DEAR ABBY: I feel uncomfortable receiving gifts, and I find it hard to meet my husband's requests for constant gifts, especially when I feel I already give so much. He constantly asks me to buy him things, some of which are very expensive.

I'm a saver, not a spender, and I try to watch my budget. I already pay all the household bills, even though we make the same amount of money. I owned my house before we met, and he chips in with occasional upgrades and maintenance or takes me out to dinner once in a while. But I pay for the vast majority of expenses, as well as perform the majority of chores. I have sacrificed and paid for all our vacations because I wanted the experience, and I accept that.

The problem is, he seems to feel unappreciated, suggesting that if I gifted him more often, he would know he was constantly thought of. He says he buys me random gifts -- usually small items to which there are strings attached or implied reciprocity. These requests, especially when he buys for himself quite a bit, seem like a smack in the face to me. I feel he's impulsive with purchases, and won't be happy until I have nothing left.

How do I handle meeting my husband's need for constant validation without going bankrupt or having all the love sucked out from resentment? Mentioning my financial limitations doesn't seem to quench his thirst for more. -- EXCESSIVE IN NEW YORK

DEAR EXCESSIVE: If my reading of your letter is accurate, you are doing all the heavy lifting in your marriage. What, exactly, is your husband contributing except to ask for more? Gifts are supposed to be freely given, not dispensed because they are requested.

Whether your husband is greedy, selfish or extremely needy, I can't guess, but the balance is off in your marriage. This is why I'm recommending you consult a marriage and family therapist. If your husband is willing to go with you and discuss these issues, they can be resolved. If not, please go alone so you can gain clearer insight into what (and whom) you are dealing with.

DEAR ABBY: My mother likes to tell people where to sit at every family gathering. It can be anywhere, including at a restaurant or even at my aunt's house. It's annoying and feels disrespectful.

I'm 49, and my girls are in their early 20s. I try to be patient, but she doesn't consider health conditions or if someone is left-handed.

My older daughter was severely traumatized by a former neighbor and doesn't do well with strangers. A few years ago, my cousin's boyfriend came, and my mother ordered my daughter to sit next to him. It was horrible for my daughter. We tried one more time last year at a restaurant, and it was the same. Since then, we have skipped family gatherings. I don't know why she feels she has to tell us what to do. Please help. -- PUSHED AROUND IN KENTUCKY

DEAR PUSHED: Have you talked to your mother about this? She may, for whatever reason, need to feel she is in control. If she isn't hosting the gathering, this may be her way of maintaining dominance in her relationship with her sister, her children and grandchildren.

I'm not sure you can change your mother, but please don't cut yourself off from the rest of your family. If you aren't seeing them individually, please consider it.

DEAR ABBY: I got married to a wonderful guy 14 years ago, but after a year of marriage, our children (his 10-year-old and my 12- and 13-year-olds) couldn't stand one another and caused a lot of problems. I was brokenhearted when he gave me divorce papers. I moved out but continued to date him without our kids around.

Seven years ago, after his son moved out, I moved back in, but he won't ask me to remarry him. My kids get along fine with him, but his son hates me and refuses to come to any holiday or birthday celebration that I host.

Should I move out and move on? I feel like I have wasted 14 years of my life. -- HOPELESS IN OHIO

DEAR HOPELESS: I wish you had mentioned why this "wonderful guy's" son hates you. Could it be he blames you for the failure of his parents' marriage, or was it something else? That this man has allowed his son to dictate how the two of you will spend your lives is very sad. Unless you can accept living with the status quo (which has to be painful), the answer to your question is: Move on.

DEAR ABBY: In 2014, I loaned a family friend $5,000. At the time, and ever since, I never asked the reason for the loan. Over time we lost touch. However, we recently reconnected and decided to go on a road/camping trip throughout the West.

Three days in, we both realized it was a poor idea to travel together for an extended period of time. He has now become quite nasty and speaks ill of me. Should I write and request payment of the loan or let it go? -- OUT OF POCKET IN VEGAS

DEAR OUT OF POCKET: If you had the forethought to put in writing the fact you were lending this person money, you have a prayer of having the loan repaid. If you didn't, you can try writing to this family (former) friend, but legally it won't be worth the paper your letter is written on. If that's the case, consider this an expensive lesson.

P.S. Because no effort was made over the last six years to repay your generosity, your road trip was doomed before it started.

DEAR ABBY: I have a very good friend I've known for 18 years. Without fail, every time we're on the phone and she gets another call, she'll say, "Oh, let me call you right back," but she never does. Sometimes days will go by until I call her or she calls me, and then she acts like nothing happened.

We could be in the middle of a conversation but she doesn't call back. Or, she'll call me while she's driving somewhere and end the call when she has arrived at her destination, if she hasn't already hung up to take another call.

Is she a true friend? What should I say or do? After years of feeling unimportant in her life, it has really started to get to me lately. -- NOT FINISHED IN THE EAST

DEAR NOT FINISHED: Your longtime friend is inconsiderate. Rather than wait endlessly, call her back the same day. And when you do, tell her exactly how her lack of concern for your feelings has made you feel. Do not, however, expect her to like it, because inconsiderate people rarely do when it is pointed out to them.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 35-year-old single mom. I've dated a few people over the last seven years, but none of them wanted to commit. Several months ago, I started seeing "Joey," a friend of a couple of years. He's sweet, respectful, hardworking, and he helps me whenever I need it.

Joey is on the heavy side, but he's clean and kempt. I introduced him to my mom, and she continues to say he is "gross." She refers to him only as "that man" and never by his name. He has always been very polite and has never said anything to her out of the way.

My son and I have lived with Mom ever since my divorce, and I have helped her out with more than my share of the bills and groceries. I'm currently trying to buy a house, but the market is competitive with the low interest rates. I work full time, take great care of my son and do lots of chores around the house.

How can I convince my mother to accept Joey, or should I ignore what she says as long as he's good to my son and me? -- FOUND A GOOD GUY IN THE SOUTH

DEAR FOUND: Nothing you can do will make your mother accept Joey. Most parents judge the men in their daughters' lives by how they treat their daughters, rather than a number on the scale. Has it occurred to you that she may be afraid your relationship with Joey could develop to the point you will no longer be around to do chores and help her with the bills?

From your description of him, "that man" is definitely a keeper. As long as he is good to you and your son and you care for him, please don't allow your mother to discourage you. As an adult, it's important to make your own decisions and live your own life without interference.

DEAR ABBY: My younger sister is a bipolar, narcissistic, psychotic, evil woman with bachelor's and master's degrees in psychology and counseling. She has hated me from birth. I know exactly what she is, and she can't stand that I do.

She spreads lies about me because our mother was alive for my wedding and not for hers and, according to her, it's my fault. (Mama died 10 years ago.) I made her maid of honor at my wedding and godmother to my child, but no matter what I do, she complains to anyone who will listen about what a horrible person she thinks I am. Because of her education, family members believe everything she says without question.

Our adult lives have been spent with her shutting me out and gossiping about me to extended family. How can I convince my relatives to listen to me? I have no one on my side when it comes to her because the family knows about her mental health issues and tell me to get over it. I can't! Please help me. -- CAN'T GO ON LIKE THIS

DEAR CAN'T GO ON: That your sister has graduate degrees in psychology and counseling does not guarantee that she isn't mentally ill. Your relatives are aware of her mental health issues and have advised you not to overreact. Perhaps you should take that to heart.

Find another godmother for your child, because clearly this one is unsuitable, and spend as little time around your sister as you can. If necessary, start replacing unsupportive family members with friends you can trust to be supportive. The only thing you should not do is continue to allow your sick sister to rule your life.