DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married for 30 years. He has always been self-centered. We have discussed this over the years, and it hasn't changed his disposition. I bought him an "It's All About Me" coffee cup years ago as a joke, and he enjoys using it!
We both have office jobs and day-to-day issues and problems with our employees and co-workers. If we talk on the phone at lunch or over dinner, he describes his daily issues in excruciating detail, looking for my feedback/input and then moves on. There is never a time I can update him on my issues and get his input to help with mine because he's too busy thinking about his issues.
He cares deeply about our adult children, but doesn't give them input on their issues either. If I don't remind him about the challenges (i.e., buying a new car, looking for a new job, etc.) they want our advice on, he would never reach out to them to assist. I am not sure if this is a personality trait I must live with or if you have some ideas to improve this situation. -- ALL ABOUT HIM
DEAR ALL ABOUT HIM: Has it occurred to you that in some areas your husband may be less self-centered than an empty vessel? He may not help you with your daily issues because he doesn't have the answers.
Assuming you have talked to him about this until you are blue in the face, the next time he asks for your input, you might consider being less helpful. Or, beat him to the punch and tell him about your problems before he has a chance to tell you the ones he is having.
As to your adult children, they should go directly to their father when they seek his advice and continue to approach him until they get it.