DEAR ABBY: My 16-year-old daughter, "Lily," came home from her father's very upset. She has trouble sleeping, and I have been taking her to the doctor for tests. Her father told her not to tell anyone, handed her a vibrator and told her that an orgasm will help her sleep. Lily was shocked and embarrassed that he would suggest such a thing and asked me if she could throw it away.
She no longer wants to go to his house but wants me to be the one to tell him. I'm furious that he would use such poor judgment with his 16-year-old daughter. He feels he has an open relationship with her and that I am a prude. I feel what he did was extremely inappropriate, but I'm not sure how to handle it. -- OVERSTEPPED BOUNDARIES
DEAR OVERSTEPPED BOUNDARIES: Speak up! I agree that what Lily's father did was inappropriate. Further, he embarrassed his daughter, and he owes her an apology. At 16, if she no longer wants to go to his home, she should not be forced to. The attorney who handled your divorce can make that clear to him.
P.S. If Lily wants to throw her father's "gift" away, reassure her that it's her privilege.