DEAR ABBY: This is a delicate situation. Four days after my boyfriend (whom I had been seeing for 8 1/2 years) was killed in an accident, I found out he was married. He had claimed for years that he was divorced and even produced a copy of his divorce decree several years ago. It is a long story.

He has been dead for five months now, and I need something back from his wife that he borrowed from me: my father's Mason ring. I was devastated when I learned he was married and had lied to me all those years, but I have no intention of telling his wife or causing her pain. (I don't think she knows about me.) I would like the ring back because my father passed away many years ago, and I want to pass it on to my daughter, who never knew her grandfather. He died before she was born.

My boyfriend's sister (who lives with his wife) knows about me. She told me she won't tell her sister-in-law, and I should leave her alone. I'm not trying to hurt anyone because I wouldn't want anyone to do this to me if I was in her place, but I am lost about how to approach this. -- TWISTED SITUATION DOWN SOUTH

DEAR TWISTED SITUATION: I assume you have explained the situation to the wife's sister-in-law. Contact her once more and tell her you want the ring and need her help to get it back without starting WWIII. However, if she's still uncooperative, you may need a lawyer to write the grieving widow a registered letter explaining the entire situation and asking that the ring be returned. (I'm hoping there are identifying initials engraved inside that do not match her husband's.)

DEAR ABBY: I am 9 years old, and I have a twin brother. Sometimes he's nice to me and other times he's annoying. When he's annoying, sometimes he doesn't stop. Everywhere I go -- our car, the kitchen, table, everywhere -- I hear him babbling about nonsense. Even in my happy place (my bedroom). I wish I could lock my bedroom door, but my parents keep telling me not to lock ANY of the doors (except the car) in the house. Could you tell me what to do, please? I'd really like to stop being annoyed for once in my life. -- BOTHERED TWIN IN AUSTIN, TEXAS

DEAR TWIN: Is your brother trying to be annoying, or is he just ... annoying? If it's the former, talk to your parents about it because he may need to be put on notice. If it's the latter, then you should talk to him.

Explain that sometimes you don't feel like talking or playing and you need to be left alone. Agree on a signal -- like hanging a sock (or some other item) on the outside bedroom door knob so he'll know. And when you do, make sure you let him know you'll do the same for him when the situations are reversed, because they will be.

DEAR ABBY: Easter is a day to be thankful for Christ that our sins are forgiven. Opinionated atheists at the dinner table distract from the meaning of the celebration. Is it wrong on Easter Sunday to exclude relatives who no longer practice the Christian faith? -- SAVED IN MINNESOTA

DEAR SAVED: Before making up your mind, ask yourself, "What would Jesus do?"

DEAR ABBY: I'm married to the most patient, loving and wonderful husband in the world. Recently, I had a falling-out with his friend group. I admit I was not a good friend due to mental illness, and I know I may never earn their forgiveness. I'm taking responsibility for my actions and seeking help. Now I want to move on and forget I ever knew them.

The problem is, my husband still hangs out with them. He defended me when they talked negatively about me, and continues to support me in all my struggles, but they're still buddy-buddy as if nothing ever happened. I can't help but think how awkward it is that he hangs out with a bunch of people who hate me.

The last thing I want is to break up a friendship, and I know it's petty to be angry that my husband still hangs with them, but it still leaves a sour taste in my mouth. How can I learn to let go knowing they will be a constant presence in my life and a reminder of how horrible I was? -- KEEPING DISTANCE

DEAR KEEPING: You have a mental illness and you acted out. Your illness caused it, and it does not make you a bad person.

You cannot wave a magic wand and expect this to go away. You have already taken an important first step by admitting to yourself that you have a mental illness. If you are now in treatment, you have also taken the second step. When you are strong enough, apologize to his friend group for any pain, embarrassment or disruption you caused during an "episode" and assure them you are working to get better.

You should not expect your husband to drop his friends because you messed up. They probably will be present in your lives for the foreseeable future, but that doesn't mean you will always be at odds.

DEAR ABBY: We moved into a beautiful new house a few months ago, and we're having an issue with a neighbor whose dog barks all night. This has been going on since the first night. I have tried to ignore it. I wear earplugs or put a pillow over my head, but nothing helps, and it's starting to affect my mood because I'm not getting enough sleep.

I'm receiving mixed advice from family about whether I should talk to the neighbor in person or anonymously submit a complaint with the city. I would go in person, but I'm somewhat shy, and I'm not sure how to start a conversation like that with someone I've never met. Any advice on this would be so helpful. -- SLEEP-DEPRIVED IN ARIZONA

DEAR SLEEP-DEPRIVED: It would be interesting to know why your neighbor's dog barks all night. Is it neglected, hungry or thirsty, tied up outside and wanting to come in? Because you are shy, write your neighbors a polite letter explaining that their dog's barking is preventing you from getting a good night's sleep and ask if they can do something to help you out. Give them a chance to rectify the problem. However, if the animal is being ignored and mistreated, contact the animal control department in your city and report it.

DEAR ABBY: I suspect that something has been going on with my husband and our daughter-in-law. My husband has become obsessed with her, and they both seem to become nervous when they are around me at the same time. My husband is always checking to see when I'm leaving.

My son and daughter-in-law and their three kids live in our duplex, but my son isn't home most of the day. Should I be concerned about what's going on with them? Everything in me is telling me something is not right. -- WORRIED IN WISCONSIN

DEAR WORRIED: I hope you are wrong, but if "everything in you" is telling you something is not right, listen to your intuition. Continue monitoring the situation and keep a journal of your observations.

If your marital relationship with your husband has changed, it's a red flag. Talk to him about it. It may take the services of a licensed marriage and family therapist to get your marriage back on track. Share the journal with your therapist during some of the sessions, or with your attorney, if the need arises.

DEAR ABBY: My mom died five years ago. I didn't talk to her the last few months before her death because of the extreme stress she put me under. I finally told my brother it was his turn to deal with her because she had always been sweet to him. I dealt with her issues for 40 years and could no longer continue. Mom was greedy, self-centered and narcissistic. She caused many issues between my brother and me.

My question concerns her ashes. I have them. My brother wanted nothing to do with them, and I don't know how to dispose of them. I have considered spreading them in the mountains since she liked camping and fishing, but I don't know if it is legal. Otherwise, they will sit in my basement forever. -- NEEDS A SOLUTION

DEAR NEEDS: Contact the funeral home or crematorium that handled your mother's remains and ask what the rules are in your state about the disposition of ashes. Because rules differ in different states, counties, etc., the people there would be in the best position to assist you.

DEAR ABBY: I have a relationship problem I hope you can help me with. I have loved this woman for years. We grew up together. We parted because I had to move away to Japan.

Well, a few years ago, we met again. We began to communicate, and all my feelings for her rushed back after all these years. I know she doesn't feel the same way about me. How can I let her know how bad it hurts, this unrequited love? -- SMITTEN IN THE WEST

DEAR SMITTEN: I don't think that's such a good idea. Knowing this woman doesn't reciprocate your feelings, do you really think informing her that "all those feelings have rushed back" will endear you? It may cause her embarrassment. You will be happier if you stop dwelling on your unrequited love from the past, resolve to live in the present and, from now on, look for companionship from candidates who are emotionally available.