DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my husband 25 years as of today. (We've been a couple for 32 years.) He has done absolutely nothing to commemorate this. I reminded him months ago to save for something because it was very important to me. My friends would have happily helped him do something.

Every year it's the same old nothing. He asked me to remind him and I did, but it made no difference. Same with my birthday. Yes, we have been in better positions financially than now. But if something was important to him, he always saved for it. I have money put away we could have used, and he knew this. Yet nothing.

The only time he shows me any kind of emotion or love/sex is when he's drunk. But he swears he loves me. I don't suspect cheating. He doesn't care what he looks like when we go places. I always try to look my best.

I'm at the end of my rope. This 25th anniversary really hurt me. He said we'll do something when he can. I can't take it anymore. I feel worthy of nothing, like I don't matter. What do I do? -- ANNIVERSARY SADNESS

DEAR ANNIVERSARY SADNESS: If the only time your husband shows you any kind of affectionate attention is when he is drunk, you have bigger problems than the fact that he "forgets" special occasions. Is this the way you want to spend the next 25 years of your life?

Receiving gifts does not make a person "worthy." You need to work on your level of self-esteem. As expensive as a celebration might have been, a gift you could both benefit from would be couples counseling.

DEAR ABBY: I have a wonderful mother-in-law who recently turned 92. For the past five or so years, she has struggled with urinary incontinence and uses adult diapers. However, her urine really stinks. I don't think she changes her diaper often enough, and the smell is really strong throughout the day. I'm also afraid that by not changing often enough, she may get an infection.

Her children refuse to discuss the issue with her, so nothing is being done to change the situation. I find myself distancing from her since I can't stand the smell. I have researched the topic, and I don't think there's anything that can be done to address the incontinence issue due to her age and other medical issues. However, I think if she drank more fluids so her urine wouldn't be so concentrated, the smell wouldn't be so bad. I have talked to her about drinking more water for other reasons, but she doesn't want to because then she would need to urinate more.

I really love my MIL, but I can't stand to be near her. I feel like I'm only the daughter-in-law and that any discussions should come from her children, but they don't want to bring it up with her. What can be done? -- KEEPING MY DISTANCE

DEAR KEEPING: Has your mother-in-law seen a urologist and been told nothing can be done about her incontinence problem, or is she so embarrassed she hasn't seen one? Because her children refuse to discuss this with their mother, the ball is in your court. Please talk to her and urge her to see a doctor. Because when people age their sense of smell can diminish, she may not be aware that she has the problem you're describing.

She does need to drink more water and change her diaper more often than she's doing. Her mental and physical health could depend upon it. But she also needs to see a urologist.

DEAR ABBY: I'm writing because I'm torn. My mother-in-law recently retired and wants to gift stocks to all of her grandchildren. However, my husband refuses to accept them on behalf of our son. We also didn't deposit her wedding and baby shower gifts to us. (Both were checks.) We just kept them because I felt it was the right thing to do.

However, in this case, I appreciate and would gladly accept the stocks. Her gift would pay for my son's higher education. My husband feels we can't accept everything he's given. I think he's being stubborn, not thinking about his son and letting his ego get in the way. What do you think about this? -- THINKING OF THE FUTURE

DEAR THINKING: Why am I thinking you omitted an important paragraph (or two) from your letter? The one describing your husband's troubled relationship with his mother. That relationship should be separate from hers with her grandchild.

She was generous with her wedding and shower gifts. (The checks should probably be destroyed at this late date because they can no longer be cashed.) As to the gift of stocks she wants to give your son, I see no rational reason why they shouldn't be accepted, acknowledged and saved to be used for the purpose for which they are intended. Your husband's stance on this is irrational and will serve no purpose other than to penalize the boy -- and both of you.

DEAR ABBY: My 29-year-old daughter just moved out on her own from the bedroom she has occupied since she was 7 months old and into a nice place. She has been dating "Ben" for five years. She has helped Ben and stuck by him. Despite the fact that Ben doesn't have a degree, my daughter has helped him improve his potential, and he now has licenses and gets well-paying jobs.

When he met my daughter, he lived with his mom. My daughter gave him the push to get his own place and helped him decorate. Ben is eight years older than she is and has a 9-year-old daughter from a previous relationship, whom my daughter gets along with.

I guess because parents have expectations for their kids, I thought by now there would have been some sort of talk about their future. She and Ben are still together, but I don't know if this relationship is headed anywhere. I like him, and I have a great relationship with my daughter. I don't want to intrude on her private life. What can I do to get them to move toward the future? -- CARING DAD IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR DAD: You are certainly free to have the discussion with your daughter, but as much as you love her, this is not your journey. It's hers and Ben's. Don't be a back-seat driver. They are enjoying the present, and the future will take care of itself.

DEAR ABBY: My 34-year-old daughter lives with me to get ahead on her student loans. She has a good job, pays rent and has a serious boyfriend. My niece, her cousin, recently died by suicide, and naturally, we are all devastated, but my daughter took the news especially hard. I had to be out of town for three weeks, and during this time she has been spending time with my sister-in-law's family as they all navigate this tragedy.

My niece left behind several pets -- dogs and a mama cat with kittens. My daughter called me, announced she had brought a kitten home and declared that this kitten has helped her in her grief process. I am livid that she didn't ask me first (she knew the answer would be a firm "no"). She's now claiming that I don't care about her grief.

I feel emotionally blackmailed, and I'm dreading the confrontation when I get home. This kitten has taken this devastating tragedy to a new level. How should I handle this? -- FAMILY GRIEF

DEAR FAMILY GRIEF: While I understand your feelings, handle it by being less hard-nosed about the fact that your daughter didn't follow protocol by asking permission before bringing home the kitten. Allow her to keep it, and during those times when she can't be home because she's working, etc., encourage her to leave the little furball with her boyfriend. Make plain that the creature is -- and will be -- her responsibility, meaning she will be responsible for feeding, vet bills, litter box, etc. And, most important of all, try not to fall in love with it because when your daughter leaves, Kitty will be going with her.

DEAR ABBY: I am a straight female. I have been divorced for 10-plus years and recently decided, after five years of trying to attract a new man through online dating, that I want to be single and celibate for the rest of my life.

Literally days after I wrote the decision in my journal, guys are coming at me out of the woodwork, chatting me up, even giving unsolicited hugs. I'm bewildered.

I subscribed to a dating site for a full-year membership and got not one single reply to any of my messages. Not one! I also tried a different dating site, where my friend met her spouse. It yielded crickets. No man ever messaged me to say, "Hey, I like your photo and want to know more about you." This reinforces my decision that I want nothing to do with men. -- LEAVE ME ALONE

DEAR LEAVE ME ALONE: And your question is? If you are asking me to validate a decision you made out of frustration after a year of terrible luck, I can't in good conscience do that. We can't run from life because we are afraid of the pain of being open. That is the coward's choice.

If men are showing an interest, allow them to get to know you and vice versa, instead of hiding. Be present and live your life in situations that include available people, which sometimes yields better results than the pressure of online dating.