DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my husband for 13 years. He has lied about little things and also about emotional relationships he has had with co-workers. It went on for years, as he moved from one job to another.
A few months ago, I found out from the other woman that he'd had a sexual affair with her. He had been in counseling for months prior because of what he said were mental health issues. In reality, it was because of his guilt.
We are now in marriage counseling and individual counseling, as well. I don't know if it will help because he has been a gaslighter for years. Please tell me what you think. -- PATIENT WIFE IN MINNESOTA
DEAR WIFE: Give the counseling a try. But because of your husband's long history of lying to you, things will have to drastically change in your relationship. Until trust can be established, his life must be an open book -- including his phone messages, texts and credit card statements. That he felt enough guilt that he started counseling is a hopeful sign, but there are no guarantees that your marriage can be saved.