DEAR ABBY: I've been dating a guy for five years. We were high school classmates and became close friends shortly after that. Abby, he's the man of my dreams. I've been in love with him since we were 16 years old. We married other people, but we are divorced now and we are together.

We are both 46. I want to get married and he knows it. We have discussed it -- but every time I bring it up (and I always bring it up, he never does), he has an excuse. He says it's only a piece of paper, we've both already been married, I have some debt, etc.

I have a 19-year-old daughter, and he has two kids, 13 and 11. We all get along, even our exes. I am tired of being just "the girlfriend." This is not how I want to live the rest of my life. I have always wanted to be his wife.

He's a good man. He treats me great, is respectful, considerate and I love him so much. Must I suck it up and live and die as his girlfriend or leave because he doesn't want to get married? If I leave, I have no plans on dating or trying to marry anyone else. I'm fine alone. Please help. -- WANTS THE PIECE OF PAPER

DEAR WANTS: As you have framed it, your boyfriend -- whom you love very much -- doesn't want to formalize the relationship, and if you break things off, you don't plan to become involved with anyone else. If you are asking me for magic words that will convince your marriage-phobic boyfriend to make a permanent commitment, you are asking something that isn't possible. If he feels as strongly about you as you do him, he may come around one day, but there are no guarantees. And yes, you will have to "suck it up" if you're not prepared to leave, and while you're doing that, make the best of it.

DEAR ABBY: I've been dating a beautiful woman for a year now. We have fallen deeply in love. We have the kind of relationship that one can only dream of, and we couldn't be happier.

I've bought her some jewelry, including rings, to show her my love. She wears them, but she also wears jewelry, including rings, from past relationships. I told her this bothers me. She said those items don't have any sentimental value, she just likes them. I have no doubt she means that.

Should I overlook this and not let it bother me, or should I be more persistent? -- EXPRESSION OF LOVE

DEAR EXPRESSION: Your feelings are your feelings. Seeing your lady friend enjoy jewelry she received from other men bothers you. You have told her as much. While at one time the items were symbols of the affection her ex (exes?) had for her, to her they are now just jewelry. If you want to continue the relationship with her, place less importance on the baubles. They have nothing to do with you or the relationship you both enjoy now.

DEAR ABBY: My son had a yearlong affair with his wife's best friend, which started when the two families took vacations together. My husband and I have always been close to our daughter-in-law and our grandchildren, ages 6 and 10, as well as our son. The divorces are final now, and the lovers are married.

Abby, we can't stand the new wife. We abhor the deceit, the betrayal and the pain she and our son have caused. Now he is demanding that we accept her. We don't want to abandon our daughter-in-law, and I can't bear the thought of her and our grandchildren's inheritance going to the new wife. Also, I am so furious with my son for this selfish, egregious act I don't even like seeing him. I don't know what to do. Any advice? -- MOTHER OF A CHEATER

DEAR MOTHER: Depending upon the child custody arrangement between your son and his ex-wife, you may not have to spend much time with the happy newlyweds. Because you love your former daughter-in-law, see her as often as you wish and include her in celebrations. Refrain from acting out in anger. Be polite to your son's new wife. Say nothing you might later regret. You do not have to love -- or even like -- the woman.

As to what happens to your estate in the event of your and your husband's death, this is a discussion you should have with your lawyer. You are under no obligation to reward your son and the new Mrs., especially if you prefer to arrange for your grandchildren and the daughter-in-law you loved to have those assets.

DEAR ABBY: After living with my husband's gradual hearing loss for several years and his refusal to get hearing aids, I finally asked him to get them as a birthday gift to me. He agreed, and I expected that he would wear them once he got them. When he does, it greatly improves his hearing. Instances of my having to repeat myself diminish noticeably. But he seldom wears them when he's at home with me.

I mentioned to him several times how important it was to me, then gave up. I managed to deal with it until the pandemic forced us to stay home so much of the time. I brought it up again recently, referencing the stay-at-home order and how much I would appreciate his wearing them, but he still wears them only occasionally.

I feel disrespected because he isn't willing to do this small thing to make both our lives easier during this period of confinement. How do you suggest I explain this to him so he "hears" me? -- STILL FRUSTRATED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR STILL FRUSTRATED: This may not be a matter of your husband "tuning you out." Have you asked him WHY he doesn't wear the hearing aids? Could it be they are uncomfortable and need adjusting? Is inserting the batteries difficult because they are so tiny? Is he bothered by the amplified background noise? Once you know why he is resistant, you can consult the doctor who prescribed the devices.

DEAR ABBY: Our 21-year-old daughter has been home since March when the pandemic began. She has always been a homebody. Our house is small, and my wife and I no longer can be alone or be physically intimate because our daughter prevents it.

If we hug for an extended period of time, she will make a comment. If we want to watch a movie, she wants to hang out, and we can't watch it without her. My wife and I need privacy, and we need our adult daughter to cut the cord.

Our marriage really evolved and we grew even closer when "the kid" moved out for college. Now we can't escape her. I miss my wife and our alone time. What should we do? -- FRUSTRATED IN THE EAST

DEAR FRUSTRATED: This is your home, and your daughter needs to accommodate you, rather than the other way around. What you must do is have an adult conversation with your homebody daughter and explain that you and her mother need time alone. Establish a date night so she knows when to disappear.

I'm assuming that she has a job and friends. If that's the case, she should be accumulating enough money to live apart from you. If you are not only sheltering her but also supporting her, you will need to create a plan so your daughter can become independent. It may mean contributing to her rent for an agreed-upon period of time, if necessary, so be prepared.

DEAR ABBY: I was wondering if you could give me some advice on tipping. I frequent coffee shops in my area as well as when I travel. The baristas usually are younger women. Usually, there will be a tip jar located next to the cash register.

A typical latte costs $4 to $5, and I leave a dollar in the tip jar. I realize that many servers may be distracted if they're waiting on other customers, but is it normal for them to never acknowledge someone who is giving them a tip? Is the tip just expected?

Again, I realize there could be distractions, and maybe the baristas don't notice me tipping them, but it seems like the rule rather than the exception. I think it comes across as lousy customer service. How hard is it to say "thank you"? Is this another example of a generation of poorly raised people? -- SIPPING & TIPPING IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR S & T: It's not only good manners but also good business to thank clients/patrons -- just as it's considered proper etiquette to thank the person who served you. I hesitate to paint an entire generation with the same brush, but the individuals you are dealing with could benefit from a refresher course in courtesy.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 56, disabled and live with my mom, who is 86. I'm really scared of what's going to happen to me when she passes. -- SCARED IN NEVADA

DEAR SCARED: You should not be in limbo regarding this question because your concern is valid. It's important that you talk to your mother about your fears and ask her that question. The answer may involve her estate and whether she has a will that provides for you in the event of her death. I am hoping that her answer will put your mind at ease.