DEAR ABBY: This is a delicate situation. Four days after my boyfriend (whom I had been seeing for 8 1/2 years) was killed in an accident, I found out he was married. He had claimed for years that he was divorced and even produced a copy of his divorce decree several years ago. It is a long story.
He has been dead for five months now, and I need something back from his wife that he borrowed from me: my father's Mason ring. I was devastated when I learned he was married and had lied to me all those years, but I have no intention of telling his wife or causing her pain. (I don't think she knows about me.) I would like the ring back because my father passed away many years ago, and I want to pass it on to my daughter, who never knew her grandfather. He died before she was born.
My boyfriend's sister (who lives with his wife) knows about me. She told me she won't tell her sister-in-law, and I should leave her alone. I'm not trying to hurt anyone because I wouldn't want anyone to do this to me if I was in her place, but I am lost about how to approach this. -- TWISTED SITUATION DOWN SOUTH
DEAR TWISTED SITUATION: I assume you have explained the situation to the wife's sister-in-law. Contact her once more and tell her you want the ring and need her help to get it back without starting WWIII. However, if she's still uncooperative, you may need a lawyer to write the grieving widow a registered letter explaining the entire situation and asking that the ring be returned. (I'm hoping there are identifying initials engraved inside that do not match her husband's.)