DEAR ABBY: I have a close friend who recently had a baby with serious health problems. Unfortunately, we live on opposite sides of the country, and I can't afford to fly out there. I want to help, but short of calls and texts to let her know I'm thinking of her, I'm out of ideas.

She's mentioned several times that with all the work of being a new parent plus the extra work involved with a child with special needs, she often doesn't have time to prepare healthy meals and reverts to junk food that she can grab easily. Ordinarily, I'd bring over a few meals to help out, but that's impossible to do when she's so far away.

Restaurant gift cards would be an option, but unfortunately she and her husband don't have the time to go to one. I'm hoping you might have other ideas on how I can help out from afar. -- PUZZLED ABOUT HELPING

DEAR PUZZLED: Go online and research food delivery services in the city or town where your friend lives. Some businesses deliver prepared meals on a weekly basis. Other companies ship boxes of wonderful fruits every month. But before doing anything, ask your overwhelmed friend what she and her husband think might be helpful rather than try to second-guess.

DEAR ABBY: I'd like to know if there is a nice way of asking my niece and her boyfriend, who are in their mid- to late-20s, not to bring their phones to the dinner table? I have spent days preparing for and cooking holiday meals. The evening was less than enjoyable for me because they were only partly there, and spent most of their time texting and presumably on Facebook.

It's awkward to ask an adult to practice good manners. Any words of wisdom will be much appreciated. -- WELL-MANNERED LADY IN THE WEST

DEAR LADY: Explain to your niece that you spend a lot of time, money and effort on presenting these meals, and that you were hurt and offended at their apparent lack of appreciation. It's the truth. Do not preoccupy yourself with trying to be nice or you will weaken the message. Some families solve this problem by insisting their guests place their cellphones in a basket before dinner and reclaim them as they depart. (Just a thought!)

DEAR ABBY: My friend from church casually mentioned that he and his wife recently helped themselves to several buckets of sand from a national park. I'm beside myself trying to understand how they can justify pillaging a natural resource so they can pretend they are at the beach. It's beyond selfish and just plain wrong. What can I say to convince them to return it? Can you help me navigate this conversation while still maintaining the friendship? -- SHOCKED IN HAWAII

DEAR SHOCKED: Start by pointing out to your friends that there are serious penalties for doing what he and his wife did. I ran your letter by my former personal assistant, Winni, who lives in Hawaii. She informed me that, according to the Department of Land and Natural Resources, stealing sand from the beaches is not only against the law, but also punishable with fines of upwards of $100,000.

DEAR ABBY: I am a middle-aged divorcee. I recently took up ballroom dancing, which has been a long-held dream, and I'm enjoying my life. However, there are few single men my age around. Most of the available men are 20 years older or 20 years younger.

From Day One, I have had a crush on one of the few men my age in the dance group. We eventually became best friends, spending all our free time together. I soon learned that he is married, but separated and looking to divorce. However, he has a crush of his own, and he talks to me about her constantly. We have so much in common, but he only has eyes for her.

I realize it isn't healthy for me to pine away for someone who doesn't think of me the way I think of him. Yet walking away would mean losing my dance partner and best friend and going back to sitting out dances, watching from the sidelines, or worse, sitting alone at home.

Do I maintain the status quo and suffer in silence over his rejection? Or would it be healthier to move on, upend my life and isolate myself from him when I have no other circle of friends to support me? -- DANCING AWAY IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR DANCING: Because of the pandemic, leave things as they are -- for now. However, as soon as it's feasible, find another dance group -- or two -- to join. If you do, you will establish other relationships with both women and men, and have a better chance of finding what you're looking for.

DEAR ABBY: My ex-wife, my son's mother, moved out a few years back and settled about six hours from us. We did halfway trips in the beginning so they could maintain a relationship, and I have even driven the whole way a few times to help with that.

Over the last two years, her interest has diminished, and they haven't seen each other at all. I've offered the halfway trip, even offered my couch if she came the entire way, especially around holidays. She hasn't taken me up on it.

Our son is now entering his teens, and I bought him a cellphone. She has his number, but doesn't call or text. She even missed his birthday. My problem is, he has started to recognize her lack of interest, and I can tell it hurts. I thought about changing his number and cutting her off altogether, like yanking off a bandage, but I don't know what's best. Please advise. -- SANE DAD IN MARYLAND

DEAR DAD: You are a loving and constant father. As you have realized, now that your son is getting older, he is becoming increasingly aware of his mother's emotional neglect.

I do not think you should change his number and cut her off from him. She's doing a good job of doing that herself. I do think it's important your son knows he can talk to you about anything and get honest answers. Something is clearly wrong with his mother. He should not go through life thinking her behavior was caused by anything lacking in himself, so if and when the subject comes up, answer his questions as kindly as you can.

DEAR ABBY: I am in a nearly two-year relationship with a man I love. In so many ways, this is the relationship I've always hoped for and, being in my early 30s, I'm feeling ready to settle down. The problem? He doesn't fight fair.

I have put an exorbitant amount of effort into remaining calm and loving during arguments to prevent our relationship from deteriorating, but he seems incapable of meeting me halfway. His unfair fighting comes in the form of aggressive tones, obscene faces, looking at his phone while I'm talking and sometimes ignoring me entirely.

These arguments are usually over minor issues that are nowhere near warranting a full-blown fight (for example, dishes not being done when he came home from work because I work from home and put it off to do during nonwork hours).

Our relationship is otherwise great, but if I'm going to commit to someone for life, I want them to be capable of having calm and healthy conversations. He thinks I'm controlling when I ask him not to use aggressive tones or make faces. What do I do? -- FIGHTING FAIR IN OREGON

DEAR FIGHTING: I will assume that the man you are in love with is around the same age as you. By the time someone reaches their 30s, their personalities are usually set. This man behaves the way he does because it works for him. It enables him to control you.

If he values your relationship, he should be willing to discuss this in couples counseling so these conversations are constructive rather than adversarial. If he isn't, however, keep looking for a more suitable mate because this Mister ain't Wonderful.

DEAR ABBY: I'd like to alert your readers to something that happened to me so it may keep it from happening to them. In her later years, my dear mother was afflicted with dementia. When it became clear she could no longer live alone, I went to live with her.

One day, I went looking for the albums of photos from when my brothers and I were kids, family vacations, etc. After searching high and low and not finding them, I asked Mom what had happened to them. Turns out, she threw them out because she didn't remember any of the people in the pictures! To say I was devastated would be an understatement.

I couldn't be angry with Mom. It wasn't her fault. But Abby, your readers need to know that it can happen to them. My mother has been gone for 10 years, and I still wish I had those photos. -- MISSING MEMORIES IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR MISSING: I'm glad you wrote. Your letter is a reminder that when family members begin to age, it's important to make the time to sit down with them and go through family pictures. My own dear mother urged her readers to not only review those photos, but also to write on the backs the date they were taken and the names of who is in them. This is a precious gift because memories do start to fade. It can stimulate wonderful conversations if people are willing to make the effort.