DEAR ABBY: I have been with my boyfriend for eight years. When I met him he was married, but his wife lived in another state. Although he said he loved her, he would visit her only for a week every other month or so. While he was there, instead of concentrating on her he spent most of his time visiting his friends.
He never intended to leave her for me, but she found out about us a year ago and told him she wanted a divorce. It became final a few months ago. He tells me he loves me every day, but he still spends a lot of time with his friends. We used to be together two or three days a week; we are down to one night most weeks, and occasionally two nights.
I don't think he looks forward to our time together the way I do. I'm afraid if I have a heart-to-heart conversation with him about this, he will walk away from our relationship. I am terrified of being alone, so I settle for waiting for my turn.
During the COVID quarantine, we kept to social distancing for several weeks, until I felt we had been isolated long enough that we could be together again. Tonight, he joined some friends for a social gathering, knowing it would compromise what I had worked so hard for so we could be together. Abby, it feels like he cares less for me than for his friends. Am I fighting a losing battle to stay with someone who seems so cavalier about our relationship? -- LEFT OUT IN WASHINGTON
DEAR LEFT OUT: Do you not recognize that you have created the very situation you fear the most? You are alone! This man isn't going to give you anything more than you are already getting from him, which is very little. This isn't a losing battle you are fighting; the battle is over. He has made clear where his priorities lie, and they don't include you. If you really want a companion, find someone who is willing to share his life with you to the extent that you are willing to share yours with him. This man isn't the one.