DEAR ABBY: I got married to a wonderful guy 14 years ago, but after a year of marriage, our children (his 10-year-old and my 12- and 13-year-olds) couldn't stand one another and caused a lot of problems. I was brokenhearted when he gave me divorce papers. I moved out but continued to date him without our kids around.

Seven years ago, after his son moved out, I moved back in, but he won't ask me to remarry him. My kids get along fine with him, but his son hates me and refuses to come to any holiday or birthday celebration that I host.

Should I move out and move on? I feel like I have wasted 14 years of my life. -- HOPELESS IN OHIO

DEAR HOPELESS: I wish you had mentioned why this "wonderful guy's" son hates you. Could it be he blames you for the failure of his parents' marriage, or was it something else? That this man has allowed his son to dictate how the two of you will spend your lives is very sad. Unless you can accept living with the status quo (which has to be painful), the answer to your question is: Move on.

DEAR ABBY: In 2014, I loaned a family friend $5,000. At the time, and ever since, I never asked the reason for the loan. Over time we lost touch. However, we recently reconnected and decided to go on a road/camping trip throughout the West.

Three days in, we both realized it was a poor idea to travel together for an extended period of time. He has now become quite nasty and speaks ill of me. Should I write and request payment of the loan or let it go? -- OUT OF POCKET IN VEGAS

DEAR OUT OF POCKET: If you had the forethought to put in writing the fact you were lending this person money, you have a prayer of having the loan repaid. If you didn't, you can try writing to this family (former) friend, but legally it won't be worth the paper your letter is written on. If that's the case, consider this an expensive lesson.

P.S. Because no effort was made over the last six years to repay your generosity, your road trip was doomed before it started.

DEAR ABBY: I have a very good friend I've known for 18 years. Without fail, every time we're on the phone and she gets another call, she'll say, "Oh, let me call you right back," but she never does. Sometimes days will go by until I call her or she calls me, and then she acts like nothing happened.

We could be in the middle of a conversation but she doesn't call back. Or, she'll call me while she's driving somewhere and end the call when she has arrived at her destination, if she hasn't already hung up to take another call.

Is she a true friend? What should I say or do? After years of feeling unimportant in her life, it has really started to get to me lately. -- NOT FINISHED IN THE EAST

DEAR NOT FINISHED: Your longtime friend is inconsiderate. Rather than wait endlessly, call her back the same day. And when you do, tell her exactly how her lack of concern for your feelings has made you feel. Do not, however, expect her to like it, because inconsiderate people rarely do when it is pointed out to them.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a 35-year-old single mom. I've dated a few people over the last seven years, but none of them wanted to commit. Several months ago, I started seeing "Joey," a friend of a couple of years. He's sweet, respectful, hardworking, and he helps me whenever I need it.

Joey is on the heavy side, but he's clean and kempt. I introduced him to my mom, and she continues to say he is "gross." She refers to him only as "that man" and never by his name. He has always been very polite and has never said anything to her out of the way.

My son and I have lived with Mom ever since my divorce, and I have helped her out with more than my share of the bills and groceries. I'm currently trying to buy a house, but the market is competitive with the low interest rates. I work full time, take great care of my son and do lots of chores around the house.

How can I convince my mother to accept Joey, or should I ignore what she says as long as he's good to my son and me? -- FOUND A GOOD GUY IN THE SOUTH

DEAR FOUND: Nothing you can do will make your mother accept Joey. Most parents judge the men in their daughters' lives by how they treat their daughters, rather than a number on the scale. Has it occurred to you that she may be afraid your relationship with Joey could develop to the point you will no longer be around to do chores and help her with the bills?

From your description of him, "that man" is definitely a keeper. As long as he is good to you and your son and you care for him, please don't allow your mother to discourage you. As an adult, it's important to make your own decisions and live your own life without interference.

DEAR ABBY: My younger sister is a bipolar, narcissistic, psychotic, evil woman with bachelor's and master's degrees in psychology and counseling. She has hated me from birth. I know exactly what she is, and she can't stand that I do.

She spreads lies about me because our mother was alive for my wedding and not for hers and, according to her, it's my fault. (Mama died 10 years ago.) I made her maid of honor at my wedding and godmother to my child, but no matter what I do, she complains to anyone who will listen about what a horrible person she thinks I am. Because of her education, family members believe everything she says without question.

Our adult lives have been spent with her shutting me out and gossiping about me to extended family. How can I convince my relatives to listen to me? I have no one on my side when it comes to her because the family knows about her mental health issues and tell me to get over it. I can't! Please help me. -- CAN'T GO ON LIKE THIS

DEAR CAN'T GO ON: That your sister has graduate degrees in psychology and counseling does not guarantee that she isn't mentally ill. Your relatives are aware of her mental health issues and have advised you not to overreact. Perhaps you should take that to heart.

Find another godmother for your child, because clearly this one is unsuitable, and spend as little time around your sister as you can. If necessary, start replacing unsupportive family members with friends you can trust to be supportive. The only thing you should not do is continue to allow your sick sister to rule your life.

DEAR ABBY: My 7-year-old granddaughter, "Leyla," has a playmate who is a transgender girl. My fear is that she may find out the truth and feel betrayed by her playmate as well as me. Should I explain it to her?

It doesn't matter to me that her friend is transgender because I have always believed that a person's most important trait is having good morals. I'm an upfront and honest person. However, with respect to this subject, I feel that if I remain silent, it's as though I'm somehow betraying my granddaughter.

Leyla is very accepting of all people, and I don't believe it would change her relationship with the child as long as I explain everything to her about people who are trans. Any advice would be appreciated. -- PROGRESSIVE GRAN IN ARIZONA

DEAR GRAN: Do Leyla's parents know about the friendship? Assuming they do, have a chat with them, as well as the playmate's parents, to make sure you're all on the same page. I do not think you should "out" Leyla's playmate to her. But I DO think it is time you start talking to your granddaughter about gender and what makes a girl a girl and what makes a boy a boy.

At some point, her friend may feel comfortable enough about the friendship -- and herself -- to tell Leyla herself. When that happens, be prepared to answer any questions your granddaughter may have. PFLAG, an organization I have mentioned before in my column, is an excellent resource for LGBTQ issues and will be helpful to you if you reach out. Its website is pflag.org.

DEAR ABBY: My worst fear has come true. My daughter just became engaged to someone we do not approve of. They have been together for three years, and it has been three years of drama -- from not working because they have to be together 24/7 to domestic violence. Must I attend the wedding? Should I help her plan it? She is my first born and I adore her, but I feel she is making a huge mistake. -- RELUCTANT IN OHIO

DEAR RELUCTANT: I am going to assume that you have expressed your feelings and concerns to your daughter. If that's the case, then you must accept that she is an adult and capable of making her own decisions.

Should you help plan the wedding? Yes, as long as you are not paying for it. Should you attend even though you don't approve of her choice of husband? Absolutely! If he's a violent abuser, she is going to need family around her so she doesn't become isolated and totally under his control. Her life could depend on it.

DEAR ABBY: Sadly, my son passed away (suicide), leaving his two younger sisters. I am often asked how many children I have, and I'm never sure how to respond. I feel it would be disrespectful to my son's memory if I don't include him. However, if I do, it invariably leads to more questions than I care to answer. Any insight would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. -- REMEMBERING HIM

DEAR REMEMBERING: I am sorry for your loss. While a question about children is a way people often use to establish a common bond, it can be an emotionally loaded one. Consider offering this response: "I have three children. One of them is in heaven." If you are pressed further, it would not be impolite to respond that the subject is painful and you would rather not discuss it.