DEAR ABBY: A year and a half ago, I separated from my husband because I was being neglected, not respected, and mistreated emotionally. During the separation, he had to have surgery and needed to be taken care of while he healed. I went back because, as his wife, I felt obligated to do the right thing.
I have tried to move forward and restore my marriage, but I still don't feel loved or appreciated. In the back of my mind, I can't forget the way he treated me in the past. I feel stuck because he isn't working and doesn't plan on working again. He says he's not able to, but I believe he could do something that's not strenuous. How do I find my happiness and still do the right thing? -- CONFLICTED IN THE SOUTH
DEAR CONFLICTED: Have you told your husband how you feel -- about everything? If you have and nothing has changed, make an appointment with a lawyer to find out what your obligations may be to a husband who is no longer self-supporting.
If he has no income, you may have to provide for him financially from now on. For some women, this might mean remaining unhappily married but living their own lives to the extent they can, and not relying on their spouse for emotional or any other support.