DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for 13 years. He is a kind of optimist. After a night of arguing and distancing, the next day he acts as though nothing has happened. He texts me from work, "Hey Babe! Good morning. I love you." Our arguments are not screaming matches but little spats that bother me a lot. Am I just a nagging wife? -- FIGHTING MAD IN NEW YORK

DEAR FIGHTING MAD: Not necessarily. Your husband may get past these fights faster and more completely than you do. However, if his way of dealing with unresolved issues is to pretend they don't exist, I can understand your frustration. If this happens often, a text the next morning isn't going to improve the situation. Your communication problem won't improve until you both agree to talk about this with a marriage and family therapist. If he is not willing to do that, you might find a few sessions for yourself helpful.

DEAR ABBY: My fiance, "Nathan," and I met in college 12 years ago. At the time, he was helping to raise a child he thought was his. He was crazy about his son, "Joey." Everywhere we went, he would show him off, post pictures of them together on social media and talk about Joey nonstop.

When Joey turned 9, Joey's mother finally told Nathan that Joey was not his son. When a DNA test proved it was true, the stuff hit the fan. Not only had the mom known from the beginning that Joey wasn't Nathan's, it turned out so did his family and all his friends. It took a while for Nathan to overcome the shock. Once he did, he decided he wanted to start a family. He proposed to me, and we welcomed our baby girl. (I never cheated on him, but to avoid any doubts he might have, once she arrived, we did a DNA test.) Nathan has her spoiled rotten.

The problem is, he acts very peculiar where she is concerned. Before she was born, he wanted few people to know we were expecting. He said it was because he didn't want to get everybody's hopes up in case anything went wrong, which was understandable. Now our baby is 3 months old, and he's still keeping her a secret.

He doesn't want to take family pictures and doesn't post her on social media like he did with Joey. He has asked his family and friends and even me not to tell anyone about the baby, and he gets mad if we do. When I asked why he's acting this way, he said it's because our child is "nobody's business." I love Nathan, and I understand that he was hurt once, but I'm starting to wonder. Is my fiance ashamed of our child? -- CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT

DEAR CAN'T: I don't think Nathan is ashamed of his daughter. He may be being overly careful about news of his baby girl because he was so badly burned. He went overboard posting pictures and talking nonstop about his "son"; this time he has gone overboard in the opposite direction. Could this have anything to do with a fear that Nathan's ex will find out he has another child? You won't know unless you ask him. Between you and me, unless you're willing to go along with this secrecy business -- which I don't think is healthy -- your fiance should be urged to consult a licensed psychotherapist who can help him regain his balance.

DEAR ABBY: My son and his wife have been living with us for two and a half years so they can save for a house. Recently, my best friend told me that a mutual acquaintance spotted a picture of my son and his wife on a swinger website. At first I discounted it. Then I started noticing they were going out every Friday and Saturday night. My daughter-in-law was usually dressed provocatively, and they wouldn't get home until around 5 or 5:30 a.m. My husband and I are both Christians. Neither of us feel comfortable about the situation. What do you recommend we do? -- INCREDULOUS IN TEXAS

DEAR INCREDULOUS: Your son and his wife are adults. You can't force them to live according to your religious beliefs. But neither do you have to give tacit consent and foster their living a life you do not approve of by turning a blind eye. Check the website for yourself. If what you heard is the gospel, it may be time your adult children made other living arrangements.

DEAR ABBY: My friend "Lois" is in her 70s. She met a man on a dating site several years ago. I warned her he was a romance scammer, but she kept talking to him. She even sent him a few hundred dollars. Since then, she talks to more than one stranger who I'm pretty sure are scammers as well.

Lois lives on Social Security, but sometimes comes into small windfalls from a stimulus or the sale of items. I suspect she's sending them money, too. She has been in a relationship with a man she lives with for several years. When I asked her how she would like it if he were doing the same thing, Lois told me she would stop. Now I see she is friends with three or four more strange men on Facebook! I don't know them, but they sometimes "like" things I post. (I will have to change my settings so that strangers can't see my posts.)

What's wrong with her? Does she like to pretend she is rich? They keep sending friend requests to me and my sister. Of course, we don't accept them. We have warned Lois about this, yet she continues to do the same thing. What can I do? -- SEEING CLEARLY IN GEORGIA

DEAR SEEING CLEARLY: Lois is an adult. You have warned her that what she's doing is a mistake. It may be a waste of her money, but you can't control her behavior, so accept that fact and live your own life accordingly.

DEAR ABBY: My friend's mom has been sick lately. She's on oxygen and has a portable oxygen concentrator. I am also on oxygen. Would it be rude of me to ask for her mom's portable concentrator after she passes? -- PRACTICAL IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR PRACTICAL: To ask that question could be perceived as extremely insensitive. Attempt it only if you have the skills of a diplomat.

DEAR ABBY: Sometimes when my husband, "Tom," drinks he becomes volatile. A month ago, after being out drinking, he came home very late. I made a joke that upset him and he started yelling and calling me names. I have learned that when Tom gets like that, it's best to just agree with him.

On that occasion, it didn't work, and he began breaking things. Our teenage son "Eric" was so scared he called the police. When the police arrived they told my husband who had placed the call and interviewed each of us separately. After they left, Tom called Eric ugly names, told him he was done with him and hasn't spoken to him since. If they are in the same room, my husband won't look at him or talk to him.

I don't know how to fix this. I worry about how this will affect Eric. He tries to avoid his dad now and goes to his room when he hears his dad come home. -- BAD BEHAVIOR IN TEXAS

DEAR BAD BEHAVIOR: Your husband may blame his abusive outbursts on his drinking, but as you can see, he's well aware of what he did after he sobers up. Eric was right to call the police because, after "breaking things," his father could have gone after you.

This unfortunate situation will not improve until Tom faces the fact that he's a problem drinker, swears off the sauce and gets help. By not insisting upon it, you have cast yourself in the role of his enabler. For your sake and Eric's, draw the line. (The healthiest person in your household appears to be your son.)

Talk to Eric. Let him know he did nothing wrong. There are programs for families of alcoholics that can be accessed by visiting al-anon.org/info. Attending Al-Anon meetings would be beneficial for you and Eric, regardless of what your husband decides about drying out.

DEAR ABBY: My husband's daughter has "borrowed" money from us on countless occasions when she couldn't pay her bills. She has never made an effort to repay it. She was recently included in someone's will, and the bequest was sizable. Prior to receiving her inheritance, she had asked to borrow money to buy three major appliances. Because it would be several months until the estate would be settled and it was a large sum that we really couldn't afford to lose, we required her to sign a promissory note. She mailed us a check when her funds arrived, but now she's cut off all communication with us! We have tried to resume normal relations with her to no avail. Should we keep trying? -- IGNORED IN THE EAST

DEAR IGNORED: So your husband's daughter is offended because you made her sign a promissory note before handing out (more) money you couldn't afford to lose? In light of the fact that she hasn't repaid you for all the other monies you helped her out with when she needed it, what you did was sensible.

Rather than accept that in the past she has behaved irresponsibly, which is why you asked for the guarantee of repayment, she's blaming you?! Instead of beating your heads against a stone wall trying to have a relationship with your husband's deadbeat daughter, you would be better off biding your time until she once again needs something.