DEAR ABBY: I have seen letters in your column from people upset that their guests don't help them after dinner. I am the opposite. I held onto a poem you printed years ago and had it perma-plaqued and posted on a kitchen cabinet.

For more than 20 years, my husband and I hosted a dinner every Sunday after church. I set the table for 10, but we often had more. When guests offered to help, I handed them a copy of that poem. Could you print it again for your readers? -- FAITHFUL FOLLOWER IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR FOLLOWER: Gladly. That poem has been requested many times over the years. It resonates with hosts who are territorial about their space when entertaining. It is included in my booklet "Keepers," which is a collection of poems, essays and letters readers have told me they clipped and saved to reread until they were yellowed with age and fell apart. You were clever to perma-plaque yours. "Keepers" is both witty and philosophical. It covers many subjects including children, parenting, animals, aging, death, forgiveness and more. It can be ordered by sending your name and address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to Dear Abby Keepers Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. Shipping and handling are included in the price.

It's a quick and easy read as well as an inexpensive gift for newlyweds, pet lovers, new parents and anyone grieving or recovering from an illness.

STAY OUT OF MY KITCHEN by Susan Sawyer

Please stay away from my kitchen

From my dishwashing, cooking and such;

You were kind to have offered to pitch in

But thanks, no, thank you so much!

Please don't think me ungracious

When I ask that you leave me alone;

For my kitchen's not any too spacious

And my routine is strictly my own.

Tell you what: You stay out of my kitchen

With its sodden, hot, lackluster lures --

When you're here, stay out of my kitchen

And I promise to stay out of yours!

DEAR ABBY: I had weight-loss surgery six months ago. I haven't had the dramatic transformation that some people experience. I've only lost about 50 pounds.

My problem is, friends who know I had the operation keep asking me how much weight I lost. I think it's a rude question and none of their business. I understand people are curious, especially since they haven't seen me in person because of COVID restrictions. How do I answer without saying, "None of your business"? -- LOSING IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR LOSING: Your friends may just be curious and want to congratulate you on a big loss, and 50 pounds is one. That said, you do not have to answer every question that is asked. All you need to say is, "I'll let you guess once you see me again." If they ask for a hint, stick to your guns and change the subject. Then consider this: They may be gauging the success of your surgery for themselves.

DEAR READERS: Today's the day for the wearing of the green. A very happy St. Patrick's Day to you all! -- LOVE, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I have been with the same man for almost 30 years. We are not married and have no children together. He is 15 years older than I am.

We have been living in his house for the past seven years. I feel more like a renter than a partner in this relationship. I give him money every month, and we sleep in separate rooms. He wants to control everything in his house, including how to clean, cook or what we eat. I bite my lip to avoid starting a confrontation.

He is a lifelong bachelor, while I have two adult children and a couple of grandkids. I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. I work all day; he doesn't. I want to leave, but at the same time, I care and worry about him. What should I do? -- DISILLUSIONED IN ILLINOIS

DEAR DISILLUSIONED: Quit biting your lip. Gather your courage and start an honest conversation with your housemate in which you tell him you have been unhappy with the status quo for a long time. Then outline the changes that would make you happy. If he isn't willing to compromise, then pack your bags and leave because you will know the feelings you have for him are not mutual.

DEAR ABBY: I've been "friends" with a woman for 25 years. For a time, we were best friends and did everything together, but we couldn't be more different. It caused many fights and disagreements over the years. She has deeply hurt and embarrassed me countless times. She ruined birthdays, damaged other relationships -- even ruined my bachelorette party. I don't know why I still bother with her. I think because of our deep roots, it's hard to let go.

At the moment, we haven't spoken in more than two months, and I know she's upset with me yet again. Should I reach out and mend the bond? Do I use this as a stepping stone to start moving on? I love her, but I know it really is a toxic relationship. -- OFF AGAIN IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR OFF AGAIN: Please reread the last sentence of your letter. Do not bother reaching out and trying to mend the breach in your relationship. You cannot fix what's wrong with this old friend, but you can move on. Her silence is giving you the opportunity. Take it!

DEAR ABBY: My son is getting married in a couple of weeks. Due to COVID-19, he and his fiancee are having to downsize the list of invitees. This includes asking those who have already RSVP'd "yes" and/or have already given them a wedding gift not to attend. Should they return the wedding gifts to those they are disinviting to the wedding? -- WONDERING IN THE SOUTH

DEAR WONDERING: Your son and his fiancee should at least offer to return the gifts. Considering the reason for the downsizing, some of the no-longer-invited guests may tell them to keep them along with their good wishes, while others will not.

DEAR ABBY: My daughter is in her early 20s. When she was younger, she was happy. She socialized, had friends and had fun. She has had several boyfriends, but unfortunately, nothing that panned out.

She feels the only way to be comfortable or worth anything is to have a guy by her side. I think she goes about it in the wrong way. She has few friends now and rarely goes anywhere other than work. She experiences periods of depression and says she is afraid of being rejected, which holds her back from socializing. I try to encourage her to step out of her comfort zone and experience life, but she gets defensive and thinks I am saying it to be mean, when I am offering her something of value.

Abby, I do it out of care and love. I don't know how else to help her. I'm very worried about her. I'm afraid if she doesn't change her lifestyle, the situation will become worse, and she will regret it. These should be some of the best years of her life. Can you offer any suggestions to help her through these dark times? -- MOM WHO'S WORRIED IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR MOM: I do have one. The most important step a person can take to solve a problem is to admit there is one. Pointing out that someone seems depressed and isolated isn't mean; it's what caring parents (or friends) do when they see someone they care about is in trouble. When advising your daughter, make sure your tone is perceived as loving and not judgmental. Then point out that the quickest way for her to get her life back on track would be to talk to a licensed mental health professional.

DEAR ABBY: I got married while stationed in Korea. Over the years, I put drugs and alcohol and friends before my family. I regret it to this day.

I have four children and two of them are from the same woman. My oldest son and I chat almost daily through Messenger. This is the first time since retirement that I have been this far away from them.

My daughter and youngest son don't communicate with me in any fashion. I have sent text messages to both of them but received no reply. I learned a couple of days ago that my daughter has been married almost three years.

I miss my family dearly and wish to talk to both of them. Is it hatred and unforgiveness that I am feeling from them? It tears me up inside. I would feel better with any type of reply. What else can I do? -- REACHING OUT IN ILLINOIS

DEAR REACHING OUT: There is nothing more you can do to get a response from your daughter and youngest son. You placed drugs, alcohol and friends before them when they were young, and this is the predictable response to emotional neglect.

Not knowing them, I can't say for certain that they "hate" you. They do, however, appear to be indifferent and unforgiving, and have moved on with their lives. You don't have much choice but to accept it and move on with your own while appreciating the relationship you have with your oldest son.