DEAR ABBY: I brought my 68-year-old immigrant father to live with me permanently with the intention of caring for him. He was completely dependent. Halfway through the year, I got angry, told him to move back and vowed to myself I would never ever care for him again. It wasn't that he did anything wrong; I don't know why I got so angry.

He wound up living alone, being helped by his friends. I visited him, but I became disconnected. I knew he was suffering, but I couldn't bring myself to bring him back to live with me. I was extraordinarily cruel, and it hurt him deeply. I let his green card lapse. He passed away two years later.

Since then, I have been overwhelmed with guilt. As a son, I should have cared for my father. I am depressed over my actions. I am a horrible son. I have been crying and asking for forgiveness. Please tell me how I can move forward. -- GUILT-RIDDEN IN THE WEST

DEAR GUILT-RIDDEN: Performing the role of caregiver is an enormous undertaking. While it can be rewarding, it can also be exhausting, unrelenting and stressful. Caregivers have been known to lose their tempers because of the pressure, but because you had bitten off more than you could chew, your reaction was extreme.

If you are religious, talk about this with your clergyperson. If you aren't, please consider scheduling some appointments with a licensed mental health professional who can help you more fully understand what happened between you and your father and help you cope with your guilt. And in the future -- once you are able -- consider atoning by volunteering for a charity that serves the elderly.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to a functioning alcoholic for more than 30 years. He was once funny and nice and a good dad. But over the years he has become unbearable to live with. He doesn't shower or brush his teeth. He was always mainly a beer drinker, but now he is drinking hard liquor and stays drunk most of the time he is awake.

I told him I thought he was depressed and a severe alcoholic, and he should talk to his doctor, but he refuses. He walks around cursing under his breath, and nobody wants to be around him. I keep him off the road when he has been drinking, but I'm terrified he will hurt someone. I am pretty sure he is drinking on the job, and I'm scared he will hurt himself. I am ready to leave him, but afraid that if I do, he will be completely lost. Please guide me. -- LOST IN THE SOUTH

DEAR LOST: You don't need me to tell you that your husband is in bad shape. I don't know what his job involves, but if he's interacting with others, I am surprised he can get away with having such poor hygiene and being stoned on alcohol.

Because he refuses to talk to his doctor about this, you should. I hope you are beginning to realize that, on the path he is on, you cannot "save" him. I have mentioned Al-Anon many times in my column. The organization is an offshoot of Alcoholics Anonymous and was started to help families and friends of individuals who are unable to control their drinking. You will gain insight about what to do next if you attend some of their meetings. Find one by going to al-anon.org/info.

DEAR ABBY: My girlfriend and I call each other horrible, disparaging names as a form of "love." Recently, I asked her to stop calling me names like that because it was fun at first, but now not so much. For me, it was just too negative.

I love her, and I want to show it by my actions. I want us to be a positive couple. I now call her "Bebe." Well, she got mad and accused me of not letting her be herself. Am I wrong for asking her not to call me ugly, gender-based names? I know she loves me, and I just want her to tone down the name-calling. Is that too much to ask? -- NO DUMB-A-- IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR NO D-A: No, it is not too much to ask. Jokes can get old and stale, and the name-calling stopped being cute or fun for you a while ago. People who love each other are sensitive to the other person's feelings and don't do what your girlfriend is doing. If she persists, it may be time to step back and reevaluate this relationship because her "just being herself" will become a turnoff.

DEAR ABBY: My husband of 34 years has really bad table manners. He smacks when he chews, makes gulping noises when he drinks liquids and stuffs huge amounts of food in his mouth. He once swallowed a whole hard-boiled egg all at once and almost choked. It's gross.

I love him, but his lack of manners is embarrassing, especially when we are invited out or are over at a friend's house. What can I do? -- ROLLING MY EYES IN TENNESSEE

DEAR ROLLING: Have you talked to him about this? If you have, sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words. Hand him a mirror or record a video of him eating so he can see for himself how unappealing he looks when he does this. If that doesn't persuade him to slow down and take smaller bites, consider putting less food on his plate before serving it. I can't guarantee this will work, but it's worth a try.

P.S. A whole egg? OUCH!

DEAR ABBY: After recently having gone through a divorce, my brother has now decided to start a family. He claims he loves her, but I'm afraid she's taking advantage of him. They are both in their mid-30s and blinded by lust. They plan on marrying "maybe a year from now."

I don't know what to think. On the one hand, I'm happy he has moved on and found a new life. On the other hand, I'm afraid for him, knowing he's vulnerable. How do I cope? -- BEWILDERED SIS IN VERMONT

DEAR SIS: Your brother is talking about getting married a year from now. Unless he's putting the cart before the horse by starting a family before the wedding, he seems to be handling things quite well and not rushing into a commitment he can't get out of. Calm yourself. Let this play out and get to know his girlfriend. If you do, you may find you like her.

DEAR ABBY: This is a delicate situation. Four days after my boyfriend (whom I had been seeing for 8 1/2 years) was killed in an accident, I found out he was married. He had claimed for years that he was divorced and even produced a copy of his divorce decree several years ago. It is a long story.

He has been dead for five months now, and I need something back from his wife that he borrowed from me: my father's Mason ring. I was devastated when I learned he was married and had lied to me all those years, but I have no intention of telling his wife or causing her pain. (I don't think she knows about me.) I would like the ring back because my father passed away many years ago, and I want to pass it on to my daughter, who never knew her grandfather. He died before she was born.

My boyfriend's sister (who lives with his wife) knows about me. She told me she won't tell her sister-in-law, and I should leave her alone. I'm not trying to hurt anyone because I wouldn't want anyone to do this to me if I was in her place, but I am lost about how to approach this. -- TWISTED SITUATION DOWN SOUTH

DEAR TWISTED SITUATION: I assume you have explained the situation to the wife's sister-in-law. Contact her once more and tell her you want the ring and need her help to get it back without starting WWIII. However, if she's still uncooperative, you may need a lawyer to write the grieving widow a registered letter explaining the entire situation and asking that the ring be returned. (I'm hoping there are identifying initials engraved inside that do not match her husband's.)

DEAR ABBY: I am 9 years old, and I have a twin brother. Sometimes he's nice to me and other times he's annoying. When he's annoying, sometimes he doesn't stop. Everywhere I go -- our car, the kitchen, table, everywhere -- I hear him babbling about nonsense. Even in my happy place (my bedroom). I wish I could lock my bedroom door, but my parents keep telling me not to lock ANY of the doors (except the car) in the house. Could you tell me what to do, please? I'd really like to stop being annoyed for once in my life. -- BOTHERED TWIN IN AUSTIN, TEXAS

DEAR TWIN: Is your brother trying to be annoying, or is he just ... annoying? If it's the former, talk to your parents about it because he may need to be put on notice. If it's the latter, then you should talk to him.

Explain that sometimes you don't feel like talking or playing and you need to be left alone. Agree on a signal -- like hanging a sock (or some other item) on the outside bedroom door knob so he'll know. And when you do, make sure you let him know you'll do the same for him when the situations are reversed, because they will be.

DEAR ABBY: Easter is a day to be thankful for Christ that our sins are forgiven. Opinionated atheists at the dinner table distract from the meaning of the celebration. Is it wrong on Easter Sunday to exclude relatives who no longer practice the Christian faith? -- SAVED IN MINNESOTA

DEAR SAVED: Before making up your mind, ask yourself, "What would Jesus do?"