DEAR ABBY: My family and I bought a house in a nice, quiet, safe neighborhood three years ago. What we didn't know prior to moving in was that our next-door neighbor sometimes smokes cigarettes.

It rains eight months out of the year here, and we usually keep our windows closed, so it isn't an issue. But during the summer, we like to sleep with the windows open. When our neighbor steps outside for a cigarette, the smoke drifts into our bedroom.

Our homes are separated by small yards, so at first, I thought they didn't realize that the smoke was bothering us. Eventually I began to get upset. When I wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, I can smell it. I have made a point of loudly slamming the windows shut, hoping it would make them stop. There is no way they don't hear the noise, but it doesn't stop them.

We don't want to have to keep our windows closed, because it is not an everyday occurrence. It happens once a week or so, and always late at night or early in the morning. I don't know if this is how they handle insomnia or what the deal is. Why do they still smoke in this day and age?

There's no landlord to complain to because they own their home. After all these years, we have never introduced ourselves to each other, and I don't believe they care to know us any more than we care to get to know them. Because of this, confronting them is not an option. What do we do? -- HATES THE SMOKE IN OREGON

DEAR HATES: Your letter illustrates the disadvantages of isolationism. Had you made a point of introducing yourself when you (or they) moved in, you probably wouldn't have needed to write to me now.

Slamming your window shut is not a friendly or efficient way to communicate because these people are not mind readers. Going next door, introducing yourself, politely explaining that there's a problem and asking if they could smoke on the other side of their house, away from your bedroom window, would be better. If you can't bring yourself to do that, write a letter -- keeping the communication civil -- and tell them in simple language that you would appreciate their cooperation in solving this problem.

DEAR ABBY: I've been with the same man for 22 years, married for 16. We live in a small town. During the last four or five years, everything has become about politics for my husband. I have absolutely no interest in hearing about what happens politically in big cities -- or anywhere, for that matter. How can I get him to stop going on and on about what he reads or hears? So far, I haven't been successful, and we end up arguing. Must I take an interest in it for his sake? Do you see any room for a compromise? -- DON'T SHOW ME IN MISSOURI

DEAR DON'T: To some degree, you have to allow your husband to vent. Because we are in an important election year, there is no escaping the subject. If you listen, you may learn something you didn't know that could be relevant to you. Limit the amount of time you spend listening, but I don't recommend cutting him off. I'm willing to bet that you sometimes bring up subjects that may be less than fascinating for him, too. Tolerance and a willingness to compromise are two of the ingredients in a healthy marriage.

DEAR ABBY: The 22-year-old daughter of close friends of ours has been living in a van during the pandemic. Her parents, my husband and I heard her on her cellphone talking about a party where her friends were doing meth. No one reacted except me. I said, "That's terrifying!" and she answered, "Right?"

I cannot stop worrying about this young woman, who I have watched grow since she was a baby. The red spots on her face, which I had assumed were from acne, now haunt me. What can I do?

I had offered her the use of our driveway, if needed, but I don't want meth users here because I have two college-age sons, so now I regret even that. I feel since she broached the topic she was asking for help. Her mom let it completely slide. Help! -- SICK WITH WORRY IN COLORADO

DEAR SICK: The baby you watched grow up is now an adult. If you think she was asking for help because she is addicted to methamphetamine, talk to her and offer to help her get it. IF she says she wants to move her van to your property, explain that as long as she is using and/or partying with contemporaries who do, the offer is off the table.

As to her parents who, from what you wrote, appear to be clueless, tell them you are alarmed and why, and urge them to go online and educate themselves about the symptoms of meth addiction, which include facial sores.

DEAR ABBY: I have a wonderful husband. He is very outgoing, and I would like to think of myself as the same, but I work hard. He always makes plans for the weekends, but sometimes I just want to stay home, relax and get the house in order. The problem is, he insists we go and do something like day or overnight trips hours away every weekend. I encourage him to go visit our friends because I know I can trust him, and I need some alone time! Am I wrong for that? -- PEACEFUL AND STILL

DEAR PEACEFUL: You are not wrong. You are as entitled to your feelings as your husband is to his. Things should not always have to be his way. The two of you need to work out a compromise. (Compromise is the secret ingredient in happy marriages.) If he feels the need to get away and it doesn't bother you because you trust him, you should be entitled to time at home to get the place -- and your head -- straight.

DEAR ABBY: I am my husband's second wife. His first wife died of cancer eight years ago. His late wife's mother still calls him her son-in-law and introduces him as such. She also asks him to help her with things around the house, like getting mulch and remodeling the bath. She invites all of us over to holidays, but I can't help but feel awkward. Am I overreacting? Shouldn't she find someone else to help her now that bond is broken? -- IN THE PRESENT IN INDIANA

DEAR IN THE PRESENT: If the bond were broken, your husband's former mother-in-law would find someone else, and your husband would help her to do it. He may still feel like a member of that family. Please be smart and less defensive. The woman is making an effort to include you in her celebrations. Accept the gesture for what it is and be gracious.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been together for 11 years, married for eight. We have been through a lot together, which has served to strengthen our marriage. My husband is my Prince Charming and my happily forever after.

Recently, he has discovered that he likes wearing women's clothes. It started with him wearing women's underwear under his clothes, which didn't bother me. I even bought him a few pair I liked. It has progressed quickly.

He assures me that he isn't gay, he does not want to become a woman or want to dress in women's clothes full time. However, some of his behaviors have changed, and his wearing women's clothing has increased. When I tried discussing my concerns with him, he said I was being irrational. We fought, and I thought we had worked some things out, but he still has an attitude.

I'm terrified that this is the beginning of the end of my marriage, and I don't want to lose him. But I also don't know just how much of this I can accept or how far he wants to go. He says if I can't accept it, he will stop doing it. But we will both know that he has that desire, and I don't want to stifle something that seems to mean so much to him. I have no one I can talk to about this, Abby. Please help. -- STRUGGLING IN FLORIDA

DEAR STRUGGLING: Take the opportunity to learn all you can about cross-dressing. More men than you may think engage in it, and the majority are heterosexual. An excellent support group for cross-dressers and wives of men who need (not "like") to cross-dress is The Society for the Second Self (Tri Ess). Its website is tri-ess.org. Go there and you will find the support and answers you're looking for.

Keep the lines of communication with your husband open and honest. Only the two of you can determine how to navigate through this. For many couples, it's not necessarily a deal-breaker.

DEAR ABBY: When I was 21, I got pregnant with "Earl," a guy who had nothing to his name but a bicycle. It was three weeks after we met. Earl was 24. Two years later we split. I was working and he was a stay-at-home dad, and I couldn't stand it.

Five years later, I married a very wealthy man, moved to another country and lived a life of luxury. Thirteen years later we split. I left our small island and moved back, still well off on my own.

Earl was my rock and is a totally different man now. Sixteen years later, I have fallen head over heels for him. He has become everything I've always wanted. Our son wasn't crazy about it at first (he's 18), but now loves it. Earl's mother said she knew it would end up this way. My parents have reservations. Do you think we have a fighting chance? -- NEW EXPAT IN NEVADA

DEAR NEW EXPAT: Earl is not the person he was and, frankly, neither are you. Do the two of you have a fighting chance? Absolutely. However, before marrying anyone again, it is important that you discuss this with an attorney and have in place a signed prenuptial agreement. While it may not seem romantic, it's the intelligent thing to do.