DEAR ABBY: I am a mom of two boys, 8 and 12. They both have best friends whose moms I like and I would like to be friends with. My problem is, when we set up a playdate for the boys or make plans, when the time comes around and I text them about it, I don't hear back from them at all. I have even left phone messages a couple of times.

I'm bipolar, and I have social anxiety, so when I say yes to something, it is huge for me. When they don't respond, I feel as though I am annoying them or they're mad at me for some reason. The rejection is starting to upset me, and it's upsetting my children, especially my 8-year-old. My question: How do I deal with flaky moms without ruining my relationship with them? -- REJECTED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR REJECTED: Have these women ever agreed to a playdate with your children? Flaky is not the way I would describe them. Rude bordering on cruel would be more accurate.

It's time to start cultivating relationships with other mothers. Do not personalize what has been happening because the way you have been treated has less to do with you than what it shows about them. In the future, rather than chase these moms, take your children to a park to play (if one is open) or enroll them in other activities.

DEAR ABBY: I have been divorced for eight years. After being divorced for a year, I became curious about dating and have been on and off the online dating sites. I have a rule about not meeting anyone with a status of "separated." Knowing myself, I knew I needed time to get over my divorce before welcoming someone in my life.

A man who listed himself divorced for 3 1/2 years and looking for a relationship was actively contacting me and invited me to look at his photos on Facebook. When I did, I noticed he still had his wedding photo posted. I thought it was odd, so I asked him about it. He said it was 20 years of his life, and he just cannot pretend it didn't happen. He said I was reading way too much into it.

My gut is telling me, "Thank you, but no thank you." What are your thoughts, Abby? -- PHOTO FINISHED IN NEW YORK

DEAR PHOTO FINISHED: Listen to your gut as you get to know him better. For someone who is divorced and looking for a relationship to leave up a wedding picture with his former spouse makes me wonder if he's lazy about removing pictures from his Facebook, or sabotaging himself because he's not quite as ready to move on to something new as he thinks he is.

DEAR ABBY: My late husband was of the Jewish faith. Our children and I are not. Through the years, kind and generous friends and neighbors have sent cards and gifts for Jewish holidays, which makes me very uncomfortable. What wording would you suggest I use to have this practice discontinued without seeming rude or unappreciative? -- NON-JEWISH IN ILLINOIS

DEAR NON-JEWISH: You can get your point across to these thoughtful people by saying something like this: "I appreciate your thoughtfulness, but you should know that although my husband followed the Jewish religion, my children and I do not. We are ___________." Frankly, you should have spoken up years ago.

DEAR ABBY: My sister and I are best friends. She has always been caring, empathetic and passionate about helping others. Now, however, COVID has turned her into a real piece of work.

Since the pandemic began, she has become increasingly selfish. She interrupts other people's conversations to talk about herself and complains nonstop about how COVID has ruined her life, as if the rest of us weren't experiencing this too.

She shouts hysterically at me when the Wi-Fi stops working and refuses to volunteer for the most basic household tasks. At first I tried to be patient because I understand it's a reaction to an incredibly stressful time in her life. However, after 10 monster months of this, I'm at my wits' end.

We live together, go to college together and share the same friends. How can I tolerate her self-centeredness until the pandemic is finally over? And what if this new version of her never goes away? -- IRKED IN IDAHO

DEAR IRKED: I wonder if the friends you share with your sister are having the same reaction as you are to being interrupted and having their conversations hijacked. If the answer is yes, a group intervention may jolt her back to reality and help her recognize how obnoxious it is.

As to the rest of your complaints about her behavior, the next time she comes screaming to you about the Wi-Fi failing, tell her you'll be glad to help IF she agrees to pull her share of the workload around the apartment. It goes without saying that when you can make other living arrangements -- perhaps in the fall -- you find a roommate more compatible than your sister. If you do, your relationship with her may improve because you will be exposed to her less often.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have two children. We have been married for 14 years, the last six of which have been sexless and loveless. We tried counseling, and I have threatened divorce, but nothing has changed.

After I finally realized that I couldn't change him, I changed myself. I started stepping out and having sexual relations with other men. He recently found out about my affairs but hasn't said a word about it to me. I'm to the point that I wish he would confront me and divorce me, but he acts like nothing is wrong in our marriage! I'm confused. What do you recommend I do next? -- LOOKING AHEAD IN KANSAS

DEAR LOOKING AHEAD: It's time to decide what you want to happen. Do you want a divorce? Is the status quo acceptable to you? If it's the latter, do nothing different than you have been doing. However, if it isn't, talk to your husband about what you are thinking.

You need to figure out why the change in your marriage happened and if it can be fixed. He may have become impotent or have someone he is seeing on the side. If it's possible to repair your marriage, counseling would be an option. However, if it's not, it might be healthier for both of you to talk to a lawyer and arrange an amicable divorce.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have had a total of six miscarriages -- one before our miracle son and five since we began trying for a second child more than two years ago.

I always wanted a boatload of children, but my husband and I agreed on two before we got married. Now he wants to call it quits. He doesn't want to keep trying because he sees the emotional toll each loss has on me. I want to get a second opinion from a fertility specialist who helped a friend with similar issues.

The only way I know how to describe the way I feel is that it feels as though "someone" is missing from our family. I ache and long for and miss that person, even though I've never met them. I know deep in my soul, that they are supposed to be here. Missing them doesn't mean I love my husband and son any less. But as much as I love those two, I also miss that person. What should my husband and I do? -- CHALLENGED IN TEXAS

DEAR CHALLENGED: Please accept my heartfelt sympathy. Clearly you have been through a wrenching time, and your loving husband is reluctant to see you continue to suffer as you have been. You and your husband should talk to the fertility specialist who helped your friend. However, if more treatment is unsuccessful, it will be time for you to seek a referral to a licensed psychotherapist who can help you cope with your disappointment and loss.

Because you can't escape the feeling that someone is missing, perhaps you might consider using a surrogate, fostering or adopting a child who needs a loving home and family.

DEAR ABBY: I have been single for almost three years. I recently started dating a man who, I have realized over the past few weeks, has a problem with me spending time with friends without him. I have explained that it is a healthy and normal thing to have friends and to go do things with them. I have explained that he has nothing to worry about because I am respectful of our relationship and a faithful girlfriend. I have also begun to notice that he has no friends.

I have told him he is coming across as controlling. I don't want this to be a problem with him, and I don't know how to get him to see that it's normal for people to go and have fun as friends. My friends are classmates of mine, both male and female, and younger than I am. One of them is gay. I have explained that as well to my boyfriend. Am I overthinking this as a potential problem or is this truly a red flag? -- CATCHING IT NOW IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CATCHING IT: You are not overthinking anything, and yes, this is a red flag -- not a potential one. The person you have described appears to be so insecure that any activity you have that doesn't include him is perceived as a threat. The longer you remain involved with this person, the harder he will try to socially isolate you. Please do not allow that to happen. End it now.