DEAR ABBY: Our daughter has been married for three years to a wonderful guy she dated for 10 years and loves dearly. Because she doesn't like his last name, she chose to maintain her maiden name. He understood this soon after they started dating.

She's now three months pregnant and facing a dilemma about what to name their child. She's adamant that a hyphenated name is unacceptable. They have tentatively discussed a complete name change for themselves and the child. Her husband was adopted, and she feels there's no reason his surname must be carried on. He's OK with keeping his last name but would consider a new one if she suggests something he likes.

The problem is, she hasn't been able to come up with one he likes. We're concerned this issue will drag on without being settled until our grandchild arrives. We recently offered limited advice hoping they can work this out between themselves.

I believe her husband is entitled to keep his name, and she as well, but I'm against the child carrying only her name. Any suggestions you could provide to help resolve this would be appreciated before our grandchild is born nameless. -- FAMILY DILEMMA IN TEXAS

DEAR FAMILY: My suggestion is that as helpful as you might wish to be, this is something your daughter and son-in-law must work out by themselves. "What's in a name" is plenty, and because this dilemma is emotionally loaded, you should stay out of it.

DEAR ABBY: I'm undergoing chemo/immunotherapy for cancer every three weeks. For quite some time now, my husband has been going out most days from 12:30 p.m. to 3:30 p.m. He does not say where he is going, and when he comes home, he says hardly a word. He is angry with me for the least little thing, and being around him gets very unpleasant because he shouts and throws things around.

I need to know what's going on, why, and if it is innocent -- because he won't say where he's going and for what purpose. Am I justified in being upset and distressed about this? I am at a point in my life where I need support. I think we both should be more concerned with making our future enjoyable and peaceful.

How should I approach him about this without incurring more anger and putting myself in a worse situation than I am already in? I don't want to accuse him of anything, but I want to know the truth however hard it may be. I would appreciate any guidance you can give me. -- SUSPICIOUS IN NEW YORK

DEAR SUSPICIOUS: Has this been going on since you were diagnosed, or do your husband's absences predate it? Because he becomes angry and defensive when you ask what is going on, stop trying to confront him. Your husband may be angry with you for getting cancer, be incapable of giving emotional support or be stressed to the max and need private time to decompress. Or he may be cheating.

If you can afford it, hire a private detective to provide the information you need. I am so sorry for your pain. At a time like this, the last thing you needed was additional worry.

DEAR ABBY: My significant other is a super-nice guy, who everyone likes and gets along with -- until the topics of religion, spirituality and afterlife come up. Any discussion of these subjects (whether or not it involves him) is injected with his sarcasm, hostility and sharp criticism.

He refuses to be silent during the discussions and ends up intimidating people, which leaves everyone feeling judged and negative. I have tried telling him his attacks are unnecessary, unwelcome and as closed-minded and naive as the arguments put forth by those who unquestioningly follow any set of teachings.

His diatribes are long, monotonous, offensive and always ending with, "show me proof," which is nearly impossible. He considers it a "win," which reinforces his behavior. We've had this discussion several times, and I'm not getting through. I have a strong belief system, but I believe everyone has their own process for achieving spirituality. This is why I can accept him as he is, and I'm happy to spar with him in private.

How do I convey how inappropriate and disrespectful his behavior is when he hijacks a discussion with his uncalled-for arguments and negativity? -- SPARRING PARTNER IN MICHIGAN

DEAR PARTNER: How unfortunate, not to mention rude and obnoxious, that your significant other can't control his impulse to hijack other people's conversations on these subjects. His craving to be the center of attention appears to be bottomless. I doubt there's anything you can say to him that will transform him into someone capable of civil conversation. If it hasn't already happened, your boyfriend the boor will eventually find himself as welcome as a polecat at a picnic. This ultimately may affect your own social life -- so be prepared.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been having the same disagreement for nearly the entire 20 years we have been married. He likes having his family (anywhere from two to five people) stay overnight at our house for three to four days every year. I'm an introvert. I need some alone time, and I'd prefer they stay at a motel. He insists it would be "inhospitable," even though we'd still spend 10 or 11 hours a day with them.

I do not like waking up to other people, family or not. He grew up in a large family, while I did not. He actually threatened me with divorce (I'm not sure if he was serious or if it was just a scare tactic, but it hurt) if I was going to make him tell his family they can't stay here. I am 58. I haven't worked in eight years and I have no skills. He knows this, so I feel I have no choice but to agree.

He says I'm being selfish since it's only once a year. I know I'm lucky. He provides well for us financially and is a wonderful husband except for this one obstacle, so I know I should just agree. But how do I get over my anxiety about this? -- DREADING IN TEXAS

DEAR DREADING: The most effective way to deal with an anxiety issue is to talk about it with a licensed psychotherapist. Because your husband provides well for you financially, you can afford to consult one. If you do, it may help you learn how to get moments of alone time in which to recharge while the relatives are there.

DEAR READERS: Welcome to 2022! A new year has arrived, and we leave the last one behind. As always, this new year brings with it our hopes for a new beginning.

Today presents an opportunity to discard destructive old habits for healthy new ones, and with that in mind, I will share Dear Abby's often-requested list of New Year's Resolutions -- which were adapted by my late mother, Pauline Phillips, from the original credo of Al-Anon:

JUST FOR TODAY: I will live through this day only. I will not brood about yesterday or obsess about tomorrow. I will not set far-reaching goals or try to overcome all of my problems at once. I know that I can do something for 24 hours that would overwhelm me if I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will decide to be happy. I will not dwell on thoughts that depress me. If my mind fills with clouds, I will chase them away and fill it with sunshine.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will accept what is. I will face reality. I will correct those things that I can correct and accept those I cannot.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will improve my mind. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration. I will not be a mental loafer.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will make a conscious effort to be agreeable. I will be kind and courteous to those who cross my path, and I'll not speak ill of others. I will improve my appearance, speak softly and not interrupt when someone else is talking. Just for today, I will refrain from improving anybody but myself.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will do something positive to improve my health. If I'm a smoker, I'll quit. And I will get off the couch and take a brisk walk, even if it's only around the block.

JUST FOR TODAY: I will gather the courage to do what is right and take responsibility for my own actions.

And now, Dear Readers, allow me to share an item that was sent to me by L.J. Bhatia, a reader from New Delhi, India:

DEAR ABBY: This year, no resolutions, only some guidelines. The Holy Vedas say, "Man has subjected himself to thousands of self-inflicted bondages. Wisdom comes to a man who lives according to the true eternal laws of nature."

The prayer of St. Francis (of which there are several versions) contains a powerful message:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

And where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

To be understood, as to understand;

To be loved, as to love;

For it is in giving that we receive,

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

And so, Dear Readers, may 2022 bring with it good health, peace and joy to all of us. -- LOVE, ABBY