not to challenge the woman who said that. If she wasn't embarrassed when it turned out you could hear clearly, little you could say would have shamed her. There was nothing the restaurant manager could do about this woman's breach of etiquette. You, however, could have asked to change your table if you were no longer comfortable seated next to that party.

DEAR ABBY: I was married for 10 years before I found out my ex was living a double life -- other women, children, etc. We divorced, and afterward, I provided the best possible life for our three children.

My ex was the typical deadbeat dad -- never there for his children. Twelve years later, my children are adults, and he has decided to show up and start a relationship with them. Anytime they have milestones with church, college, jobs, weddings, etc., he is there.

I have stepped back and let them decide what kind of relationship they want with him. Even worse, my ex has also rekindled his relationship with my parents and siblings. He's turning my family against me, although we have both remarried. When I try to talk to them about it, they say, "I'm sorry you feel that way," "He's changed," "Why can't you forgive him?"

Abby, my ex stole his business partner's money to live his double life. If he has "changed," why is he once again trying to turn my family against me? What do I do? Must I divorce myself from my parents and siblings? -- NEVER RID OF HIM

DEAR NEVER RID: A man who lives a double life, neglects his responsibilities as a parent and steals from his business partner without trying to make amends to all of them doesn't appear to have "changed." Your children, parents and siblings have "chosen" to forgive and welcome him back into the fold regardless of how it affects you. (He must be one heck of a salesman.)

It's time to look into your heart and decide how much of this togetherness (!) you can tolerate. Some discussions with a licensed mental health professional could be helpful in this regard. If, after that, you conclude that less contact with your parents and siblings under these circumstances would be healthier for you, then do what is best for yourself.

DEAR ABBY: My stepson is being released from prison after assaulting his 9-year-old stepdaughter in my home. He plans on living here with us, with his dad's blessing. A few years ago, I was sexually assaulted, and I still suffer from PTSD because of it. It's getting worse as the release date approaches.

My stepson has problems with drugs and alcohol as well as anger issues. He expects us to pay for whatever he wants. We have spent a third of our retirement money on his legal expenses, and there are no plans for him to pay us back. He has mistreated my dog several times, and I do not trust him.

Am I wrong for not wanting him in my home? My husband has turned a deaf ear to my concerns. I guess blood is thicker than water. -- DREADING IT IN THE WEST

DEAR DREADING IT: Trust your instincts. Because your husband has chosen to ignore your concerns about his son living with you, the time has come for you to take care of yourself. Consult an attorney about protecting whatever assets you still have before they are completely depleted, take your dog and get out of there now. Believe me, you have my sympathy.

DEAR ABBY: My best friend, "Sophie," just became engaged to her longtime boyfriend, "Brian." I want to be happy for her, but he doesn't deserve her. She knows it, but she won't leave.

My problem is, I may very well be asked to be maid of honor at her wedding, and I dread the idea of having to write a speech about their relationship. How do I write a speech when I have nothing good to say about it?

I know Sophie will expect something heartfelt since she's my close friend. I get anxious just thinking about it. Please give me some advice. -- RELUCTANT FRIEND IN INDIANA

DEAR RELUCTANT FRIEND: When you write your speech, start by saying how long you and Sophie have been friends and how close the two of you are. Share a couple of anecdotes about what a caring, loyal, fun friend Sophie is, and state how lucky "Brian" is to be marrying her. Then toast the happy couple, wish them a lifetime of happiness together (even if you feel it won't turn out that way) and "drop the mic." You do not have to sing Brian's praises if you feel he doesn't deserve it. That privilege should belong to the best man.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have friends -- a married couple -- we socialize with every few weeks. "Charles" is kind-hearted, pleasant and enjoyable, always with a good balance between speaking and listening during conversations. His wife, "Claire," on the other hand, isn't interested in hearing about our lives.

When we try to initiate a conversation, Claire cuts us off and switches the subject to a nonrelated, self-centered topic. She also interrupts Charles while he's talking. She goes on and on describing at length the minutiae of her activities and, worse, the lives of her friends (who we don't know or have any interest in). We no longer enjoy her company, but we hate to lose the connection with Charles. Any suggestions? -- BORED IN MISSOURI

DEAR BORED: It may be time for you and Charles to see each other without wives in tow -- for lunch or a sporting event. That way you will be off the hook having to tolerate Claire, and your wife won't have to put up with her because she can socialize with friends whose company she enjoys. I don't have a crystal ball, but I have a strong hunch you and your wife won't be the first to do this.

DEAR ABBY: I met a very nice guy while I was at a bar. Because I was slightly drunk, he drove me home. We exchanged numbers and, since then, we have been out once. I'm pretty sure we will be going out again. The problem is I have no idea what his name is! We didn't exchange social media contacts. I feel awkward asking his name now. Any suggestions? -- UNKNOWN IN THE WEST

DEAR UNKNOWN: Yes. The next time he gets in touch, ask him for the correct spelling of his first and last names "to enter into your contact list." It may manage to get you off the hook without embarrassing yourself, unless his name is John Smith.