DEAR ABBY: When I was 21, my grandparents told me, "It's better to be loved than to be right." Fifty years later, I'm still trying to follow that advice because it's so true. Sometimes it is very hard to practice, but I will never forget those words. -- KEN IN SHERMAN OAKS, CALIF.

DEAR KEN: Anything that encourages folks to get along better is good advice in my book. People sometimes place too much importance on trying to be right. Now, allow me to share an adage with you that I learned from my grandfather: "I never learned anything while I was talking."

DEAR ABBY: I have been married for seven years and have two beautiful children. My husband and I both work full-time, yet I do almost all of the household chores. I have asked him repeatedly to help ease my workload and stress by dividing the chores more equitably, but my requests are met minimally and temporarily. This has caused arguments, tension and resentment.

He says, "You and I value different things," or, "This isn't what I want to focus on at home," or, "Your standards are too high and have negatively impacted your relationship with our kids." I do ask our kids to clean up routinely because I want them to be active members of this household, and this is how I was raised.

It's putting a strain on my marriage and affecting my feelings toward my husband. Do I need to let this go? Or are my priorities misplaced? -- OUT OF BALANCE IN RHODE ISLAND

DEAR OUT OF BALANCE: From your husband's perspective, why should he have to help with the housework if he can jawbone you into doing the lion's share? Perhaps you should offer him a choice -- participate more or someone will have to be hired to take some of the burden off your shoulders.

As to your children, please stick to your guns. It is important they master basic housekeeping skills so that when they become adults, they will be able to take care of themselves. Few children relish the idea of doing housework, but many of them do it anyway as a way to earn an allowance.

DEAR ABBY: I was happily married to the same woman for 51 years. "Jane" was married 42 years to the same man. We were both widowed. We hooked up and were enjoying our time together, but after about three years it all changed.

Do you believe in split personalities, the Jekyll and Hyde thing? Jane started falsely accusing me of having affairs with other women. The last two women she accused me of being involved with I don't even know. The accusations have been coming more frequently. One day she's fine; the next day she is accusing me.

Jane doesn't like vulgar language, and normally she doesn't use it. But when she's accusing me of communicating with these women, she uses words that would make a sailor blush! A researcher's first guess was the early stages of Alzheimer's. I know she is paranoid, but why? -- HATES THE CHANGE IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR HATES: A personality change such as you have described can be a symptom of Alzheimer's disease, but it can also be caused by small strokes and other dementias. Jane's paranoia could also be a symptom of a physical illness. If she has family, it is very important that you inform them about what's happening so they -- and you -- can encourage her to be evaluated physically and neurologically. If you do, it might save not only her life but also your sanity.

DEAR ABBY: I divorced my wife 20 years ago, leaving behind two daughters. My older girl was 5 when I left, and due to my ex's lies, I wasn't able to see them.

When my older daughter turned 18, she contacted me. She confessed that she had been forced to lie in court, and we reconnected. At 19, she came to me pregnant. She asked if I would take her baby and asked that I tell no one, especially her mother. I agreed.

Last year, my daughter died in a car wreck. My granddaughter will turn 4. Should I go against my daughter's wishes, tell my ex and risk her taking her? Or should I let things remain as they are? My current wife and I are the only people who know. -- SECRET IN VIRGINIA

DEAR SECRET: I urge you to discuss this matter with a lawyer because there may be legal ramifications. Your former wife has demonstrated she is the kind of person who would force a child to lie in a custody matter. Having done it once, she's capable of doing something equally underhanded. I am trying hard to come up with a reason why you should go against your daughter's wishes and disclose this to your ex, and I cannot think of a single one.

DEAR ABBY: I'm concerned about my daughter. She's 12 and wants to hang out with a 21-year-old male volunteer from her school. His mother works there, and I've known their family for a few years, although we've never socialized.

Recently, my daughter said she wants to meet him at a park to learn some skateboard moves. She tries to tell me it's harmless, that he just likes the skateboarding sport, but I am uncomfortable about the age difference and the fact that he works at her school. I don't know what to do. What's your advice in this situation? -- STUMPED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR STUMPED: Although the young man's motives may be pure, I do not think your daughter should be meeting him at the park without supervision. Accompany her so you can gauge the situation. Because he is volunteering at her school, you should first check to see if that kind of fraternization is allowed because it may not be, and it could cost him his position.

DEAR ABBY: Am I awful because I don't sympathize when people put their business on the internet? For example, I read some comments on YouTube, and this woman was talking about how "all men cheat." I told her maybe it's just all the men she opens her legs to. My account was suspended for a week because of it.

Another time, a man was talking about how none of his many kids talk to him. I asked what he had done to them that none of them speak to him, and he got mad. Abby, I'm not looking for trouble. I feel that if you can't take someone not kissing up to you, stop putting your business out there. Am I wrong? -- STRAIGHTFORWARD IN THE WEST

DEAR STRAIGHTFORWARD: I think so. When traits were handed out, it appears someone forgot to give you a filter. I agree that some people overshare online and doing it comes with a risk. However, your comments weren't helpful; in fact, they were cruel. When a bee stings, its prey tries to swat it away, and that's what's happening to you. To avoid trouble, curb your impulse to comment, or be prepared to deal with the consequences that are sure to follow.

DEAR ABBY: In middle school, I had a crush on a boy. He didn't even know I existed. Through a chance meeting many years later, he noticed me, but there were complications. He didn't know how to tell his ex it was too late for her, and it became a love triangle. She saw the error of her ways and left. He and I have been together ever since. He still talked to her as they had been friends forever, but two months ago he stopped.

Meanwhile, through all of this, she has been cyber-stalking and manipulating me. She has created multiple Facebook accounts to torture me, sent me a video of my boyfriend doing sexual things and tried to make me believe it was current. (It was five years old.)

He cut off contact with her, and it was glorious until last week, when she helped him get back in touch with his son, whom he hasn't seen in 10-plus years. I see it for the manipulation it is, but he sees it as her redemption. He doesn't care that it hurts me, and he refuses to get rid of her.

She has slandered me all over Facebook, and I don't think he should expect me to be OK with this or for him to even WANT a person like that in his life. He was AMAZING without her influence. How do I get him back to that person? I miss him so much! -- ANGUISHED IN ARIZONA

DEAR ANGUISHED: Let me get this straight. This man cheated on his ex with you, and you expected her to play fair? I wish you had mentioned why your boyfriend hasn't seen his son in more than 10 years. It might have been the most interesting paragraph in your letter. Were he and his ex married? Just living together while she was "in denial"?

From where I sit, she is doing everything she can to fight for "her man." He appears to have fences to mend with his son and with her, and you may have to accept it. It looks like he has already made up his mind about that, and unless you can accept it, your romance will be over. Only you can decide whether staying with this person is worth the drama.

DEAR ABBY: My sister-in-law moved into the house next door three years ago. While I enjoy her company and like her as a person, I'm having difficulty expressing my frustration with one particular issue.

I have a beautiful hedge that separates our driveways and provides privacy. She regularly leaves her garbage can lids on top of my hedge as well as various other things she's discarding (eventually). Today I noticed a large portion of the shrub showing what appears to be a chemical burn. (She has been known to use toxic chemicals to rid her yard of weeds, etc.) I don't want to offend her, but at the same time, I'm struggling to find the words to properly address my desire for her to mind the property line. Help! -- RELATED TO MY NEIGHBOR

DEAR RELATED: This is something you should have addressed when the problem started. Approach her calmly and say something like this: "It bothers me that you leave your trash can lids and other items on my hedge. When you do, it makes me feel disrespected. Something you left on the hedge has damaged it. My hedge was expensive to install, and this is upsetting me. Please don't do it again."