DEAR ABBY: Our 21-year-old daughter has been home since March when the pandemic began. She has always been a homebody. Our house is small, and my wife and I no longer can be alone or be physically intimate because our daughter prevents it.

If we hug for an extended period of time, she will make a comment. If we want to watch a movie, she wants to hang out, and we can't watch it without her. My wife and I need privacy, and we need our adult daughter to cut the cord.

Our marriage really evolved and we grew even closer when "the kid" moved out for college. Now we can't escape her. I miss my wife and our alone time. What should we do? -- FRUSTRATED IN THE EAST

DEAR FRUSTRATED: This is your home, and your daughter needs to accommodate you, rather than the other way around. What you must do is have an adult conversation with your homebody daughter and explain that you and her mother need time alone. Establish a date night so she knows when to disappear.

I'm assuming that she has a job and friends. If that's the case, she should be accumulating enough money to live apart from you. If you are not only sheltering her but also supporting her, you will need to create a plan so your daughter can become independent. It may mean contributing to her rent for an agreed-upon period of time, if necessary, so be prepared.

DEAR ABBY: I was wondering if you could give me some advice on tipping. I frequent coffee shops in my area as well as when I travel. The baristas usually are younger women. Usually, there will be a tip jar located next to the cash register.

A typical latte costs $4 to $5, and I leave a dollar in the tip jar. I realize that many servers may be distracted if they're waiting on other customers, but is it normal for them to never acknowledge someone who is giving them a tip? Is the tip just expected?

Again, I realize there could be distractions, and maybe the baristas don't notice me tipping them, but it seems like the rule rather than the exception. I think it comes across as lousy customer service. How hard is it to say "thank you"? Is this another example of a generation of poorly raised people? -- SIPPING & TIPPING IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR S & T: It's not only good manners but also good business to thank clients/patrons -- just as it's considered proper etiquette to thank the person who served you. I hesitate to paint an entire generation with the same brush, but the individuals you are dealing with could benefit from a refresher course in courtesy.

DEAR ABBY: I'm 56, disabled and live with my mom, who is 86. I'm really scared of what's going to happen to me when she passes. -- SCARED IN NEVADA

DEAR SCARED: You should not be in limbo regarding this question because your concern is valid. It's important that you talk to your mother about your fears and ask her that question. The answer may involve her estate and whether she has a will that provides for you in the event of her death. I am hoping that her answer will put your mind at ease.

DEAR ABBY: I have been a nurse for 10 years and love taking care of my patients. I have worked at a midsize hospital for 2 1/2 years.

Since I started working here, we have been assigned six or seven patients at a time, although I was told when I was hired they were going to hire enough nurses to have a 4-to-1 ratio. It not only hasn't happened, but the administration keeps piling on paperwork for the nurses to complete.

I have anxiety, and this is about to cause me to break. I love my job, and I don't want to leave. I just wish they would be more considerate of their nurses instead of making them feel like I do right now, which is wanting to find something else.

Should I say something to my charge nurse about how I'm feeling? I'm afraid if I do, I'll be pushed out of this job. Adding to my anxiety is that my daughter now works at the same facility, and I'm afraid if I say anything they will punish her. Please offer me your advice. -- ANXIOUS R.N. IN ALABAMA

DEAR ANXIOUS R.N.: Because you feel the stress is becoming too much, I do think you should address it with your charge nurse. It's the truth. Because the pandemic has increased the workload on all medical caregivers, you are far from alone in feeling overwhelmed.

When you speak up, do not couch it in terms of the fact that your employers haven't followed through on their promises. Do it strictly in terms of the effect it is having on you. I doubt you will be fired, because experienced nurses are in such high demand right now. However, if you are let go and your daughter is questioned about it, all she should say is that the workload and the stress became too much for you. Speaking your truth should be no reflection on her.

DEAR ABBY: New neighbors moved into my apartment building about a month ago. I don't mind that sometimes I hear their kids. I don't mind that sometimes I hear the adults. BUT! Their alarm clock wakes me up every morning at 6 a.m. It's loud, and I'm guessing it's up against the adjoining wall.

Normally, I sleep until 8. I work from home, and I'm usually up until 1 a.m. or so. I'm a night owl, and I simply can't go to sleep any earlier.

It's impossible to sleep through their alarm. It has been weeks. I am afraid if I complain they will call me a racist since I am white, and they are black. But it's NOT a race thing; it's a sleep thing. What should I do? -- SLEEPLESS IN BALTIMORE

DEAR SLEEPLESS: Write a polite note to the new neighbors and introduce yourself. Explain the problem you are experiencing and ask if they can help you by either moving their alarm clock to a different part of their bedroom or adjusting the ring to make it softer. (It could be as simple as placing their clock on a soft surface like a towel.) If they are unwilling to cooperate, as a last resort try earplugs and talk to the building manager about the noise problem.

DEAR ABBY: I'm responding to the letter from "Open-and-Shut Case in Virginia" (Oct. 20), who complained her son-in-law was "disrespectful" because he didn't close cupboard doors, cereal boxes, etc. My guess is that "Kirk" is displaying classic symptoms of Adult Attention Deficit Disorder (AADD). Multistep tasks may be difficult for him to complete because he is easily distracted.

My husband has this. (It was not diagnosed until he was in his 50s, and I had nearly torn all my hair out.) He still occasionally leaves cabinet doors and drawers open. I tease him that he can't remember to walk from one side of the room to another if he forgets to take his medication.

I strongly recommend that Kirk be evaluated by a behavioral psychologist for AADD. Treatment may save the relationship between Kirk and his in-laws. -- WIFE OF A MAN WITH A.A.D.D.

DEAR WIFE: Thank you for your letter. I received a deluge of responses about the letter from "Open-and-Shut Case in Virginia," and the vast majority of the writers mentioned ADD, ADHD and AADD. Many of them recommended patience on the part of the in-laws and volunteered that Kirk may be able to manage the disorder if he is diagnosed.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 73-year-old retired woman who still maintains contact with a number of old and new friends for movies, dinner, museum visits, etc. Until the COVID virus, we did things often. Now, not so much.

Someone in this group told me that on a couple of occasions, a few of them were not very nice when my name came up. ("Why doesn't she see her grandkids more often?" "She goes out more than most, yet doesn't want to eat in certain restaurants.") My husband and I have a good marriage, but many of these ladies are widowed or divorced. How do you handle backstabbing at this age? -- MYSTIFIED IN NEW YORK

DEAR MYSTIFIED: Try not to take it personally. Obviously, these gossips have less to occupy their minds than one would hope. You might also consider seeing these particular individuals even less often than you already do in the age of COVID. If you do, it may give them less ammunition concerning what you do (or don't do) with your time.

DEAR ABBY: I began using a wheelchair two years ago. Since then a dear friend of roughly 30 years has become fixated on my disability. While we once shared a deep, close "BFF" relationship, she now speaks to me in baby talk and only shows an interest in my physical limitations. I feel objectified, hurt and disappointed.

I have mentioned to her that I prefer to focus on other things in life, and she responds with platitudes like, "The body is just a shell," and "All that matters is the heart," but her actions tell me otherwise. I hate to end this friendship, but I am at the end of my rope. Any advice? -- PATRONIZED IN ARIZONA

DEAR PATRONIZED: If you haven't done it already, tell this person that you no longer wish to discuss your disability and you prefer she stop raising the subject and treating you differently. Period. If she continues to pursue the subject after that, make your visits less frequent, if they happen at all.