DEAR ABBY: I have been married to my husband for 12 years. He retired from the Army before I met him, and I currently serve, stationed overseas.

When we first met, I thought we had an understanding that because he didn't have to work, he would follow me and my three children wherever the military takes us. He doesn't like to get "tied down," and I don't do too well with long-distance relationships. He developed a love for golf, which takes him touring all over the world.

Now that it's just the two of us and the children are grown, I thought we would never be apart. Well, we've been apart for the four years that I've been stationed away from him, and I am tired of it. He's a good man but set in his ways. I have another 10 years before I retire, and I don't want to waste the best years of my life being lonely.

We haven't slept together in seven months, and even when he visits, we are not on the same emotional level. I plan to divorce him, which I have alluded to twice before, and now is my chance to follow through. Should I? -- SERIOUSLY DEBATING

DEAR DEBATING: Because you are unwilling to accept the way your husband is, and he is unwilling to spend time working on your marriage, you should follow through. Contact an attorney and get the process started.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I recently found out that we are expecting our second "oops" baby. We are thrilled, but I'm deeply concerned about one thing. My husband's brother and his wife are a few weeks away from completing their first round of IVF. I'm beside myself trying to think of ways to be as sensitive as possible.

My husband says that, as both of these circumstances are beyond human control, there's no need to worry, and we can reasonably expect everyone to be adult and understanding. But I understand the emotional toll taken by infertility is incredible, and I'm worried she'll feel overlooked, or, worse, if the IVF isn't successful, that she'll regard our baby as a constant reminder. Please help! -- UNEXPECTED IN TEXAS

DEAR UNEXPECTED: I applaud your appreciation of the emotional toll infertility can take on couples, which can be devastating. However, if your sister-in-law's IVF is unsuccessful and you make your grand announcement afterward, the news will be doubly painful for her. This is why I vote for telling her quietly -- before she receives the results -- so she will be prepared regardless of what they are.

DEAR ABBY: I have had two partners now who, almost every morning, would regale me for 10 minutes about their nightly dreams. It drove me up the wall, but I didn't want to hurt their feelings, so I sat and listened to their boring stories about flying or falling or my doing something bad. Would you please inform your readers that their dreams are their own and they do not interest other people? -- DREAM-FREE IN WASHINGTON

DEAR DREAM-FREE: I have a better idea. YOU tell your future partners you would rather not hear about their dreams when they start regaling you. That way they won't miss the message if they happen to skip my column today.

DEAR ABBY: My wife of 10 years keeps all kinds of secrets from me. We let her adult daughter, "Maude," move in. Maude is 35 and has one daughter. I recently found out that Maude is pregnant again. I heard they had decided to "surprise me" with the news. (The father is the same guy as before.) I'm tired of being the third wheel, and I think it's time for me to call it quits. What do you think? -- STAY OR GO IN CONNECTICUT

DEAR STAY OR GO: I'm glad you asked. What I think is that you are outnumbered. Maude should be living on her own or with the father of her children. If I am reading between the lines correctly, you have allowed yourself to be stuck with the financial burden that Maude and her irresponsible boyfriend should be carrying. I also think it's time you gave your wife an ultimatum -- either Maude and her daughter move out or you will. Whichever option she chooses, your situation will improve.

DEAR ABBY: I've been married for five years. Before meeting my husband, I never thought I would find "the one." Recently, I have been having feelings of wanting to experience sleeping with a woman. I've always been sexually adventurous, and I have mentioned a threesome, but he isn't interested.

I don't want to die without experiencing sex with a woman, but I also love my husband dearly, and we have a great partnership that I don't want to destroy. Help! -- WOMAN SEEKS WOMAN IN NEW YORK

DEAR WOMAN: It's time for another frank conversation with your husband. Explain clearly that although you love him dearly and do not want to destroy your partnership, you are bi-curious and you would like to experience sex with a woman. However, if his reaction is negative, you must then decide how important fulfilling this fantasy is to you in light of the fact that it could threaten your marriage.

DEAR ABBY: I'm a stay-at-home mother. My husband works Monday to Friday, 10 hours a day. We have been married nearly four years. My problem is we never have alone time. I feel if it continues, we will just fall apart.

On weekends, we sit home, and it's claustrophobic. We have only one vehicle, which he needs to use, so during the week, I'm stuck at home. Being home 24/7 is driving me nuts. We never get out and have family time or a date night. I tell him we need it, but he doesn't seem to care. Could you guide me on what to do? -- IN NEED OF COUPLES' TIME

DEAR IN NEED: Stop telling your husband "we" need a date night and say instead, "I need this! If you want our marriage to survive, you will take me out of here so we can spend time without the kid (or kids) because I feel like I'm going nuts."

A date night every few weeks or once a month isn't too much to ask for. If he is worried about the expense, make sure he knows a hamburger, a sandwich, a drive alone with him is what you need. But if he still doesn't seem to care, then your problem is greater than cabin fever.

DEAR ABBY: I have been lucky enough to have fallen madly in love with the most wonderful man in the world. We have been together for two years and living together for almost a year. I'm in my mid-30s; he's in his mid-40s. We both have had plenty of experience in love -- enough to feel sure that we've found the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with.

My best friend has been very disparaging of our relationship and makes rude comments about it. If I tell her how happy we are in spite of the pandemic, she says it's because we're still in the "honeymoon phase." If I describe something kind that my boyfriend has done for me, she adopts a condescending tone and makes remarks about "new love" and that I should enjoy this now because it will change.

She's the same age I am and has been with her fiance for nine years. I have always been very supportive of their relationship, but she seems incapable of offering me the same level of support in my love life. When I try to talk to her about something she has said or done that bothers me, she often becomes aggressive, and I don't know how to approach this subject without getting into an argument or losing our friendship. What should I do? -- PROUDLY LUCKY IN LOVE

DEAR PROUDLY LUCKY: Could your friend be suffering from a touch of jealousy because you constantly extoll your boyfriend's virtues? Her cynicism may have something to do with the fact that she and her fiance have been together for nine years with no marriage in sight.

If you can't talk to her about sensitive issues without her becoming aggressive or you being afraid of losing the friendship, it doesn't take a crystal ball to see the two of you are growing increasingly distant with the passage of time. I do think you should ask your friend why she reacts the way she does and tell her how it makes you feel. It may be the only way to save your friendship.

DEAR ABBY: At what age is it no longer appropriate for children to play naked while outside in their yard?

We are a childless couple in our 60s who live in a suburban neighborhood in the Northeast. A new couple moved here with their children, a boy and a girl, who appear to be about 5 and 8 years old. Both of them often are naked while playing in their yard. This happens in all kinds of weather, not just when it's extremely hot.

We all have fairly large yards, but none of the yards in the neighborhood are private. Neighbors on both sides of this family and anyone walking up or down the street can see the children. We are not prudes, but this happens frequently, and it makes us uncomfortable. Is it time for us to move? -- AVERTING MY EYES

DEAR AVERTING: Five- and 8-year-old minors are too old to be naked in public. Pay a visit to your new neighbors' house and introduce yourself. Ask why the kids play outside with no clothes on. Gauge what you learn, and if you suspect neglect or abuse, report it to Child Protective Services.