DEAR ABBY: I used to be a successful working woman until I lost my husband of 30 years. After I became homeless, I met "Tom." We've been good friends for the last five years, hanging out in the woods, sometimes getting hotel rooms. It's a platonic relationship, but we rely on each other.

I receive Social Security survivor benefits now, and I want to move on and get my own place. He says he's fine with it, but I feel terribly guilty. He gets a small disability check but is not wise with money. How can I comfort him? -- GUILTY IN FLORIDA

DEAR GUILTY: Tom has told you he is fine with you upgrading your living situation. I presume that you don't intend to desert him. Believe him and stop flogging yourself for your good fortune. Help him when you can and encourage him to contact an agency that helps the homeless so he can get his life back on track, too.

DEAR ABBY: I'm in a same-sex relationship with a woman I love and admire. But five months in, sex is becoming impossible because I think I'm heterosexual. Leaving this relationship scares me because I can't imagine a life without her.

I told her I didn't know if, for several reasons, sex would be a part of our relationship, but that I do love her. She doesn't seem to mind at all. I'm not sure what to do. Please help. -- LOVING IN LOUISIANA

DEAR LOVING: What you need to do is be honest with your partner. It is possible that you are bisexual and need to explore relationships with men before making up your mind about any permanent relationship. If sex is important to you, then the person you wind up with may not be this woman you love and admire, but someone else entirely.

DEAR ABBY: My grandson died by suicide in 2019. My daughter, who lives in another state, hasn't spoken to me since. Why? Because we did not call her on the phone. We were texting her, and she was texting us back. When I did try to call, she wouldn't answer the phone.

It has been more than a year now. She won't respond to other family members, either. Please advise me what to do in this sad situation. -- WOUNDED GRANDMA IN TEXAS

DEAR GRANDMA: Not knowing your daughter, I am hesitant to guess why she has isolated herself from everyone. She may have felt she was entitled to more support from you all and didn't receive it.

As many people have pointed out in my column, while texts may be efficient, they are a poor substitute for a human voice. Because she refuses your calls, write her a letter telling her you love her and apologize for letting her down after the tragedy of losing her son. Whether it will help, I can't guess -- but at least the olive branch will have been offered.

DEAR ABBY: I am a faithful male reader of your column. I lost my beautiful wife of 40 years last year.

During our marriage, I had prostate cancer and decided to have the surgery to remove it. I was told by my doctor that there was a chance I would never again be intimate with my wife, and she was OK with it. Now that she's gone, I have grown close to her childhood best friend. I don't know whether a relationship is in the making, but I'm afraid once she finds out I'm unable to perform, the relationship will die.

I have tried every pill on the market, pump, etc. Is it possible to have a good relationship with someone without intercourse? Or do you think I'm doomed? -- GOING FORWARD IN VIRGINIA

DEAR GOING: I do not think you are "doomed." If you are under the impression that all women your age (and younger) would reject you because you can no longer have sexual intercourse, allow me to reassure you. Many women would value warmth, affection, compatible ethics and morals and an intellectual equal to share their life with. So be honest, and you may be pleasantly surprised to discover that not only are you eligible, but that you are also in demand.

DEAR ABBY: I have a friend who is really popular. We have been best friends since third grade, but when we started ninth grade, she really changed. She started hanging out with the "cool" kids and acting weird. She told me that because I was her friend, I had the automatic right to hang out with them.

I don't like to hang out with large groups of people because I'm afraid of big groups, but I still want to be friends with her. When I told her I'd think about it, she suddenly turned cold. I'm confused. I don't know what I should do. She was there for me since third grade, and I was there for her, and now she seems to be fading really fast -- six years of friendship just forgotten. Please give me some advice. -- FRIEND DRAMA IN MICHIGAN

DEAR FRIEND DRAMA: Sometimes when a person says "I'll think about it," it comes across as a negative reply. Your friend's feelings may have been hurt because she interpreted it as a rejection. It would have been better if you had explained that you are uncomfortable in large groups and would prefer to see her one-on-one if she was willing. It may not be too late to get that message across to her. If the price of her company is that you will have to learn to be more social, you will then have to decide which is more important.

DEAR ABBY: I have a co-worker who just built a house. When I asked her what she would like for a housewarming gift, she told me a nice wine carafe with a stopper. So that's exactly what I got her.

I recently found out she had a housewarming party, and I wasn't invited. I had asked her when it was going to be, and she didn't mention a word about it. Am I still obligated to give her the gift I got for her? Or should I write her off and give it to someone else? -- EXCLUDED IN CORPUS CHRISTI

DEAR EXCLUDED: Ouch! Write her off and regift it.

DEAR ABBY: My beautiful 17-year-old stepdaughter, "Amelia," recently became sexually active. She's in a "serious" relationship with the boy she had sex with. They have been together for six months, and from what she's told me, they both gave each other their virginity and protection was used. She has not disclosed this to her parents.

My husband and Amelia are very close, but she and her mom recently had a falling-out. Amelia pledged me to secrecy, and I immediately scheduled her to see an OB/GYN to get her on birth control.

My question is, should I tell my husband? I feel awful not telling him, but she has told me she doesn't want either of her parents to know. I'm grateful she comes to me for things like this, but eventually, it's going to come out when my husband sees the explanation of benefits from the insurance.

Amelia's mom and I have a solid relationship, and my husband and her mom also have a good one. I don't want to keep secrets regarding their daughter, but I don't want to betray my stepdaughter either. Please help. -- STRUGGLING STEPMOM

DEAR STEPMOM: It isn't necessary to betray your stepdaughter's confidence to get her the help she needs. Go online to plannedparenthood.org, locate the nearest Planned Parenthood clinic and share that information with Amelia. The organization provides a wide range of low-cost services to women and men, including family planning, STD diagnosis and treatment, and birth control on a confidential basis. You should also encourage Amelia to discuss this with her parents. She is behaving responsibly in wanting to protect herself.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been married for decades, but 10 years ago she had, at the least, a texting affair with "Brad," a longtime friend of her brother's. Her brother, who knows about the affair, lives on a large tract of land owned by their father. Brad is there often to go hunting with her brother. My wife and I used to visit frequently, but now there is some concern that Brad might be there and we'll have a conflict, so we don't go as much. The affair was very upsetting to me, but my wife insisted we keep it quiet so her brother could continue his friendship with Brad.

Over the years, she has occasionally had online contact with Brad and even told him that she appreciated him talking with our son because our son has few friends. But now our son, who knows nothing about the affair or how bad it hurt me, has become friendly with Brad. It is very difficult hearing him talk about things they do together. Should we tell our son about the affair? -- STILL HURT IN TEXAS

DEAR STILL HURT: Tempting as it may be to "out" your wife to your son, keep that information to yourself. I question the wisdom of Brad having been encouraged to cultivate a relationship with your son since this friendship is the fruit of that decision. Because you prefer not to hear what your son and Brad are doing, the next time it comes up, change the subject. He may or may not catch on and question you about the reason, but if he does, all you need to say is you'd rather not discuss it.