DEAR ABBY: Two years ago, my husband of 50 years confessed that 46 years ago, shortly after our son was born, he had a one-night stand with a total stranger he gave a ride to. She offered sex to him, and they went to a hotel for the brief encounter. He said he had totally forgotten about it until recently. He said he was very upset when he remembered, to the point that he felt sick.

He decided to tell me because he didn't want any secrets between us, and he asked me to forgive him. I forgave him, but I have been devastated ever since. He was a virgin when we married, and he has been unfaithful only that one time.

Abby, I cannot get over the fact that he did this to me. Not a single day goes by without the pain and the images of him being unfaithful in a marriage that I considered to be nearly perfect until then, take hold of me and make me very sad. I don't cry as much anymore, but the intensity of the pain hasn't subsided.

I haven't talked to anyone else about this. My husband loves me and has been very supportive, but it hasn't been enough to heal this pain. Your words of wisdom will be appreciated. -- WOUNDED IN FLORIDA

DEAR WOUNDED: So your husband chose to ease his guilty conscience about this one-time infidelity 46 years ago and lay it on you. It would have been kinder had he "confessed" to his spiritual adviser.

Focus on the fact that what happened (once) four years into your marriage is less relevant than the quality of the relationship you have shared during the ensuing nearly half-century. Because it has been two years since your husband told you and you are still in emotional pain, consider enlisting the help of a licensed marriage and family therapist. Talking it out may help these feelings to dissipate so you will no longer be haunted by the images in your head. Please do not wait to do this. Your physician is the first person to ask for a referral.

DEAR ABBY: I have read about how narcissistic, angry, depressed people shame others and spread lies on social media. May I take a moment to remind your readers that they do not have to have social media? I stopped looking at it two years ago, after the death of my sister. People said some horrible things, so I decided enough is enough -- I'm done. Not only have I not missed it, I'm much more peaceful and less stressed. I connect with people I love through email, texting and sometimes good old-fashioned letter-writing. That works for me. -- FREEDOM REGAINED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR FREEDOM REGAINED: I have received an increasing number of letters from people about problems in which there is a social media element. For those who have become overwhelmed, I recommend limiting time spent online. For people who have been victimized by trolls, another solution is to simply block or delete them.

I'm sharing your suggestion for anyone who might need it -- and I suspect there may be quite a few. However, disconnecting from social media does take more effort because the dropouts must decide not only who they wish to communicate with but also by what means to do it.

DEAR ABBY: With the holidays fast approaching, I'm starting to think about shopping. Honestly, I'm tired of shopping for adults who don't need anything. Finding gifts for them becomes more daunting each year. I think gift cards and direct money are tacky Christmas presents.

Do you think it would be odd to ask my adult children and other family members to select a charity they would like me to donate to instead of buying them gifts that just take up more room? This year has been hard on many people financially, but most of my family members are lucky enough to still be working through everything that has happened. I think charities could use a boost. -- NEW IDEA IN FLORIDA

DEAR NEW IDEA: I am sure they could. Your idea is terrific, and it reminded me of a letter I printed many years ago, which I have edited because of space limitations. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: Like many families, we have wrestled with the "What do we get for people who have everything?" dilemma. Last year, our family finally hit upon a solution. We discussed it with our grandparents. They agreed it would be more charitable for us to give something to people who lack everyday necessities, so we adopted a battered children's shelter. Those little ones are truly refugees. They need everything from toothbrushes and hairbrushes to baby formula and diapers -- not to mention toys and games.

To our delight, our neighbors got involved in our project, too. For weeks, on Thursdays, neighbors would leave donations in a sack by their mailbox, and we would pick them up. Our goal was for every child in that shelter to wake up on Christmas morning to find packages of necessities and a few playthings.

The project created so much excitement among our neighbors that we collected enough for two shelters. There were pillows, socks, underwear, bath products, cold medicines, books, towels, baby clothes, etc. Each child also got a large gift basket, including a nonbreakable tree ornament to help him or her remember this holiday.

The cost was small when spread over so many families, but the rewards couldn't have been greater. We felt our project embodied the true spirit of Christmas. It sensitized our children to the needs of others all year long.

Because it was one of the best holidays we have ever had, we're repeating the drive again this year. When people join together, everyone CAN make a difference. -- SANTA'S HELPERS IN PHOENIX

DEAR SANTA'S HELPERS: Your signature describes you fittingly. With that in mind, I hope readers will be sensitive to the needs of charities in their local communities this year. Because monies that would ordinarily have been donated to local charities may have been diverted in other directions, many charities are having difficulty raising enough to meet their budgets. Remember, folks, charity begins at home -- and by that I mean the communities in which you dwell.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of five years calls me his "partner." I care about his family, and they are happy we are together.

His daughter had a small wedding with just a few family members and the wedding party. I sat alone in our room for hours while they took pre-wedding photos. Not a problem. But when no voices were heard, I looked out, and everyone was gone! I texted my partner asking where everyone was. I had heard him walk by our room several times earlier, but he didn't respond. Should I have chased after him, asking to be included?

Before and after the ceremony, the photographer took individual and group photos, as well as the tables, the caterer and venue staff in addition to the family and wedding party. Although I was standing with everyone, no one invited me to join a group photo or take one with my partner. My brother said I should have asked to be included, but I didn't think it was my place. The bride and groom had already decided who they wanted photos of.

One of the groomsmen could tell my feelings were hurt. He came over and sat with me and asked if I was having fun. I did some grunt work for this ceremony, so it would have been nice to have had my presence acknowledged with an official photo, not a selfie. What do you think? -- LEFT-OUT LADY IN VIRGINIA

DEAR LADY: The bride and her husband may have been distracted, but your "partner" should have made sure you were included in at least one of the photos. The treatment you received was not only rude and thoughtless, it was also callous. Have there been other occasions in which he has been similarly thoughtless? If you plan to continue this romance, accept that you will have to become more assertive, rather than wait at the mercy of others.

DEAR ABBY: About three years ago, I got into an argument with my sister-in-law because of the verbal abuse she aimed at her children, who were 3 and 10. She swore at them and still puts them down constantly. I finally had enough and told her I didn't want to be around her if she was going to talk to them that way. She told me they were her kids so she could talk to them how she wanted. I haven't spoken to her since.

Now, three years later, I have two boys of my own. She wants to be in their lives, and my in-laws are upset that my husband and I don't want her around them. She has since apologized for her behavior, but neither of us trusts her, and we don't want her influence on our children. Should we accept her apology and spend time with her to appease my husband's family or do what we think is right for our kids? -- AVOIDING HER IN NEW YORK

DEAR AVOIDING HER: Your sister-in-law has apologized. Give her one more chance, and if you catch her berating her children or using foul language in front of your boys, take a giant step backward and do not expose them to her again -- or at least until they are old enough to understand that behavior like hers isn't tolerated in your branch of the family and why.