DEAR ABBY: Although I have been divorced from my ex for eight years, we still live together. There is not -- nor will there ever be -- more than a platonic relationship between us, and I have made that abundantly clear to him.

It wasn't always a bad situation, but now it's worse than I could have ever imagined it would be. He drinks heavily on a daily basis and becomes verbally abusive. He has a woman over a lot, and I can't sleep when she's here.

She's a drunk, too, and she also abuses her prescription medications. At least half the time when she's here, I have to lift her passed-out body off the floor and drag her off to his bedroom. She steals money, cigarettes, food and booze all the time.

He dismisses me when I bring up her behavior. He tells me to shut up or get out. I pay for everything except the rent and homeowner's insurance. Cable, electric, oil, propane and groceries are my responsibility. I also do all the inside and outside chores. I earn less than he does, but I pay more than he does.

He tells me what to eat and who I can talk to. I can't have company. Yet he wants to know why I'm not dating. I can't save any money so I can get out. I'm stuck, and he knows it. What do I do? -- HORRIBLE SITUATION IN MAINE

DEAR HORRIBLE SITUATION: You owe this man nothing. You are being treated like a serf, and it has been going on far too long. If you have family or friends you can stay with until you save enough for a place of your own, start asking now. That should enable you to save more money because you won't be paying for cable, electricity, propane, etc. for your ex.

P.S. When the girlfriend passes out, do not lift or drag her anywhere. That is your ex's privilege and not your responsibility. With the load you're already carrying, the last thing you need is a strained back.

DEAR ABBY: I am at high risk for COVID. My oldest son and his family live an hour and a half away. They have two children at home. Their daughter is also at high risk.

During this pandemic, they have continually posted photos of themselves and the kids maskless with friends, hugging each other and acting as if life is normal. My daughter-in-law has told me she's "scared" and does the "wear a mask" thing and shares routine online posts, etc., yet she continues having people over.

In normal circumstances, it's difficult for me to visit. I want to visit them, but every time I consider it, I see them on social media with someone else, sans mask and no social distancing. I'm sure they would say their friends are all healthy, but none of us can know for certain who their friends have been around. It's like dominoes, and it's scary.

I don't know how to explain this to them because I know they will feel I'm being ridiculous. Also, my DIL is super sensitive and would be hurt and insulted. I love them. I don't want to alienate them. I'm ready to just take my chances, although my other daughter is against it. What should I do? -- CAUTIOUS IN NEW YORK

DEAR CAUTIOUS: Many people have grown complacent about mask wearing and social distancing. That's unfortunate because, as I write this, "mask fatigue" has led to an increase in the number of people testing positive for the virus. Your concerns are valid, and I hope you will stick to your guns. As a member of a high-risk group, your life could depend on it.

DEAR ABBY: I was married to my wife for 29 years, and I have now been divorced for two. I have tried to move on, but I can't because I still love her. She initiated the divorce because she thought I cheated on her. I didn't fight her because I was too macho.

I don't know if I miss her or feel sorry for myself because I haven't been with a woman in more than two years. I'm attracted to women who are at least 15 years younger than me or who are married.

I have been on two dating sites for almost a year and even moved back to the state where my ex-wife lives hoping that one day she will ask me out. I've been throwing hints her way and have even written her letters, but she still thinks I cheated. I ache for her. What should I do? -- FIGHTING CHANCE IN THE EAST

DEAR FIGHTING CHANCE: Your marriage is history, and your "exaggerated masculinity" caused it. I am struck by the fact that nowhere in your letter did you deny that what your ex-wife thought was true. I don't understand what being "macho" has to do with not denying you cheated. What you should do now is learn from it, grow from it and move on.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and his father had a falling out. My husband's father now has hired a lawyer to get the pictures and Vietnam medals back that he had given my husband as a gift years ago. This is his only son.

We have two sons whom my husband would like to pass the medals down to. He knows if he gives the medals back that he may never see them again because his dad has a girlfriend now who wants them. She's behind him pursuing the issue with a lawyer.

How can I help my husband? Should he give in to his father's demands and return the medals and pictures, or should he fight to keep them? -- MIDDLE OF A MESS

DEAR MIDDLE: How old are your sons? Because of this rift, do they still have a relationship with their grandfather? Would they appreciate the war medals and understand what they stand for?

My feeling is that you should stay out of the line of fire and allow your husband and his own lawyer to fight this battle. However, you may be able to sway the outcome if you or your sons write your father-in-law a warm letter telling him how sad you feel about the situation and that his medals are heirlooms they and their children would treasure in the future. Then cross your fingers.

DEAR ABBY: At what age does a person stop calling an older neighbor "Mrs." or "Mr."? I was born next door and still live here, so I don't know what to call my neighbors anymore. -- GROWN UP NORTH

DEAR GROWN: Before children reach adulthood, it is considered respectful to call adults "Mr." and "Mrs." Not knowing your neighbors, I can't guess how formal they may be. Because using their first names has not been your practice and you don't want to risk offending them, ask them what they would like to be called in light of the fact that you are all adults. Erring on the side of respect will never be wrong.

DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my husband 25 years as of today. (We've been a couple for 32 years.) He has done absolutely nothing to commemorate this. I reminded him months ago to save for something because it was very important to me. My friends would have happily helped him do something.

Every year it's the same old nothing. He asked me to remind him and I did, but it made no difference. Same with my birthday. Yes, we have been in better positions financially than now. But if something was important to him, he always saved for it. I have money put away we could have used, and he knew this. Yet nothing.

The only time he shows me any kind of emotion or love/sex is when he's drunk. But he swears he loves me. I don't suspect cheating. He doesn't care what he looks like when we go places. I always try to look my best.

I'm at the end of my rope. This 25th anniversary really hurt me. He said we'll do something when he can. I can't take it anymore. I feel worthy of nothing, like I don't matter. What do I do? -- ANNIVERSARY SADNESS

DEAR ANNIVERSARY SADNESS: If the only time your husband shows you any kind of affectionate attention is when he is drunk, you have bigger problems than the fact that he "forgets" special occasions. Is this the way you want to spend the next 25 years of your life?

Receiving gifts does not make a person "worthy." You need to work on your level of self-esteem. As expensive as a celebration might have been, a gift you could both benefit from would be couples counseling.

DEAR ABBY: I have a wonderful mother-in-law who recently turned 92. For the past five or so years, she has struggled with urinary incontinence and uses adult diapers. However, her urine really stinks. I don't think she changes her diaper often enough, and the smell is really strong throughout the day. I'm also afraid that by not changing often enough, she may get an infection.

Her children refuse to discuss the issue with her, so nothing is being done to change the situation. I find myself distancing from her since I can't stand the smell. I have researched the topic, and I don't think there's anything that can be done to address the incontinence issue due to her age and other medical issues. However, I think if she drank more fluids so her urine wouldn't be so concentrated, the smell wouldn't be so bad. I have talked to her about drinking more water for other reasons, but she doesn't want to because then she would need to urinate more.

I really love my MIL, but I can't stand to be near her. I feel like I'm only the daughter-in-law and that any discussions should come from her children, but they don't want to bring it up with her. What can be done? -- KEEPING MY DISTANCE

DEAR KEEPING: Has your mother-in-law seen a urologist and been told nothing can be done about her incontinence problem, or is she so embarrassed she hasn't seen one? Because her children refuse to discuss this with their mother, the ball is in your court. Please talk to her and urge her to see a doctor. Because when people age their sense of smell can diminish, she may not be aware that she has the problem you're describing.

She does need to drink more water and change her diaper more often than she's doing. Her mental and physical health could depend upon it. But she also needs to see a urologist.