DEAR ABBY: I am a 41-year-old woman who has been with my fiance for eight years. Before we decided to become a couple, I made clear to him that if he had no intention of moving south once my kids graduate, he should not get into a relationship with me. When we got together, I assumed he understood and would be moving with me. We have bought vehicles together and a house.
Earlier this year, he took me on a cruise and proposed. Again I made it clear about my plans to move south and told him not to give me a ring if he didn't plan on going. Well, here we are all these years later, and we have been fighting because I have only a year before I can leave. Is it wrong of me to not feel bad about moving considering I made my intentions clear more than once?
It has long been my dream to move south. I believe he's on the fence about it, but I know deep down he doesn't want to. I won't feel bad leaving him behind since he knew I was going. I feel like eight years of my life have been wasted. -- FRUSTRATED IN NEW YORK
DEAR FRUSTRATED: If you two have been happy together during the last eight years, they weren't "wasted." They may simply be one more chapter in your life. Rather than fight, you and your fiance (or are the two of you married now?) need to have a calm, serious discussion about what's going to happen, because if he isn't on board for at least giving southern living a try, you two will have to separate your assets (house, cars) before you relocate. It may be less expensive emotionally and financially if you can keep things amicable.