DEAR ABBY: When my boss hired me as an assistant four years ago, she specifically told me my job was to do whatever the person above me wants. I wasn't allowed to communicate with anyone on the job other than the lady above me. Even though it was tough to watch my supervisor make so many bad decisions and get away with it, I did what was required of me.

Now I have worked my way up and have an assistant of my own. However, my boss has given my assistant much more than she ever gave me when I was in that position. Sometimes I feel like she acts like I'm not valued. I want to point it out, but I don't want to be that kind of person. I love what I do, but I don't know how much longer I can handle being treated this way.

Should I tell her how I feel? She constantly leaves me out of important decisions and then tries to play mind games to make up for it. She is also giving my assistant important information before telling me. I don't know what I should do. -- FRUSTRATED IN OREGON

DEAR FRUSTRATED: Many companies have annual reviews for employees in which subjects like the ones you have raised are discussed. If this isn't the case in your firm, ask for one.

During that conversation, tell your boss that sometimes you feel your efforts aren't valued and why. Remind her that you were instructed not to talk with anyone on the job other than the person immediately above you, and you feel undercut because your assistant is being given important information before it is shared with you. It may clear the air. However, if it doesn't, by all means start searching for another job, since you seem to be considering it anyway.

DEAR ABBY: I am worried about my kids and their social well-being. I understand we are in a pandemic. Our family has been responsible and socially distancing, but it seems like their friends have all been spending time together. Understandably, my kids are jealous and angry at their father and me for putting restrictions on them. But I am worried about their lack of social interaction and how it may affect their future. One of them has a harder time making friends and doesn't have many things in common with their peers, which led to spending more time at home when there was no pandemic. -- WORRIED MOM IN NEW YORK

DEAR WORRIED: Until the threat of COVID has been resolved, it's up to you as parents to decide how you restrict your children in relation to the pandemic. Of course you want to protect them, even if your choices aren't popular. Kids can be careless. They can forget to pull their masks up and stay socially distanced, and the results can be tragic. But there are relatively safe outdoor activities parents can plan to keep their children from being completely isolated.

As to your child who is less socially adept, this is a subject to discuss with his/her teachers or a child psychologist. Perhaps you can help by researching online interest groups this child can join that will connect them with other children -- under your supervision, of course.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have dear friends, one of whom has been diagnosed with untreatable cancer. The doctors told him to go home and maximize his quality of life. The first step he took was to completely cut us out.

We had been friends for years. They watched the big football games with us at our house. When he was diagnosed, I was the first person outside of his family he called. They stood up with us when we renewed our vows. I have cut cords of firewood for them. We traveled together.

Recently, the wife posted on Facebook that when undergoing trials you find out who your friends really are. We have been tossed aside like worn-out shoes.

My question is, when he passes, if we learn about it, would it be appropriate to attend the funeral to say goodbye to this man we dearly love and offer our condolences to the widow? -- ALREADY BEREAVED IN KANSAS

DEAR ALREADY BEREAVED: Everyone reacts differently after receiving a diagnosis like the one your friend received. Some people reach out for support, but a sizable number do the opposite. They "circle the wagons," which may be what this man has done.

It would be interesting to know if his wife was aware of the message you were given, because from what she posted, she may not have been. I think it is time to reach out to her privately and ask her how you can be supportive -- if only to her. And yes, when he passes you should pay your respects and offer condolences. Funerals are for the living.

DEAR ABBY: For the past few months I've been seeing a gentleman in his late 50s who lost his last girlfriend, "Vera," in a tragic accident. Her death was less than a year ago and he is still grieving, which I respect and am not uncomfortable with. My beau has low self-esteem. He thinks the relationship he had with Vera made him a better person, and that without her he will be less so.

I understand his sorrow and that he needs more time to sort through his feelings but, if things work out with us, and we continue to see each other, I want to know how I can also make him feel like I'm helping him be a better person. He says it was "just the relationship they had" and that he doesn't know how to put it into words.

I don't want to replace Vera or copy her, but I do wish I could understand what she did to help him believe positive things about himself. -- NEW GIRLFRIEND IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

DEAR GIRLFRIEND: In order to understand that, it would be helpful to see if he can explain the reason for his low self-esteem. Was it hypercritical parents? Difficulty fitting in with peers that started when he was in school? Not receiving enough positive feedback in his youth?

Once you gain more insight, you may be able to find the answers you are looking for. Both partners in a relationship should use whatever attributes they have to make each other feel positive. However, please recognize it should not be your responsibility to prop him up on a continuing basis.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 59-year-old man who was engaged to a 46-year-old woman. She told me she was going to leave for work on Friday, but I found out she was actually going on a vacation. She was pretending to go to work but driving to Georgia to meet a married man she met on a dating site instead.

We live in New Jersey, and it's a 13-hour drive. I found her phone the day before and deleted all his info, but she still drove down there to meet him. I am devastated and crushed. Any help or suggestions? I wish people who do this stuff could be tattooed on the forehead to warn other good people. -- HURT IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR HURT: I sympathize with your pain, which I am sure is considerable. I do have some advice, which I hope you will heed. Please realize that finding her phone before her departure was a gift to you from above. Thank your higher power that you now understand exactly who this woman is and didn't marry her.

The time has come to move forward resolutely. There are better days -- and better women -- ahead. I say this with certainty because you can't do worse than this one.

DEAR ABBY: I reached out recently to the daughter of my cousin who had just passed away. I offered condolences and a picture of her great-grandfather, who was my grandfather. I also shared some warm memories of her dad, my cousin.

She shot back with some seriously negative information about her dad's dad, my uncle. It really shook me. I didn't want to know that information. I barely knew my uncle, but my memories of the family all involved happy times together.

What she said shocked and saddened me. I wish I didn't know. I think people should speak well of those who are gone or say nothing. Don't you? -- UNPLEASANT IN THE WEST

DEAR UNPLEASANT: Most people tend to omit the unpleasant details when talking about someone who has passed on, but I do not think there are any hard-and-fast rules. I'm sorry you were upset about the dose of truth you received in exchange for your warm memories. But understand, I have read obituaries and listened to eulogies that were so sanitized I didn't recognize who was being discussed. Perhaps there is a happy medium.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 13-year-old with an addiction to screens. I sometimes pull overnighters on my phone. I'm starting to realize my limits. Sometimes I cannot trust myself with my actions, and I think I may need help. Do you have any advice? -- SEEING THE LIGHT IN MARYLAND

DEAR SEEING: It takes a brave person to admit they have a problem and be proactive in accepting that it may be something they can't solve on their own. I congratulate you for admitting it. You are not the only teen with this issue. Many people your age and older struggle with it, too.

Your next step should be to talk to your parents about your concerns and ask for help in breaking your screen addiction. This can sometimes involve more than going "cold turkey," and they may need to seek a referral from your doctor.